By any reckoning, Iranian native Kia has an extraordinary story to tell; he calls Ashes “music to lament to,” and he is only half-joking. As a small boy, he fled Tehran for London with his father, after witnessing up close the internecine violence of the Islamic Revolution. In the U.K., he was reintroduced to the mother he’d virtually never known, since she’d left Iran years before him, and he found himself placed in the strange, regimented environment of a British military school. As he grew up, the feelings that Kia was unable to articulate in words alone found expression in songs. He was so intuitively skilled at this creative channeling that he attracted the interest of a major London music publisher. As Kia built a repertoire, he decided to go to the United States in pursuit of his first record deal.
After making the rounds in New York City and Los Angeles, he signed a deal with Interscope Records. So far so good, but it wasn’t long before he discovered that the industry was more interested in molding him to suit the tastes of the moment than in exploring what he might really have to offer in his own right. One can understand why: Kia has an impressive, elastic vocal range, able to perform hushed ballads as eloquently as anthemic rockers.
As the powers that be tried to figure out how they wanted to present their find, Kia decided he would prefer to do it his own way. So he jettisoned the cadre of producers, mixers and constantly gear-shifting executives who surrounded him. He chose a tougher, more D.I.Y. approach to his fledgling career, touring relentlessly as a solo artist, opening for better-known acts. After meeting and working with bassist Toby Evers and Guitarist Simon Gibson, the trio began touring at an unrelenting pace, playing over 400 shows in less than two years. “It was on the road, in the crammed space of the tour van, that our new sound was formed and Buddahead was reinvented as a band”, says Gibson.
Their 2004 debut, Crossing The Invisible Line, showcased a prodigious talent with the vocal prowess of Thom Yorke and a band so skilled at arranging that it recalled vintage U2 or contemporary Coldplay. But these artful tracks barely hinted at the roiling emotions lying beneath their sleek surface and the truly dramatic stories Kia had yet to tell. Ashes changes all that. Surrounded by the darker musical influences of Gibson and Evers, Ashes are Kia’s stories as he wants to – has to – be heard. “Urgent but less desperate, Ashes is the amalgamation of a band that is growing up.”
Ashes has its origins in some of the darker moments of a few far-flung lives, yet these real-life scenarios connect in many tangible ways to our collective cultural and political history, and that makes them all the more powerful. In his lyrics, Kia doesn’t offer answers to the dilemmas he presents, yet in the very act of creating these songs, articulating these emotions, Kia makes Ashes an uplifting experience. His catharsis becomes our own. Gazing into the ashes of torched relationships, Kia discovers a spark of hope for us all.
Holding Me Back
Buddahead Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Left behind I'm always the last
I think it's time to let go of this fear
And try to find a way out of here
I've got to clear out my head from this mess
It brings me down and leaves me in stress
I think that with you I made a mistake
Were you scared to be closer to me
What did you fear
I let you near but you brought me down here
Don't you see how everything's holding me back
Don't you see now everything's holding me back
I've been hurt, I've been burnt, you could be helping me out
Don't you see now you're the one holding me back
You were the one who gave me reasons to try
The one who left me with anger inside
I heard your need for me had been replaced
From someone else when you lied to my face
Were you scared to be closer to me
What did you fear
I let you near but you brought me down here
Don't you see how everything's holding me back
Don't you see now everything's holding me back
I've been hurt, I've been burnt, you could be helping me out
Don't you see now you're the one holding me back
I just wish it all away
You just take a piece of me and keep running further
Will you ever go away
You don't really wanna stay even though you come closer to me
The lyrics of Buddahead's "Holding Me Back" describe the emotional turmoil of the singer. The song talks about how the singer is trying to move on from his past but is held back by his fears and insecurities. The singer is portrayed as someone who has been hurt and burnt in the past and needs help to get over the pain. However, the person who should be helping him is the one who is holding him back. Throughout the song, the singer questions the motivations and fears of the other person who is preventing him from moving on.
