P-O Svensson started the band as a hobby with Magnus Löfdahl. Johan Nilsson joined in March of 2001 and, in April, they came second at the "Quest for Fame" contest. They soon began recording their first EP, "Colony 5" (which was released at the beginning of 2002), but in August Magnus left the band.
Following the release of their first album, "Lifeline", Magnus Kalnins joined the band, soon after which they released their second single "Follow Your Heart" which contained three new songs not on the album.
2003 saw the single "Black" and their second album "Structures" released. Over the summer, C5 played at several large festivals and were nominated as "Best Newcomers" at the "Scandinavian Alternative Music Awards" (they came second). Sadly, Johan decided to leave the band in November.
Their output slowed during 2004/5 whilst they toured eastern Europe. A collection of singles called "Colonisation" was released in 2004 and Colony 5 again got nominated for a SAMA award, this time losing out to "Statemachine".
A new album, "Fixed", appeared in spring 2005. They were again nominated for SAMA awards, this time as "Best Band" and "Best Song" (for the single "Plastic World"). The latter of which they won.
December 2007 saw the release of the single "Knives", their first new material for some 18 months. The album "Buried Again" followed in February 2008. It was released by Memento Materia in Scandinavia, Infacted in Germany and ArtOfFact in the USA.
Their website is at: www.colony5.com
Suicidal
Colony 5 Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I'm finishing up and going to bed
Completely drained
My body is like a plant before the rain
No life sparks left
Suicidal, I'm crawling near the edge
Nothing seems nice anymore
I'm so fucked up
Suicidal that's what I am
I have no feelings left for life itself
My monotonous life will disappear
Bring down Jesus and let him slave me before my god
What have I done so wrong
I try to live my life the way I was taught
Come kick me hard
Kick me until I wake up
No life sparks left
Suicidal, I'm crawling near the edge
Nothing seems so right anymore
I'm so fucked up
So sorry for the world
Suicidal that's what I am
Suicidal that's what I am
I have no feelings left for life itself
My monotonous life will disappear
Bring down Jesus and let him slave me before my god
Suicidal that's what I am
Suicidal that's what I am
Suicidal that's what I am
Suicidal that's what I am
The lyrics to Colony 5's song Suicidal delve deep into the feelings of hopelessness and despair that often accompany depression. The lead singer describes himself as completely drained and devoid of any life spark, feeling suicidal and crawling near the edge. He expresses a complete lack of emotion towards life and seems almost resigned to its passing. The lines "Bring down Jesus and let him slave me before my god" suggest a desire for punishment and a belief that suicide may be seen as a sin or act of blasphemy by a higher power.
The second verse continues to delve into the character's struggles, asking what he has done so wrong and expressing frustration at the monotony of his life. He seems to be searching for some sort of catalyst to wake him up and give him purpose. However, he ultimately returns to the core of his pain, repeating that he is suicidal and apologizing to the world.
The repetition of the phrase "Suicidal that's what I am" drives home the point that the lead singer is feeling lost, hopeless, and desperate. The song serves as both an outlet for his pain and a call for help to those who may be listening.
Line by Line Meaning
It's late again
I have been working for a long time and am tired.
I'm finishing up and going to bed
I am done working for the day and am going to sleep.
Completely drained
I am exhausted and have no energy left.
My body is like a plant before the rain
I am in need of something to replenish me, like a plant needing water before a rainstorm.
No life sparks left
I feel like I have no more passion or will to live.
Suicidal, I'm crawling near the edge
I am on the brink of giving up on life entirely and could end up attempting suicide.
Nothing seems nice anymore
I am finding it difficult to find joy in anything.
I'm so fucked up
I am deeply troubled and struggling with personal demons.
So sorry for the world
I feel like a burden on those around me and regret adding to the world's problems.
I have no feelings left for life itself
I have become so numb to the world and its experiences that I no longer care about life.
My monotonous life will disappear
I hope that my boring, repetitive life will somehow change or end soon.
Bring down Jesus and let him slave me before my god
I am willing to give myself up completely to a higher power, even if it means being enslaved.
What have I done so wrong
I am struggling to understand what I have done to deserve the pain and suffering I am feeling.
I try to live my life the way I was taught
I am attempting to follow the rules and lessons I have been taught, but it does not seem to be working.
Come kick me hard
I am almost challenging the world to hurt me more and prove my beliefs about life correct.
Kick me until I wake up
I am hoping that the pain caused by being kicked will shock me into a new perspective or mindset.
Suicidal that's what I am
I am in a dark place mentally and have been struggling with suicidal thoughts.
Contributed by Caroline R. Suggest a correction in the comments below.