My Mother Is A Pornstar
Chill Bump Lyrics

I’ve been teased a few times but it’s been reasonable,
I have been teased a few times for having a mother who is a porn star, but the teasing has never gotten out of hand.

See it’s cool, she causes riots when she takes me to school.
Although my mother is a porn star, it's cool that she causes a lot of excitement when she takes me to school.

People drool when she’s walking past. Before class I always laugh,
People are amazed at my mother’s beauty when she walks by, and I always find it amusing.

As my friends’ divorced dads ask her for an autograph.
My friends' fathers, who are divorced, often ask my mother for an autograph because they think she is famous.

On the Streets, cats glance at each other, speak of her.
People on the streets take notice of my mother and talk about her.

Some even ask my mother to sign her dvd cover.
People even ask my mother to sign her DVD cover because they think she is famous.

Everybody knows her, every fella probably owns a poster of her if he’s aged twenty one and over.
Almost everyone knows my mother, and most grown men probably have a poster of her if they are over the age of 21.

The globe is heavy on her shoulders, she carries the weight.
Being a porn star is a heavy burden for my mother, but she is dealing with it.

Kids get carried away, I couldn’t care what they say.
Some kids talk badly about my mother, but I don't care what they say.

Cause I don’t want another mother, yeah, none can compare.
I don't want another mother because there is no one like her. She is the best for me.

She’s stunning, she’s rare, she’s cunning, she’s mum of the year.
My mother is stunning, rare, and cunning. She is the best mother anyone could ask for.

She puts men in a frenzy, the pretty woman women envy.
Men are attracted to my mother, and women are envious of her beauty.

She’s willing and caring with me, she’s witty and friendly, I really...
My mother is loving and caring towards me, she is also witty and friendly. I really love and appreciate her.

Love her cooking but you don’t know the half.
I really love my mother's cooking, but that's just one aspect of why I admire her so much.

You don’t know better than to fantasize about her ass…
You don't know any better than to fantasize about my mother's body, and that's disrespectful.

My Mother’s a Porn Star and so what?
My mother is a porn star, and I don't see anything wrong with that.

It didn’t change shit growing up.
My mother's profession didn't affect my upbringing in any negative way.

She knew how to raise her boy the right way,
My mother knew how to raise me in the right way, despite her profession.

So fuck whatever you may say…
I don't care what anyone else says about my mother's profession. It doesn't change how I feel about her.

My mother’s a star, she makes flicks for adults,
My mother is famous for creating adult films.

But don’t think she don’t love my dad. This isn’t a joke.
My mother loves my father despite her profession. This isn't a joke or something to be taken lightly.

We’ve got moral standards, we a normal family,
We have moral standards and are a normal family, despite my mother's profession.

Living happily… So fuck you and your porno fantasy.
We are living happily as a family, so I don't care about anyone else's fantasies about my mother's profession and what it might mean for us as a family.

She makes sex-tapes and yes, I know they’re X Rated,
My mother makes sex tapes, and I'm aware they are X-rated.

But she’s never had to be explicit and explain it to me.
My mother has never had to explain to me explicitly about what she does.

I don’t care if she’s got a wonderful booty!
I don't care if my mother has a great body. It's irrelevant to my love and respect for her.

What are you on? Truly? I’ve never wanted to watch one of her movies!
I have no interest in watching my mother's films, and I find it strange that anyone would.

My mummy ain’t some friggin’ filthy er,
My mother is not some dirty whore or anything like that.

But if we looked close at yours, I’m sure we’d fill a book up.
If we took a closer look at the lives of the people who criticize my mother, we could list many flaws too.

Mine puts money on the table, while your mother is unable
My mother is providing for our family with her profession, unlike other mothers who are unable to work or make ends meet.

To cope, nasal full of coke, no wonder you’re unstable.
Maybe your mother has to resort to drug use because of her inability to provide for her family, which is why you seem so unstable.

Make your silly jokes, huh, keep up the babbling!
Keep making your silly jokes and stop talking nonsense about my mother.

At least mine don’t creep around, sleeping with married men.
At least my mother isn't cheating on anyone or sleeping around with other people's husbands.

She may get nude on the cam, but won’t be fooled by a man.
My mother may expose her body on camera, but she won't be manipulated or fooled by anyone.

She’ll always do what she can to bring loot to her nuclear fam.
My mother will always do what she can to provide for her family and bring money home.

Yeah, Women judge each other with a look,
Women judge each other based on appearance and looks.

Men judge a colour and the cover of a book,
Men judge based on color and appearance too.

And I judge the judge that judges my mother.
I judge people who judge my mother without really knowing her or our family's situation.

Yeah, I’m a mother’s boy...
I am a mama's boy, and I am not afraid to show it.

So reconsider or go fuck yourself.
Think twice before you judge my mother, or go away if you can't understand and respect our family situation.

But don’t take it literally you dirty douchebag.
Don't take what I said literally or offensively, you rude person.

Back the fuck off my fam and let us live our normal life.
Leave my family alone and let us live our normal lives in peace.

I’ma get back to mine, I’ve gotta go kid. My mum is calling me.
I'm going to leave now and take care of things at home. My mother is calling me.

I’ve gotta do the washing up.
I have to do the dishes at home, just like any other child has chores to do.

Tera Patrick was over for dinner,
Tera Patrick, another famous porn star, has recently visited our home for dinner.

And I’m out. The cognac is waiting...
I am done with this conversation and am going to enjoy some cognac now.