Away When You Were Here
Ben Folds Five Lyrics

Dad I know you were sad when you died
The singer acknowledges that their father was unhappy before he passed away.

And I was young it's the way I kept you in my mind
The singer only had memories of their father from when they were young.

The mess that was left and my mother cried
After the father's death, there was chaos and sadness.

And when she stood up she was nobody's mother I'd be fine
The mother was not emotionally present or stable after the father's death.

But I missed you then
The artist had feelings of longing for their father in the past.

And I miss you now
Those feelings still exist in the present.

Liked you'd missed things I might say
Just as the singer missed their father, the father might have also missed certain aspects of the singer's life.

You seemed lost in clouds
The father seemed to be lost or absent, potentially due to his own issues or problems.

But I'm older now
The artist has grown up and gained perspective.

I can see through lifting haze
The artist has gained clarity and understanding about their father's absence.

That you were away even when you were here
The father's physical presence did not necessarily mean that he was emotionally present.

Sometimes a phrase or a manner that's you
The artist notices instances where they see a likeness to their father.

Comes through me, it goes in a flash
These instances are fleeting and quickly gone.

It's a frame, it's a blink like life
These moments are similar to the fleeting moments of life.

Oh and how much now should we pay for the past
The singer wonders how much they should dwell on past regrets.

'Cause you could age with grace if I freed you in my mind
The artist reflects that they could have had a better relationship with their father if they were able to let go of past negative experiences.

But I loved you then
The artist had feelings of love for their father in the past.

And I love you now
Those feelings still exist in the present.

All the things I wished I'd asked
The singer has regrets about not asking certain questions of their father.

When I'm lost in clouds
The artist still has moments of confusion or feeling lost.

I remember how
The artist reflects on specific memories of their father.

I was robbed and I was blessed
The artist's life was affected by their father's absence, both negatively and positively.

And you were away even when you were here
Again, the father's physical presence did not necessarily mean that he was emotionally present.

'Cause it's not about you, not you, anymore
The artist acknowledges that their father is no longer the central focus of their life.

It's about what I'd do with it all
The singer now has a choice about how they handle their experiences and memories of their father.

And I, I'll never let you let me down
The singer won't let the regret or sadness of their father's absence define them.

This morning I wake to be older than you were
The singer reflects that they have lived longer than their father did.

Fresh white snow for miles, every footstep will be mine
The artist has a sense of freedom and independence, able to make their own choices.

You'd have lost that weight, you'd have gone so straight
The artist imagines what their father's life would have been like if he had been present and healthy.

You'd have made my wedding day
The singer imagines the positive role their father could have played in their life events.

You'd have saved my youth from that bullet of truth
The singer imagines their father could have provided guidance or shelter from difficult life experiences.

You'd have kept those wolves at bay
The artist imagines their father as a protector.

But you were away, you were away even when you were
The song ends as it began, reflecting on the father's absence.