The Girlie Had A Mustache
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince Lyrics

I was.. cruisin down the avenue, early one Friday
I was driving down the street on a Friday.

When I saw what I thought was a lady walkin my way
I saw what I assumed was a woman.

I turned my back to ?????????????
This part of the lyrics is censored.

And I said, "Hm-hm, excuse me," and she walked past
I tried to get her attention by saying 'excuse me,' but she ignored me.

She was about 5'6", or maybe six and a half
She was approximately 5 feet and 6 inches tall or possibly taller.

With a body like a goddess, man, this girl was bad!
She had a beautiful body.

Tight leather pants that fit like a drum
She was wearing tight leather pants that hugged her figure tightly.

And two big - yeah well, she had some
She had a sizable bust.

Anyway from behind she was fine
She looked great from behind.

But when she turned around, her mustache was bigger than mine
But when she turned around, I saw that her mustache was larger than mine, indicating that she was actually a man in disguise.

At first I laughed, cause yo, to me that was funny
At first, I laughed because I found the situation humorous.

But the laughter ceased when she said: "Hey honey!"
I stopped laughing when she referred to me affectionately as 'honey.'

At first I was confused, I was somewhat spell-bound
I was initially bewildered and entranced by the situation.

My mouth wide open and my chin on the ground
I was shocked and speechless.

And then it hit me, like a bolt from the sky
Suddenly, I realized that the person I thought was a woman was actually a man in disguise.

I tried to get away, I said, "Well, never mind
I attempted to leave by saying I would see him/her later.

Maybe I'll see you some other time"
I suggested that we should meet again sometime in the future.

But then he grabbed me by my arm and told me I couldn't leave
He forcibly prevented me from leaving.

And said, "Hey boy, you look mighty cute in them jeans!"
He made a suggestive comment about my appearance.

This had to be the most embarrassing thing in the world
This was the most humiliating experience of my life.

My whole neighborhood was watchin me get beat up by a girl
My neighbors witnessed me being physically assaulted by someone I thought was a girl.

And when my homeboys came, they didn't let me explain
My friends did not give me the opportunity to tell them what happened.

They said, "Prince, you're a sucker, you should be ashamed"
My friends called me a foolish person and I felt embarrassed.

My pride was busted right along with my eye
The experience damaged my self-esteem and my physical appearance.

Cause my homeboys didn't realize that this girl was a guy
My friends did not know that the person I thought was a girl was actually a man.

And in retrospect I had to laugh
Looking back, the situation seemed funny.

I can't believe I didn't notice that this girlie had a mustache
I was surprised that I did not notice that the person I thought was a girl had a mustache, indicating that he was a man dressed in women's clothing.

I remember last year, the day was October 5th
I recall an incident that happened on October 5th of the previous year.

And my family went away on a weekend ski trip
My family was on a weekend skiing vacation at the time.

And they left $100 and a note by the phone
My family left a hundred dollars along with a note near the phone.

That said: 'Don't have any company till we get home'
The note warned me not to invite any friends to the house while they were away.

No company? I'm 18! They must be jokin!
I was amused by the fact that my parents expected me to abstain from having any friends over despite being 18 years old.

And by 10 my crib was smokin
I disregarded my parents' instructions and invited friends over to party.

All of my friends with their hands in the air
All of my friends were dancing with their hands raised in the air.

Screamin (PARTY OVER HERE, PARTY OVER THERE!)
They were shouting and having a great time.

The party was jammin till at least about 5
The party continued until around 5 in the morning.

And as my friends were leaving, they were like "Homes, it was live!"
As my friends departed, they complimented me on the party, calling it a great time.

I thought the party was over, but really was just beginnin
I believed that the party had ended, but it was actually just the beginning of another event.

I turned around I thought I was dreamin, I saw four women
I turned to find what I thought were four women standing behind me.

Dressed in red leather, tight to their booties
These people were wearing tight-fitting, red leather clothing that accentuated their curves.

I gestured with my index finger: come here, cuties
I motioned for them to come to me suggestively, calling them 'cuties.'

I tried to be chill, I didn't wanna scare em
I attempted to remain calm and not alarm them.

I said, "Hi, my name's the Prince," they said, "Hi Prince, we're your harem"
I introduced myself to them, and they responded by calling themselves my harem, suggesting that they were under my control.

I didn't waste time, I started shootin the gift
I immediately began to shower them with gifts.

I said, "Y'all the type of girls I'd like to spend some time with"
I told them that they were the type of people I would like to hang out with.

I walked upstairs, my adrenaline was pumpin
I went upstairs, feeling excited and energized.

Till one hit me in the head with a lamp or somethin
Suddenly, one of them hit me in the head with a lamp or some other object.

The next thing I remember is wakin up nearly dead
I recall regaining consciousness, feeling as if I were close to death.

With another Fred Flintstone lump on my head
I had another large bump on the top of my head, similar to the character Fred Flintstone.

Of course I was mad, this type of thing can burn at you
Naturally, I was angry; this type of experience can be incredibly frustrating.

They tied me up and they were stealin my furniture
They bound me and proceeded to steal my furniture.

I said, "Yo sweetheart, what's wrong with you?
I tried to reason with her, saying, 'sweetheart, what's wrong with you?'

What kind of stuff is this for a nice girl like you to do?"
I was wondering why someone who seemed like a nice person would do something like this.

She turned around and smiled and laughed
She turned to face me, giggled, and smiled.

And that's the way that I noticed that the girlie had a mustache
It was at this point that I realized the person I thought was a woman was actually a man in disguise.

Not four girls, four guys!
I realized that there were four men in disguise, not four women.

They were in disguise, it was a set up all the time
They were intentionally dressed in disguise and planning to rob me the entire time.

I made a complete fool of myself that day
I embarrassed myself greatly on that day.

My parents were pullin up just as the u-haul truck was pullin away
My parents arrived home just as the robbers were driving away in a U-Haul truck with my stolen furniture.

They walked in, looked like they seen a ghost
My parents were shocked and afraid when they entered the house.

There I was, gagged and bound and tied to the bed post
They discovered me tied up and bound to the bedpost.

My pop walked in and asked a brilliant question
My father walked in and asked a smart question.

"Son, where's the furniture and why is your room so messy?"
He asked where the furniture was and why my room was in a state of disarray.

Obviously Sherlock Holmes had been arrived
I made a sarcastic remark, comparing my father to the famous detective Sherlock Holmes.

I said, "What do you think, dad, maybe we were robbed?!"
I replied sarcastically, suggesting that maybe someone had robbed us.

"I'm tied up, nothing's in one piece
I explained that I was tied up and that nothing was intact or undamaged.

Let's discuss the facts later, mom, please call the police"
I asked my mother to call the police and said that we could sort out the details later.

I wanted to have a party, I thought I was clever
I had the idea to throw a party and thought it was a smart thing to do.

My pop told me I was on punishment forever!
My father punished me by grounding me indefinitely.

And in retrospect I had to laugh
In hindsight, I found the entire situation humorous.

I can't believe I didn't notice that the girlie had a mustache
I was surprised that I did not notice that the person I thought was a woman had a mustache, indicating that they were actually a man.