Ben Reneer is a singer-songwriter from Alpine, Utah. According to the man h… Read Full Bio ↴Ben Reneer is a singer-songwriter from Alpine, Utah. According to the man himself, Reneer "is determined to tell stories in the best way he knows how: through the universal language of music." He released his first album, "Facets of this Faded Memory" in February of 2019; Reneer aptly described its themes as "coping with regret and being present."

He followed up with a sophomore album, "Between These Walls," in April of 2020, which found him veering away from the raw acoustics of his first record and into a dreamscape of atmospheric guitars and synths. The LP, which was written and produced entirely by Reneer, is encompassed by figurative walls in the opening and closing tracks symbolizing death and rebirth. The opener samples the newborn cry of a nephew, while a slow and steady heartbeat belies the hushed piano on the closer. The introspection that gave rise to the album reflects the melancholy and remorse that inspires so much of his songwriting, but also reflects his natural inclivity for recognizing the harsh realities of human existence. The passage of time, frustration with romantic pursuit, and existentialism all speak to the strange and transitory journey we embark on in a single lifetime.

Emma
Ben Reneer Lyrics

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I was still alone
The moment that you held me
Cause I couldn't let go
Of who I thought I was
I guess that's how things go
It's yours and then it's history
When I was feeling ready
It ended just because

Am I a ghost in someone's body?
Am I a voice inside your mind?
And if I'm haunting you, I'm sorry
I haunt myself sometimes
Unprepared
For the things you told me
I hope I didn't scare you
Buried in my thoughts
I hope you know
How much I think I need you
So I write another poem
And hope that that's enough
Am I a ghost in someone's body?
Am I a voice inside your mind?
And if I'm haunting you, I'm sorry
I haunt myself sometimes
I haunt myself sometimes
If you keep dragging this on
Then I'll keep dragging us on
Go find a way not to haunt someone
If I keep dragging this on
Then you'll keep dragging us on
Go find a way not to haunt someone
Am I a ghost in someone's body?
Am I a voice inside your mind?

And if I'm haunting you, I'm sorry
I haunt myself sometimes

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of this beautifully sad song, "Emma" by Ben Reneer, tackles the struggles of letting go of someone we desperately cling to, even when we know deep down it won't work out. It starts off with the singer feeling lonely and possibly yearning for someone's company. The situation seems to escalate as he insists on holding on to who he used to be, disregarding the possibility of growth and change. However, things reach a tipping point and end abruptly, leaving the singer feeling lost and confused.

The chorus goes on to explore an interesting metaphor - the concept of being a ghost in someone's body. The singer wonders if he still lingers in the other person's mind, if he still holds space in their lives. This can be interpreted in two ways - either he is still present in the other person's thoughts, or he feels like a mere shell of himself, existing in someone else's body. He reflects on his hurtful actions and apologizes for the pain he may have caused. The emotional turmoil of the situation is further highlighted by the line "I haunt myself sometimes," which suggests that the singer is struggling to come to terms with his feelings and the events that have unfolded.

In the final verse, the lyrics take on a confrontational tone. The singer seems to be aware of the unhealthy dynamic and tells the other person to find a way to stop hanging on to him, even as he does the same. It's a poignant moment that highlights the difficulty of letting go of someone we love, even when we know it's necessary for healing.

Line by Line Meaning

I was still alone
I was feeling lonely and isolated

The moment that you held me
At the moment you showed me affection

Cause I couldn't let go
Because I was holding onto my past self

Of who I thought I was
Of my past identity that I'm trying to let go of

I guess that's how things go
I understand that's just how life is

It's yours and then it's history
Once something belongs to you, it becomes a thing of the past

When I was feeling ready
When I felt like I was prepared

It ended just because
It ended for no apparent reason

Am I a ghost in someone's body?
Am I a mere presence in someone's life without any substantial impact?

Am I a voice inside your mind?
Do you hear me in your thoughts even when I'm not there?

And if I'm haunting you, I'm sorry
If I'm causing some distress in your life, then I apologize