Black Bear
DJ L.A.M.C Lyrics

Me an' RJ an' the kids was on a camp-out in the mountains
The singer and his family were on a camping trip in the mountains.

and we had us one'a them you-Drive-'Em Army Jeep cars which we rented from a fella by the name of Kubozke for thirty bucks a day, buy your gas along the way, take a rabbit's foot and leave a pint of blood for a dee-posit.
The family rented a Jeep from a man named Kubozke for $30 a day and were instructed to buy their own gas, take a rabbit's foot, and leave a pint of blood as a deposit.

And he 'splained it all to us how we was supposed to get to Telluride, which is fifty miles away by way of the regular highway, however, there was a shortcut but unless we had drove the Black Bear Road before, we'd better be off to stay, stay in bed and sleep late.
Kubozke explained to the family how to get to Telluride, but cautioned them that the Black Bear Road was a shortcut they should avoid unless they had driven it before.

Well, we took up off'n the highway and we come upon a sign says "Black Bear Road. You don't have to be crazy to drive this road, but it helps."
The family saw a sign for Black Bear Road that read 'You don't have to be crazy to drive this road, but it helps.'

I says, "RJ, this must the shortcut road Kubozke was talkin' about." She didn't pay no mind, 'cause she was makin' peanut butter sandwiches for the kids in the back seat throwin' rocks and drinkin' cool-Aid and playin' count-the-license-plates.
The artist thought they were on the shortcut Kubozke mentioned, but RJ was busy making sandwiches and playing games with the kids in the backseat.

We went about a mile-and-a-half in about four hours, busted off the right front fender, tore a hole in the oil pan on a rock as big as a hall closet.
After driving for a mile and a half, the family had already experienced car damage, including a broken fender and a torn oil pan from a large rock.

So we had to stop and take off the top and air everything out and clean it up. The dog run off and RJ says she felt her asthma comin' on.
The family had to stop to remove the car's top and clean up after the dog got sick. RJ also felt like she was having an asthma attack.

I was sittin' there wonderin' what to do when the en-tire scenic San Joo-wan you-Drive-'Em Army Jeep car sank in the mud. At thirteen thousand feet above sea level.
While they were stopped, the Jeep got stuck in the mud at an elevation of 13,000 feet.

Well, we shoveled it out and ate our lunch, the dog made a yellow hole in the snow and Roy Gene got out his Instamatic and took a snapshot of it.
The family cleared the mud from the Jeep and had lunch, while the dog went to the bathroom and Roy Gene took a photo of it.

Mary Elizabeth drawed a picture of the road; it looked like a whole bunch a' Zs and Ws all strung together. And RJ took one look at it and said that the only way that Jeep car is goin' down that road is over her dead body.
Mary Elizabeth drew a picture of the road that looked twisting and complicated. RJ decided that she would rather die than to go down the road in the Jeep.

Then a rock slipped out from under the wheel and the you-Drive-'Em Army Jeep car went right over the edge of the cliff. Yahoo-oo-oo-oo!
The Jeep went over the edge of a cliff when a rock slipped out from under its wheel.

"Doggone-it, Roy Gene! How many times do I have to 'splain it to you? When I tell you to put a rock under the wheel, I mean rock! Now look at that, what you have there is no bigger'n a grapefruit."
The artist scolded Roy Gene for not using a big enough rock when attempting to stabilize the Jeep, using a grapefruit as an example of what not to use.