Kendimdeyim Bazen
Benz Lyrics

"Bazen kendimdeyim bazen, gereksiz mesafem" translates to "Sometimes I am within myself, sometimes my distance is unnecessary." Benz is expressing a feeling of being withdrawn or disconnected at times. The phrase "gereksiz mesafem" could also imply that there is a self-imposed barrier or emotional distance from others.

The lyrics continue with "Anlatıyor dertlerimi, mimiksiz ifadem," which means "It tells my sorrows, my expression without gestures." Benz implies that even though there may be a lack of outward expression or visible emotions, his troubles are still communicated in some way. This suggests that he may struggle to articulate his feelings or open up to others verbally.

The repetition of "Çıkamadım halen, tutarsan elimden mücadelem boş olur zaten" throughout the song translates to "I haven't gotten out yet, my struggle will be in vain if you hold my hand." This could imply that Benz feels trapped in a certain state or situation, and unless he finds a way to overcome it on his own, any assistance or reliance on someone else will be futile.

The following lines "Loş sokakların çıkmazı bitmez, düştüm enkaz hiç veremem ses, mor gözaltlarım uykusuz bir ben" adds more depth to his emotional state. The lyrics describe a sense of being trapped in dark and dead-end streets, symbolizing a feeling of hopelessness. Benz speaks of being unable to make a sound, as if his voice has been taken away or he is silent about his struggles. The mention of "mor gözaltlarım" (purple dark circles under his eyes) suggests a lack of sleep and a state of exhaustion.

In the final verse, Benz reveals that he can no longer wait and come quickly, and that he has released his expectations and stopped trying. He mentions the phrase "anla gözümden günün birinde, yazdım bir daha yazamam tez," which means "Understand from my eyes someday, I wrote it, I can't write it again quickly." This suggests that his eyes speak for themselves and convey his emotions, and that there comes a point where expressing himself becomes difficult or impossible.

Overall, "Kendimdeyim Bazen" is a song that explores feelings of introspection, emotional distance, struggle, and a sense of being trapped or unable to express oneself fully.