One Time
C.N.ブルー Lyrics

Just give me one good time
I want to cry once and feel the full release of my emotions.

Nobody is looking at me anyway
I feel alone and unnoticed, so I want to cry without anyone judging me.

I know that I'm hardcore
I am confident in my strength and resilience.

Know how to start wars
I am capable of being confrontational and creating chaos.

Know how to scar yours in a fist fight
I can physically hurt someone in a fight.

Cause toughness is our floor
Being strong is at the core of who we are.

Warriors that bar nor
We are brave and don't back down from challenges.

But this one is far tore up on this night
But tonight, I am feeling emotionally overwhelmed and vulnerable.

Some people show it and then
Some people display their emotions outwardly.

Some people hide it
Some people keep their emotions inside.

But other people they do it whenever they get excited but me
Some people can cry easily, even when happy, but I cannot.

I can't even do it when the wrongs on mine
I struggle to cry even when something bad happens to me personally.

I'm saying, I've been trying to do it for a long long time
I have been attempting to cry and feel my emotions for a while now.

I get jealous when I see people do it and it's like fluid
I envy those who can cry easily and naturally.

I'm thinking: how can they swallow that when I can't even chew it
I wonder how people can express their emotions so well when I struggle to do so.

I guess God seen it fit to label me the consoler
I believe God has chosen me to be the one who comforts and supports others.

Bestowed upon a broken show and forever be the shoulder
I have been given the task to help others even when I am struggling myself.

My mission is plain to see
It is clear to me what my purpose is in life.

Its freaking insanity
It is a crazy and difficult task.

I'm wishing the pain in me would just leave me be why can't it be
I wish the emotional pain I feel would go away and leave me in peace.

Simple cause on the real, this one could die
I am so emotionally drained that I feel like a part of me could die.

So I'm asking God, before I go, just give me one good cry
I am praying to God to let me cry once and feel a little bit of release before I die.

If I could cry maybe one good time I could wash away all my pain
I believe that crying once could help me release my pain and feel better.

And maybe free my mind
Crying could help me clear my mind and feel less burdened.

After my shows it's a lonely road
After performing, I feel isolated and lonely on my journey.

So I sit up all by myself trying to cleanse my soul
In order to feel better, I try to process my emotions and heal my soul alone.

Why I got to be the one to cheer up people till they clear up
I question why I am always the one supporting others and helping them feel better.

When I sneeze I tear up
Even when I sneeze, I feel like crying.

And then I go look in a mirror
I look at myself in the mirror to see if I can make myself cry.

So I can see how it looks
I want to observe myself crying to understand the feeling better.

When I really wanna know how it feels
I want to experience the true feeling of crying.

When I'm hella down I try to push
When I am feeling low, I try to force myself to feel better.

No matter how hard no water spills for real
I have tried many times to cry but have not been successful.

My patience is soon to go
I am running out of patience with myself and my inability to cry.

Waiting for the balloon to blow
I am waiting for the emotional floodgates to open and for me to cry.

I'm thinking back to when I used to go to funerals
I remember attending funerals where I should have cried but did not.

No matter how close we were
Even if I was close to the deceased, I could not cry.

On the inside it ached "wow"
Internally, I was in pain and wanted to cry but could not.

Others be losing it
Other people would cry and express their emotions.

I'm just wishing I could break down
I just wish I could cry and release my emotions like others.

And I've been through a lot of them
I have experienced many situations where I should have cried but did not.

And there's not a one that went on and got it done
Despite the many opportunities to cry, I have never been successful.

No moisture that even try even to come
I cannot even produce tears during emotional moments.

And this ain't no chump thing, because I've had enough pain
This is not a trivial matter, because I have experienced a lot of pain.

Tears should be run-in like mustangs
Crying should be a natural and easy thing, but it is not for me.

Man it must rain
I wish I could cry like rain.

Been trying for years
I have been attempting to cry for a long time.

But the crying been inside
I have been keeping my emotions bottled up inside.

Nina been so serious there ain't no lying in his eyes
I am very honest and genuine about my feelings.

Makes me so furious
The fact that I cannot cry makes me angry.

When I look and I'm in genocide
When I see the pain and suffering of others, I feel like I should care more.

Please let me break down with the pain I felt when Brian Dennis died
I am praying for the chance to cry like I could not when Brian Dennis died.

I look at actors crying
When I see actors crying on TV, I envy their ability to show emotions.

It's as easy as fondue
Crying appears to be a simple and natural thing for them.

But what do you do when extreme hurt is upon you
When you are experiencing significant emotional pain, it is not easy to cry.

Real life ain't no movie homie
In real life, expressing emotions is not as simple as it is in movies.

And this ain't John Woo
This is not an action movie where emotions are exaggerated.

But I almost lost it on the ending of Jon Q
I almost cried at the powerful ending of a movie.

And I almost lost it when Jennifer Hudson blew
I almost cried when I heard Jennifer Hudson sing.

But I'm still waiting for that real emotion to come through
I am still waiting for my own real emotions to come out.

Then maybe I could get a cry God
If I am able to feel true emotions, maybe I can finally cry.

Been red for life for the first time ever me want blue
I have always been associated with the color red, but now I want the opposite - blue, the color of tears.

Give me the blues
I want to be able to cry like people who have the blues.

Sometimes I turn on the news and I look at all these feuds
Watching news about conflict and violence makes me feel like crying.

Then I try to make them ooze
I try to stimulate my own emotions and make myself cry.

(Don't cry, no teardrops from your eye poetry's music oh my almost made me tear up about thinking about my children, no lie)
Listening to emotional poetry about children almost made me cry.

Maybe I'm black-hearted
I worry that my lack of emotion makes me cold and uncaring.

You thinking damn he shady
Others may see me as untrustworthy or suspect due to my emotional blockage.

Saying man he crazy
My difficulty in expressing emotions may make people think I am mentally unstable.

For the way I abandon me lady
I left my girlfriend, which may make people question my ability to love and connect emotionally.

One day she can repay me
Perhaps someday my ex-girlfriend will do something that finally makes me cry.

Yes that woman can betray me
I am aware that my ex-girlfriend may hurt me and therefore make me cry.

Then I'll probably cry if not than I do it if I win me a Grammy maybe
If my ex-girlfriend does not make me cry, perhaps winning a Grammy will.