Eighteen
Daniels Gone Lyrics

I don't fucking want it
Expressing a strong dislike and lack of desire for something

Its a mystery how I made it this far and kept my stomach
Feeling surprised and confused about how I have managed to face difficult situations without losing my composure

Feel disgusted guess I'm used to all the shit that piles daily
Experiencing a sense of revulsion, indicating that I have become accustomed to dealing with constant problems and challenges

Grown immunity to such because don't nobody tries to save me
Developing a resistance to these problems as no one makes an effort to rescue or support me

And that's crazy
Expressing incredulity or astonishment at the situation

All I do is try to help out
My actions primarily focus on assisting others

Whether tryna make you smile
Whether it's attempting to bring joy to your face

Or I'm blowing out your self doubt
Or it's dispelling your lack of confidence

But no one does the same for me
However, no one reciprocates this support towards me

Treat me like a nuisance
Treating me as if I am an annoyance

Then you wonder why its paining me
And then you express surprise at why I am feeling hurt

To speak
To express my thoughts, feelings, or concerns

I've been paranoid all fucking week
Feeling extremely anxious and suspicious throughout the entire week

Like all the pressure in the world
Similar to having the weight of the entire world on my shoulders

Dragging me down pulling by feet
Causing me to feel overwhelmed and hindered in my progress

My legs are weak
My physical and emotional strength is diminished

Panicking panicking
Experiencing intense fear and anxiety

Hide away with that laugh again
Resorting to laughter as a way to conceal my true emotions and hide from the world

Start the phone call
Initiating a conversation over the phone

And put on a happy face don't get mad again
Presenting a cheerful demeanor and avoiding any expressions of anger or frustration

Why the fuck do this keep happening
Expressing frustration and confusion about why these negative experiences continue to occur

Stuttering I'm shaken up, my vision starts to blacken
Feeling anxious and unsettled, with my vision metaphorically fading or becoming obscured

Imagining shadow figures moving past my fucking eyes again
Having hallucinations or vivid images of dark, mysterious entities crossing my field of vision

Wonder why I'm sane, when all this shit is fucking maddening
Questioning my mental stability and how I manage to maintain sanity amidst overwhelming and distressing circumstances

As a kid you always wish that you were grown until you've done it
Reflecting on the common desire of children to grow up, but realizing that it's not always as ideal as imagined

And I don't even recognize myself
Feeling disconnected from my own identity and personality

Forgot the way I used to be
Having lost touch with my previous self and the characteristics I possessed

And now that time is out my hands
Feeling a lack of control or influence over the passing of time

A victim to the tv screen
Becoming trapped or controlled by excessive consumption of television and its influence

I really do not fucking want it
Strongly expressing that I genuinely do not desire this situation or experience

Saying I should be so proud of me
Receiving messages or opinions that I should feel great pride in myself

I got through all this rubbish
Acknowledging that I have managed to overcome various hardships and difficulties

But I ain't
However, I do not feel that sense of accomplishment or satisfaction

Never give myself a fucking break
Refusing to allow myself any respite or relief from the stresses and challenges I face

I'm waking up to all the torture that bring to my own brain
Realizing and becoming aware of the mental torment and anguish I inflict upon myself

And all the years of being
Considering the cumulative effect of years of

Put down, shot off, and fucking stepped on
Experiencing constant rejection, dismissal, and mistreatment

Culminating can't believe I let my fucking self down
Leading to a culmination of emotions as I struggle to accept that I have disappointed myself

Spite me for no reason
Feeling the resentment and animosity of others directed towards me without any justifiable cause

I'm still feeling like its my fault
Continuing to carry the burden of guilt and responsibility for these negative interactions

Still ain't face my demons
Continuing to avoid confronting and resolving my inner demons or personal struggles

They ain't answering the phone call
My inner demons or issues are not responding or providing any resolution when I attempt to address them

Then I get angry when I can't explain it
Feeling frustrated and agitated when I am unable to adequately articulate or make sense of my emotions or experiences

Thoughts are getting jumbled
Experiencing a disarray or confusion in my thoughts

As I try to speak, I'm too impatient
Feeling restless and lacking the patience to effectively communicate my thoughts and feelings

Hate the waiting
Feeling a strong aversion towards the act of waiting

Time it moves so fast these days, I keep complaining
Noting how swiftly time seems to pass in the present, frequently expressing my dissatisfaction with this rapid progression

Always changing, maybe things will lighten up if I keep patient
Recognizing the constant flux and unpredictability of life, and hoping that by remaining patient, circumstances will eventually improve

Didn't see myself making this plummet
Not anticipating or expecting such a significant decline or descent in my life

Dozen reasons why I shouldn't keep it up
Having many valid justifications for why I should not continue on this path

But I'm a puppet to my stomach
Feeling controlled and manipulated by my own desires and cravings

I'm surprised I made it this far
Expressing astonishment at my own ability to persevere and progress despite the challenges faced

Think I should be happy
Believing that I should experience a sense of contentment or satisfaction

More than ever I'm just pissed off
However, currently, I am primarily consumed by anger and frustration

I just need someone to talk to
Expressing the desire for someone who can provide a listening ear and emotional support

A distraction from the bullshit
A way to divert my attention and focus from the various problems and negativity

Someone to delay my tendencies to fucking end shit
Seeking someone who can help me postpone or deter my inclination towards self-destructive or harmful behavior