Anti Life
Cult of Occult Lyrics

I want to get out!
Feeling trapped and desperate to escape.

Stop it now!
Begging for the situation to end.

Leave me alone! Alone!
Desperately needing solitude.

Get the fuck out of my life!
Feeling suffocated and wanting someone to leave.

I am trapped in this cage, crushing my fists on these four walls.
Feeling trapped and helpless, unable to escape.

I can′t see the light.
Feeling hopeless and unable to find a way out.

I can't find a door or any escape from this jail.
Succumbing to the feeling of imprisonment.

I am not alone; this is why I hate being here.
Being surrounded by people, but still feeling lonely and trapped.

Lost and... Lost and dead.
Feeling lost and hopeless, drained of life.

I′m alive but dead. Dead!
Feeling empty and hopeless, despite being alive.

You all are my torturers.
Feeling victimized and suffering at the hands of others.

Leave me or kill me.
Desperate for escape, even if it means death.

I've lost my mind.
Feeling an overwhelming sense of confusion and chaos.

Mentally and physically ill.
Suffering from both internal and external pain.

I want to run away from this this.
Desperately wanting to escape the current situation.

Or grab a gun. I cannot miss.
Contemplating violent means of escape.

There's nothing here that makes me free.
Feeling trapped and oppressed with no feeling of freedom.

Just pain and fear. We′re there us three.
Suffering with a sense of togetherness with the other two (unknown who they are).

Every night, full of drugs and liquor,
An endless cycle of substance abuse and addiction.

I see, floating above my bed, the Devil.
Experiencing hallucinations and vivid nightmares.

This woman in white dress, Satan Herself.
Personifying negative experiences, being drawn towards danger.

She's beautiful. She′s there for me. Translucent.
Finding attraction in terrible experiences, feeling consumed by them.

I'm in love with her.
Being infatuated with negative experiences and succumbing to them.

Rise from the depths.
Call to rise above negative experiences.

Hold me.
Seeking comfort and connection.

We are one now.
Feeling an intense connection to negative experiences.

We make love on charnel houses.
Finding pleasure in violent and destructive surroundings.

On the corpses of this world.
Displaying a disregard for human life and morality.

Reigning and killing.
Glorifying violence and destruction.

Together forever.
Feeling consumed and committed to negative experiences.

We′ll be all, eternal.
Believing that negative experiences will last forever.

Fucking and slaying.
Glorifying violent and destructive activities.

What's happening? I am dizzy.
Feeling out of touch with reality and experiencing confusion.

I can′t recognize your face.
Feeling disconnected from others.

You're not the one I love.
Experiencing disappointment and betrayal.

You've cheated on me.
Feeling victimized and betrayed by someone close.

I squeeze your throat with my hands.
Feeling an intense urge to hurt others.

You′re like all the others.
Feeling victimized and betrayed by numerous people.

I'll watch your eyes roll over.
Fantasizing about violent and destructive activities.

I'll be alone before dawn.
Expecting to be alone and abandoned again.

Once again.
Experiencing a cycle of abandonment.

I will remain forsaken.
Feeling perpetually alone and abandoned.

Those walls! Asylum! Asylum!
Feeling trapped and imprisoned in a psychiatric hospital.

Around me. Asylum! Asylum!
Feeling surrounded by other patients in a psychiatric hospital.

Where am I? I am mad. I am sick and twisted.
Experiencing confusion, sickness, and twisted emotions.

Help! The window's bars are for real. Real!
Experiencing intense feelings of imprisonment and captivity.

I can′t get out of it.
Feeling trapped and helpless to escape.

Drugs or medicine? Torturer? Protector?
Feeling unsure whether doctors and medications are helping or hurting.

I am confused. Blurry visions of truth and lie.
Experiencing confusion between reality and delusion.

Is reality fake or I am?
Questioning the validity of reality, possibly due to mental illness.

Punish me for impure thoughts I had.
Feeling guilty and ashamed of having negative, violent thoughts.

Or maybe you're just part of my sick mind...
Questioning the reality of those around them, feeling unsure of what's real.

Doubt. Self-hate.
Experiencing a cycle of self-doubt and self-hatred.

Chained to this bed. Asylum! Asylum!
Feeling trapped and imprisoned in a psychiatric hospital.

Chained to this life. Asylum! I won′t leave this asylum!
Feeling consumed and trapped in a life of mental illness, unwilling to leave it.

Lost.
Feeling lost and hopeless, unable to find a way out.

The monster is inside me. He lives.
Feeling consumed by negative emotions and impulses.

I'm the reason why everything sucks.
Feeling guilty and responsible for all negative experiences.

No hope. Nothing.
Feeling hopeless and directionless.

I ruined my own life. Coward!
Feeling responsible for one's own failures and mistakes, self-blaming.

I see myself as a miserable human living among ruins,
Feeling like life has been entirely wasted due to negative experiences.

As all of this was imposed to me when I'm the one guilty.
Feeling undeserving of negative experiences.

Fuck you and me.
Experiencing intense anger and blame towards others and oneself.

I will end my life when the sun rises.
Considering suicide as an escape from negative experiences.

The rope slips around my neck.
Fantasizing about violent and destructive activities towards oneself.

My feet sway above the floor.
Visualizing the act of suicide.

Mowed down with full force.
Visualizing violent and destructive activities.

The head smashed in the windshield.
Visualizing violent and destructive activities.

A gun on the temple.
Visualizing violent and destructive activities towards oneself.

My brain spatters the tiles.
Visualizing a violent and destructive act towards oneself.

I cut my wrist and watch the blood flows.
Visualizing self-harm and self-destructive behavior.

Every morning, the same images of me dying,
Experiencing recurring thoughts and nightmares about death.

As a never-ending movie turning in my head.
Experiencing intense and intrusive negative thoughts.

And this little voice saying DO IT!
Experiencing intrusive thoughts encouraging suicidal behavior.

You don′t deserve anything but violent death so, DO IT!
Experiencing intense self-hatred and suicidal ideation.