in the end...
Desolate Lyrics

I... see the same dream over and over again.
I experience a repetitive dream where I wait for someone by the waterfront for many years.

A dream in which I'm waiting for a person for so long.
In my dream, I wait for someone I've been expecting for an extended period.

I'm waiting for someone by a waterfront in the dark.
The dream scenario involves my waiting for this person near a water body precisely when it's dark.

Waiting and waiting, for so many years.
The dream stretches out for extended periods, forcing me always to anticipate this person's arrival for many years.

But then, I realize someone who's been staring at me.
However, at some point, I spot someone who had been watching me intently all along.

And I run, dragging my feet along,
Upon noticing this person finally, I run towards them hastily, slowly dragging my feet along with the urgency of the situation.

To the person who I think is my mother,
The person I assume to be the awaited individual is my mother.

Though I barely remember her.
Despite assuming the person's identity, I have the vaguest recollection of who she is.

But then when I look carefully,
On closer scrutiny and observation, however, things start to fall apart.

I realize it was just a reflection of myself in the water.
The realization sets in, that the person waiting for me was just a mere reflection of myself in the water, meaning I'm all by myself in this situation.

And then I feel so lonely...
The longing to find this person in my dream continues, and the disappointment and loneliness grow more profound upon realizing it was just a mere reflection of myself.

And I wake up.
The dream ends, and I wake up to the reality of the situation, all by myself.

In the end...
When all is said and done,

How did it come to this?
How did this despairing and lonely state of affairs come to be?

"I know a thing about contrition Cause I've got enough to spare"
I know how it feels to be remorseful because I've had too many regrets in life.

"Then the answer screams back at me Omae wa mō shinde iru Motherfucker Nani?"
At the height of my desperation, I get a response from somewhere, screaming back at me, with the phrase "Omae wa mō shinde iru," meaning you are already dead, followed by expletives.

3, 2, 1 Shine!
The countdown to shine, to put away the gloominess that engulfs the situation and attempt to rise above it all.

Now I seek the comfort in defeat
Upon accepting the circumstances, I now look for comfort in surrendering, despite the pain and sadness it evokes.

But it seems there's none left to find
Despite my searching, there's no comfort or solace to be found.

So I've lost sleep; become less than weak I've grown weary Weary of my mind
All the endless waiting and loneliness have taken a toll on me, causing me to lose sleep and mental strength, leaving me exhausted and fatigued.

What's the fucking point Since you're gone What's the point Of these fucking songs
Now that you're gone, I question the purpose of it all, especially the music I make, if it serves any reason or makes any sense.

God, are you listening? What's the point I'm still missing? What's the fucking point
I continue questioning my purpose in life and if there's a higher being listening, if any of it makes any sense at all.

Oh love, where've you been? You're nails deep in my skin But in the end I'm all alone again
Despite someone's love and nails in my skin, the feeling of loneliness lingers on, and I'm left all alone yet again.

When I spend my nights on the floor It's all I think about anymore Now when I spend my nights on the floor It's all I think about
The thoughts of loneliness keep me up at night, leaving me to ponder my purpose and the meaning of it all.

Lest the black drowns my eyes
The feeling of loneliness looms so large it risks blurring my vision and causing darkness to engulf me.

How much longer do I have to suffer?
I question the length of time the pain and loneliness will last, with no end in sight.

I still feel you
Despite the loneliness, I feel someone's presence, which I can't seem to shake off.

And I still wait For you to say...
Despite waiting for so long, I still wait for someone to say something and maybe end the loneliness.

The night air is getting harder to breathe And I miss the scent of your nicotine The silence is deafening; it's everything It's beckoning
The night air adds to the pain and loneliness, and I miss the smell of something they used to do or have around me. Everything about the situation reflects utter silence, and it calls to me, amplifying the feeling of loneliness.

I hope you found your peace
Despite everything, I hope the one I seek in my dream finds their peace.

Do you remember the dream you told me?
I wonder if the person in my dream remembers something they told me during our time together.

I hope you never feel alone again
I hope the person never experiences loneliness again, even though I'm still burdened by it.

I hope that dream's finally out of your head
I hope the dream that has tortured me finally leaves my headspace and sets me free from the feeling of eternal loneliness.