All I Ever Wanted
Calder Quartet Lyrics

I can only say these things to you while you're sleeping
I don't have the courage to tell you my true feelings when you're awake.

I hear the hum from the wires the sounds of the morning creepin'
I'm lying awake, alone with my thoughts, as the sounds of the new day begin to fill the air.

So I lie awake and pretend you can hear me
I imagine what I would say to you if I had the nerve to speak my mind.

Tell that you're scared of turning into your mother
I want you to confide in me your deepest fears about becoming like your mother.

I feel myself turn into my father
I'm afraid I'm becoming like my own father.

We could lie to each other like they do and say we're so happy
We could pretend that our problems don't exist and that we're happy like everyone else does.

It's easy when you're young and you still want it so badly
It's easy to deceive ourselves when we're young and we still believe in the things we want.

And I feel my heart pounding
I'm overwhelmed by emotions and my heart is racing.

And I think I might scream
I'm on the verge of losing control and screaming out my feelings.

I can tell you that you're all I ever wanted, dear
You're everything I've ever wished for in a partner.

And I can utter every word that you ever hoped to hear
I know what you need to hear to feel loved and accepted.

I shudder when I think that I might not be here forever, forever, forever
The thought of losing you terrifies me and I hope to be with you forever.

Tonight you whisper like a ghost and you look so shaken
You seem emotionally fragile and I'm worried about what's on your mind.

You're so quiet and small and you tell me you want to be taken
You're feeling vulnerable and you want me to comfort and protect you.

I just never think of you as the kind of girl that would say that
Your request surprises me because I don't usually think of you as someone who needs to be taken care of.

You suddenly seem like some faceless thing in my grasp
Your vulnerability makes me question whether I really know you and what you need from me.

Your eyes so wide, your face aglow
Your face shows a mix of emotions that I can't decipher.

It's the face of someone I don't know
I don't fully understand what's going on inside you and it makes me feel distant from you.

All I can think is that it must be a kind of rebellion
I can't imagine why you're acting this way, but I sense it's out of character for you.

To arm your fears like soldiers and slay them
Maybe you're trying to confront and conquer your fears by expressing them to me.

Thorough the din of your breathing while you're sleeping here
Even as you sleep, I'm still consumed with thoughts and feelings about you.

You wake and you ask me
You suddenly wake up and address me directly.

If I'm going to be here forever, forever, forever
You want to know if I'm committed to staying with you for a long time.

Your face so expressive
Your face displays a deep range of emotions.

And your eyes a lie
I realize that your eyes, which I once trusted, don't always tell the truth.

I wanna tell you I can change them
I wish I could solve all of your problems and help you feel better.

When you cry at night
I hate to see you in pain and wish I could always be there to comfort you.

But I'd be lying
I know that I can't fix everything and that sometimes you need to handle your own problems.

Love is defying
Love is complex and sometimes challenging, but we choose to stick together despite our struggles.