liar
Cryptic Wisdom Lyrics

There's a war inside of me that runs so deep (yeah)
I'm struggling with inner turmoil that is consuming me

And I don't know which side that I'm gonna feed (oh, no)
I'm unsure whether to listen to my positive or negative inner voice

I tried to be somebody good for you
I wanted to be a good person for you

For me, for them, it's true
And for myself and others as well

But I get so misunderstood
However, people often don't understand me

I lose my cool, when I get blue
And I struggle to maintain my composure when I'm feeling down

I start to bargain with angels
I try to make a deal with my better self

Devil won't leave me alone
But my negative inner voice won't stop talking to me

I noticed that you were stable
I realized that you are secure and grounded

He says to me as I go
My negative inner voice speaks to me

And I'm back right where I started from again
I'm stuck in the same cycle of negative thoughts and actions

It's the way I cope with pain and find my head
This is my way of dealing with emotional pain and regaining clarity of mind

I'm a liar and I'm angry, I'm so mad
I'm angry at myself for lying to others and myself about who I am

I'm a liar, I'm a liar
I can't seem to stop lying to myself and others

Locked up in the room, energy feels like a tomb
I feel trapped and suffocated in my own space

There's a knock at the door and I just can't answer
I'm unable to face the outside world, even when prompted

I'm lit and I don't wanna move
I'm under the influence and too lethargic to change anything

How much did I just consumed
I'm questioning how much I've taken

Cause I can't breathe and I can't see truth
I feel suffocated physically and emotionally, which is hindering my perception of reality

Am I gonna die? Am I gonna lose my mind?
I'm worried that my behavior will have long-term consequences on my wellbeing

If I keep this up undo
If I continue to behave this way, negative outcomes are inevitable

Is it your fault? Is it my fault?
I'm questioning who is responsible for my current state

Who do I blame when I can't think right?
I'm struggling to rationalize my own behavior and actions

Is it cause I can't find love and I'm too damn selfish
I'm wondering if my inability to find love is due to my own selfishness

And anyone close I fight
And I tend to push away anyone who gets too close to me

Am I that tight? That I'll see things go well
Am I so controlling that I can't let things go well?

And just wanna mess it up and take a bite
Do I have a self-destructive tendency to ruin good things?

All I really know right know is I can't find light
I'm struggling to find hope or positivity in my current emotional state

And rhymes are giving me... a fright
Even writing and expressing myself through music brings up fear and anxiety