The first verse talks about how the singer is stuck in his past and is always the last one to move on. He recognizes that his fears are holding him back and is looking for a way out. The second verse talks about how the singer feels overwhelmed by the mess in his head and the stress it's causing him. He realizes that the person that he thought would help him is actually causing him more harm. The chorus talks about how everything is holding him back, including the person he thought was his support. He questions their motives and how they could help him but are choosing not to.
The third verse talks about how the person who was supposed to help him move on has become the reason for his conflicted emotions. The singer expresses the anger and hurt he feels because of the other person's actions. He questions their motivation and implies that they might have lied to him. The chorus repeats, emphasizing the singer's feeling of being held back. The last lines of the song indicate the singer's desire to let go of the pain and move on, but the other person keeps pulling him down.
Line by Line Meaning
I've been trying to walk out of my past
I've been attempting to move beyond my past experiences and mistakes
Left behind I'm always the last
I'm often left behind or forgotten, typically as a result of my struggles with moving on from my past
I think it's time to let go of this fear
I believe that I need to overcome my fear in order to move forward with my life
And try to find a way out of here
I need to identify a path that will allow me to depart from my current circumstances
I've got to clear out my head from this mess
I need to address the confusion and challenges that are impacting my mental state
It brings me down and leaves me in stress
The confusion and challenges have a negative impact on me that is causing me to feel anxious and distressed
I think that with you I made a mistake
I believe that my association with you was a poor decision
Now I'm motionless in empty space
As a result of my poor decision, I feel stagnant and directionless
Were you scared to be closer to me
Did you feel intimidated by the prospect of being emotionally intimate with me?
What did you fear
What were the specific reasons that dissuaded you from being closer to me?
I let you near but you brought me down here
I allowed you to become close to me, but ultimately your involvement in my life led to my current struggles
Don't you see how everything's holding me back
Can't you understand all of the different factors that are preventing me from achieving success and happiness?
I've been hurt, I've been burnt, you could be helping me out
I've suffered greatly in the past, and as someone who was close to me, you could have done more to alleviate my pain
Don't you see now you're the one holding me back
After reflecting on my circumstances, I now realize that your actions are a key contributor to my struggles
You were the one who gave me reasons to try
You were a motivating force in my life that led me to strive for success
The one who left me with anger inside
You were also responsible for creating negative emotions within me that continue to cause pain and frustration
I heard your need for me had been replaced
I became aware that you had moved on from our relationship and no longer needed my support or companionship
From someone else when you lied to my face
You were dishonest with me when discussing your involvement with someone else
I just wish it all away
I would do anything to escape my current situation and start anew
You just take a piece of me and keep running further
Your actions have contributed to my struggles, but you continue to push me away rather than help me
Will you ever go away
I'm uncertain whether you'll ever remove yourself from my life and stop hindering my progress
You don't really wanna stay even though you come closer to me
Despite your attempts to maintain closeness, I know that you are not committed to seeing me through my challenges and difficulties
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Michelle Rodriguez
dog and crew u guys have the best new upcoming artists. this song has to be one of the one that hits it all right....the change of someones's shame depression what DRUGS do to someone and there loved ones! dog,beth,duane lee,leland,BABY lisa. you guys are the family I never had. never miss an episode. I wish I had a family like yours. stick together-think-hunt down (working on the right side!) god bless u. whenever you need someone to do someone....i'm here beth..I can do anything.love you guys! greetings from Garfield nj
hazeone312
LOVE IT
ohnela
Heard this song years ago from a buddy... Still luv it!!!
Kinga Violetta
Cudowna nuta ;)
LAXED GAMING
Dope song
diehardcoyotesfan
this video is cool i can relate thanks for putting it up
Kym Ex Oldham
I was once a major Dog fan, but I'm not anymore. however, I still love this song, and I watch that part of that episode over and over again. so glad to find it here. thanks for making and posting it.
Julia Chestnut
@DisturbedDoor me too! they always have the greatest music on that show
james muffley jr
Just seen this episode again on wgn one of the best songs ever on dog i still listen to this love this song..Sept 2019
Kristin Cronshaw
First time hearing this song , it was great!!!!!!!