Ever So Clear
Bushwick Bill Lyrics

See, most of my life I never had shit
Throughout my life, I've experienced a lack of wealth and success.

I felt like an outcast, treated like a misfit
I always felt isolated and rejected, like I didn't belong.

Damn near didn't make it on my day of birth
There was a real possibility that I wouldn't survive the day I was born.

Thinking was I really supposed to be on this planet earth
I questioned if my existence on Earth was meant to be.

I take a deep breath, and then another follows
I try to focus and gather myself by taking deep breaths.

'cause hardship is kinda hard to swallow
It's difficult to accept and deal with the challenges and difficulties in life.

See, it's rough bein a loner
Being alone and lacking strong connections with others is tough.

Not knowin any given day and time I could wind up a goner
Living with the constant fear that any day could be my last.

See, people got it bad from jump street
People face difficult circumstances right from the beginning of their lives.

And bein short is just another strike against me
My short stature is seen as a disadvantage in addition to everything else.

I used to get funny looks 'cause I was small
People would give me strange looks because of my height.

And tryin to make it was like runnin through a brick wall
Striving for success often felt like an impossible and painful feat.

Given the odds I was up against, bro
Considering the unfavorable circumstances I faced,

The average nigga woulda quit a long time ago
Most people would have given up in my situation a while ago.

But now I've got a record out
Fortunately, I have successfully released an album.

I'm doin shows, people payin to see me turn it out
I am performing live shows, and fans are willing to pay to watch my performances.

Now I'm the spice around town
I have become popular and influential in the local music scene.

It's funny how an album can change a nigga's life around
It's surprising how the release of an album can significantly transform someone's life.

I got friends and bitches on my dick
I have attracted both friends and admirers who are sexually interested in me.

But when they look at Richard all they see is Bushwick
Despite having a personal identity as Richard, people only recognize me as Bushwick, my stage name.

Sometimes I don't know a friend from a foe
At times, it's difficult for me to distinguish between genuine friends and deceptive enemies.

And every different day it's a different fuckin hoe
Each day brings a new encounter with a promiscuous woman.

And now that my pockets are gettin bigger
As my wealth and financial status increase,

I'm meetin hoes who only want to juice a nigga
I encounter women who are solely interested in taking advantage of my wealth.

They tell me that they love me and all that
These women claim to love me and express affection towards me.

But really they just wait for me to fall flat
In reality, they are patiently waiting for me to fail and lose my wealth.

So they can get me for my income
They aim to exploit my financial resources and earnings.

Take me for all I got, and then some
They intend to deplete all my financial assets and take even more from me.

Like Trina, you dig
Similar to what happened with Trina, a specific example is given to illustrate the situation.

I fucked up and got too attached to the bitch's kid
I made a mistake of becoming emotionally invested in the child of the woman I was involved with.

Knowin that she used the baby to use me
I realized that she manipulated me by exploiting my affection for her child.

Took him out my life, mentally abusin me
She removed the child from my life, causing me emotional harm and torment.

But as the time went by I got another slimmy
Over time, I developed a new relationship with another woman.

And she was just like the first one screamin gimme
However, she displayed the same traits as the previous woman, always demanding and taking.

But not in the exact same way
Though similar, her approach and behavior were slightly different from the first woman.

She had a different type of game she liked to play
She had her unique manipulative tactics and strategies.

Her name was Crystal, she played the quiet type
This woman went by the name Crystal and intentionally presented herself as reserved and unassuming.

And for a little while shit seemed alright
Initially, things appeared to be going well in the relationship.

But just like the first hoe, homie
Similar to the previous woman, she eventually revealed her true nature.

When shit got hectic the bitch broke out on me
When the situation became difficult and challenging, she abandoned me.

And it's gettin outta hand, gee
The situation is becoming increasingly chaotic and uncontrollable.

'cause nobody seems to understand me
No one truly comprehends the struggles and difficulties I face.

Reminiscin got me feelin kinda low
Thinking about the past has caused me to feel down and melancholic.

I broke out the Ever-Clear and then I drunk some mo'
In response, I resorted to consuming Ever-Clear, an alcoholic beverage, to numb my emotions.

Until it was all gone
I continued drinking until all the alcohol had been consumed.

Now I'm lookin for somebody to take my pain out on
Feeling anguished, I seek someone to redirect my suffering towards.

But not just anybody, gee
I desire to inflict my pain upon a specific person, not just anyone.

I'ma take that on to Mica 'cause she's the closest to me
I choose to project my pain onto Mica because she is the person closest to me.

Full of that Ever-Clear and high on that buddah
Drunk on Ever-Clear and intoxicated from smoking marijuana,

Get to the house all I'm thinkin bout is shootin her
As I arrive at the house, my mind is consumed by thoughts of shooting her.

'cause shootin her would be sweet
I believe that killing her would bring me satisfaction and relief.

But you know what'd be sweeter? if I make her shootin me
However, it would be even more fulfilling if I could manipulate her into shooting me.

Call me crazy, but that's what I'm thinkin
You may consider me insane, but those are the thoughts occupying my mind.

