The Floor
Buck 65 Lyrics

I can remember being 7 years old and having gold fish that circled around in a bowl
I recall being a young child and owning pet goldfish that swam in a small glass bowl

And I would watch the forest burn and listen to the wind blow
I would gaze at the flames of a burning forest while hearing the howling of the wind

I can remember the table, the drapes and the window
I have a memory of the furnishings and scenery of my childhood home

The dark brown everything, decorations, styling
The decor and home styling were primarily composed of dark brown colors

Most of all I can remember my mother smiling
Above everything else, I recall my mother's ability to smile despite difficult circumstances

Worn out and faded, my home town was scrappy
My hometown was rundown and weary-looking

More than anything she wanted us to be happy
My mother's greatest desire was for our family to be content and joyful

Little to eat, back and forth to the hospital
We had limited food to eat and made frequent trips to the hospital

She was right, it's better to be happy if possible
She was correct in believing that it is best to strive for happiness whenever possible

But the old man was under attack and was weak
However, my father was in a weakened physical state and often caused problems for our family

And continued to beat us several times a week
He continued to physically abuse us multiple times each week

He lived like a king even though we were piss poor
Despite our poverty, my father acted as if he were royalty

I tried to be strong and careful what I wished for
I made an effort to be resilient and mindful of my hopes

My outsides ache and my insides stung
The physical pain caused by my father's abuse was overwhelming

From the long leather belt that replaced his tongue
He often used a leather belt to physically punish us in place of verbal communication

Not knowing how to run or how to hit the brakes
I didn't know how to escape or put an end to my difficult situation

A white picket fence was built around a pit of snakes
What appeared to be a picturesque, idyllic home was in reality a place of danger and suffering

Both a wonder and frightening, the thunder and lightening
The sound and sight of storms was simultaneously awe-inspiring and terrifying

These were the sounds and sights of a thousand fights
The noises and sights of my tumultuous home life were reminiscent of countless arguments and altercations

My mother, the poor fish, staging eternal
My mother, like a helpless fish in a bowl, was constantly putting on a show for the sake of others

Cherades and parades for the raging inferno
She was constantly acting in a performative way to appease my father's anger

Wanting to be happy, beaten all the while
Despite her desire for happiness, she was continually subjected to physical abuse

Asking me always 'Why don't you ever smile?'
My mother often questioned why I never seemed to express joy or happiness

And she'd show me how to do it, mother and wife
She would try to demonstrate how to maintain a facade of happiness for the sake of others, as a good mother and wife should

It was the saddest smile I ever saw in my life
Her attempts to smile for appearance's sake were extremely sorrowful and disheartening

And it hurt worse than death but for her sake I tried
It was emotionally painful for me to put on a false front, but I did so to not disappoint my mother

And one day all of those gold fish died
The pet goldfish that I had grown attached to eventually passed away

Hurricane, forest fire, out of control
Natural disasters such as hurricanes and wildfires were unpredictable and dangerous

Eyes open, floating on the water in the bowl
With wide-open eyes, the lifeless goldfish floated in their bowl

And when my father came home, he walked through the door
My father arrived home, oblivious to the tragedy that had occurred

And threw those fish to the cat on the kitchen floor
He carelessly tossed the dead goldfish to the family cat, showing no empathy or remorse

And the wind died too
The wind, which had once been a comforting sound, had ceased to blow

And I was still a child
Despite everything I had experienced, I was still young and unable to fully understand the intricacies of my family's situation

And the three of us watched
The three members of my family - my father, mother, and I - observed each other's reactions to the situation

As my mother smiled
Despite her grief and loss, my mother continued to try and maintain a positive facade by smiling