I'm trippin from all that smokin weed and drinkin
My altered mental state, resulting from excessive drug and alcohol use, intensifies my irrational thoughts.

But I knew she wouldn't do it on her own, so I provoked her
Realizing she wouldn't willingly shoot me, I deliberately provoked her to take such action.

Punched her, kicked her, and chocked her
I physically assaulted her, striking and strangling her.

She still wouldn't grab the gun
Even after the abuse, she did not reach for the firearm.

And at that time I wasn't thinkin about no one
In that moment, I had no regard for anyone, not even myself.

Damn near crazy I went and grabbed the baby
I was driven to near madness and took hold of the baby.

Held him by the door and said i'ma throw his ass out, hoe
Threatening to harm the child, I held him near the door, addressing the woman with derogatory language.

She went to cryin, somebody stop him
She began crying, desperately hoping someone would intervene and prevent me from causing harm.

I said: you better grab the muthafuckin gun or i'ma drop him
I warned her that she must take the gun, or else I would harm the child.

She snatched the baby out of my hands
Reacting to the severity of the situation, she forcefully took the baby away from me.

We started fighting, punching, scratching, and biting
A violent altercation ensued between us, involving physical attacks and intense struggle.

When we fell on the bed, check this shit
As we fell onto the bed, something astonishing occurred.

All kinds of crazy shit was goin through my head
Various insane thoughts and ideas raced through my mind.

So I ran and got the gun and came back to her
In that frenzy, I retrieved the gun and returned to confront her.

Loaded it up and handed the gat to her
I loaded the gun and passed it to her.

I grabbed her hand and placed the gun to my eye muscle
Taking control, I secured her hand holding the gun against my eye socket.

She screamed stop and then we broke into another tussle
She cried out for me to cease, and we resumed our physical struggle.

Yo, durin the fight the gun went off quick
Suddenly, in the midst of the fight, the gun was discharged.

Damn! aw shit, I'm hit
In the chaos, I realized that I had been shot and wounded.

(Aw... my eye, I can't see
Experiencing pain and loss of vision due to the gunshot to my eye.

Why you shot me in the eye?
Questioning the motive for shooting me specifically in the eye.

I woulda shot you in the body
Expressing a desire to harm her physically as a response.

Why you shot me in the eye?)
Reiterating the confusion and shock about being shot specifically in the eye.

Ridin in the ambulance everything is hectic
Being transported in an ambulance, the situation is chaotic and overwhelming.

I can't get a grip, I just can't check this
Struggling to comprehend or accept what is happening.

Everybody's cryin, could it be I'm dyin
Witnessing the emotional distress of those around me, I contemplate the possibility of my impending death.

Bullet in my head, in the bed was lyin
Feeling the bullet lodged in my head, I remain lying on the bed.

Where's Mica? I want to tell her I love her
Seeking Mica's presence, I desire to express my love for her.

With an [ ] in my arm I took a picture for an album cover
Taking advantage of the situation, I had a photograph taken, considering its use as an album cover.

Goddamn, the shit's a trip, gee
Reflecting on the absurdity and surreal nature of the situation.

Five different doctors with needles tryin to stick me
Undergoing medical treatment, I encounter multiple doctors attempting to administer injections.

I hear my family hollerin he needs us
Hearing the desperate calls and concerns of my family, expressing their support and care.

Durin the confusion, man, I seen jesus
Amidst the confusion, I have a spiritual experience, perceiving the presence of Jesus.

My mom's on the phone long-distance from New York
Receiving a phone call from my mother who is located far away in New York.

Here comes the doctors again tryin to rip me apart
The doctors return, attempting to perform further medical procedures on me.

I got a monkey on my back, I can't shake it
Metaphorically describing the burden and addiction that I can't overcome.

I'm havin suicidal thoughts hopin that I don't make it
Experiencing thoughts of ending my own life, although I hope to survive.

But I'ma make it 'cause something's steady urgin me
Despite my struggles, I'm determined to survive as an inexplicable force continues to motivate me.

Five hours passed, I made it through surgery
After enduring five hours of surgery, I successfully survived.

And the doctor said I wouldn't make it through the night
Despite the doctor's belief that I wouldn't survive the night,

But god told me everything is gonna be alright
A sense of divine intervention assures me that everything will be fine.

And I'm glad that I'm here, gee
I feel grateful to be alive and present in this moment.

But it's fucked up I had to lose an eye to see shit clearly
However, it's unfortunate that I had to lose my eye in order to gain clarity and insight.

Aw man, I made it
Oh man, I successfully survived and emerged from the ordeal.

I made it
I made it through and survived.

And everyone gets to hear my story
Now, everyone has the opportunity to hear and learn from my life experiences.

I made it
I successfully survived and persevered.

But don't try this at your home
However, I urge you not to attempt or replicate my experiences in your own life.

Learn from my mistakes
Instead, take the opportunity to gain wisdom and understanding from the errors I've made.

Kick the beat in, Bido
Now, let's begin the musical composition, Bido.