Formed in 1992 when Joe Espinoza and Karel Fiferna formerly of Anguish team… Read Full Bio ↴Formed in 1992 when Joe Espinoza and Karel Fiferna formerly of Anguish teamed up with Richard Bruce and Clayton Humphrey formerly of True Repentance. Much toil ensued, and after roughly a year a diabolical force was unleashed upon the leopard-skin-tight wearing denizens of On The Rocks. More shows followed and in early 1994 the intrepid foursome recorded a 2 song demo featuring "Mark of Death" and "The Dead Are Among Us". Later that year Mr. Humphrey departed the band. Around Thanksgiving of 1994 the remaining members entered Sound Logic Studios to record a 3 song demo featuring Unholy Manifestations, Dimensions of Reality, and Suicide. Released in 1995 this recording is by far their best known work, still garnering positive reviews a decade later. Differing opinions in band direction led to Mr. Bruce departing the band in late 1995. Joe and Karel went on to form the fantastically brutal Detrimental in mid-1996. In 1998 the 3-song demo was featured in full on the Christian Grind/Thrash compilation Chords of the Grave.

Suicide
Disencumbrance Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

Writhing in my head
Confusion arising
Suffocates my peace
Agonizing pain within my soul
Lucifer's evil seed
Possesses me
Fear creates in me thoughts
That I can't deny

What have I become
Suddenly the spirits intervene
Purist black, enticing
I can't resist
Spirit guides incarnate
Spawned from depths of hell
Vomit forth blasphemies
Empowered by their words
Promises become lies
Death claws into my soul
Laughter starts echoing
Questions racing through my mind
What's to become of my life
Envisioning the sacrifice of me
"With your hands we shall grant
Power to destroy righteousness
Entombed within your soul we dominate
Destines to kill
Struggles to obtain your weakened soul becomes obsolete"
Suffer my soul demons restrain
Realization of my mistake
As the hours pass visions keep haunting me
Tormenting my mind
Voices of the damned begin to shriek
I respond in anger
"I've been betrayed"
I'm thrown in a rage as I force these words out
"Forgive me Jesus"

Fallen to my knees in my despair
Weakened as I commit suicide

Overall Meaning

The song "Suicide" by Disencumbrance is a dark portrayal of a person who has succumbed to the devil's temptation and as a result, is plagued by confusion, pain, fear, and agony. The lyrics begin by describing the inner turmoil of the main character whose soul has been possessed by Lucifer's evil seed. The character's thoughts are distorted by fear and he feels helpless to deny them. He questions what he has become and suddenly, spirits intervene to entice him with promises of power and domination.

The lyrics continue to describe the character's descent into madness and evil as he vomits forth blasphemies and is empowered by the words of the spirit guides. The promises of power turn out to be lies and death claws into his soul. Laughter echoes as the character questions the fate of his life and envisions his own sacrifice. The offer to destroy righteousness and dominate his soul becomes too tempting to resist.

As the hours pass, the character realizes his mistake, and visions of torment begin to haunt him. Voices of the damned begin to shriek as he responds in anger, feeling betrayed by his own actions. In a moment of despair, he utters the words "Forgive me Jesus" before ultimately succumbing to suicide.

Line by Line Meaning

Writhing in my head
I am experiencing great mental distress and discomfort.

Confusion arising
I am becoming increasingly unclear and uncertain about my thoughts and feelings.

Suffocates my peace
This mental and emotional turmoil is overwhelming and causing me to lose my sense of tranquility.

Agonizing pain within my soul
I am experiencing intense emotional suffering that is affecting me at the core of my being.

Lucifer's evil seed
I am feeling as though I have been influenced by dark, negative forces that are leading me astray.

Possesses me
I feel as though these negative thoughts and feelings have taken control of me.

Fear creates in me thoughts
I am experiencing a great deal of fear and it is leading me to think in ways that are not rational or healthy.

That I can't deny
I am struggling to resist these thoughts and feelings despite their harmful nature.

What have I become
I am feeling a great deal of shame and regret for allowing myself to be consumed by these dark thoughts and feelings.

Suddenly the spirits intervene
I feel as though some sort of supernatural force is getting involved in my situation.

Purist black, enticing
This supernatural force appears to be alluring to me, despite its ominous nature.

I can't resist
I feel powerless to resist this force and am compelled to follow its lead.

Spirit guides incarnate
These supernatural forces are taking a tangible form and are guiding me towards a destructive path.

Spawned from depths of hell
These supernatural forces are originating from a place of pure depravity and darkness.

Vomit forth blasphemies
These forces are compelling me to say and do things that are blasphemous and undermine my values.

Empowered by their words
This supernatural force is giving me the impression that I am being imbued with power and agency by following its lead.

Promises become lies
This supernatural force has deceived me by promising me things that are not real or achievable.

Death claws into my soul
I am feeling as though the path I am on is leading me towards spiritual death and irreversible harm.

Laughter starts echoing
These supernatural forces appear to be mocking and deriding me for my poor choices and foolishness.

Questions racing through my mind
I am feeling a great deal of uncertainty and doubt, and am trying to understand what is happening to me.

What's to become of my life
I am questioning the value and meaning of my existence given how far I have strayed from my values and beliefs.

Envisioning the sacrifice of me
I am beginning to imagine a scenario in which I am compelled to give up something that I hold dear or valuable.

"With your hands we shall grant
These supernatural forces are encouraging me to act in ways that are destructive to the moral fabric of society.

Power to destroy righteousness
These supernatural forces are suggesting that I will be given the power to undermine and destroy all that is good and righteous in the world.

Entombed within your soul we dominate
These supernatural forces are telling me that they will always remain a part of me and will continue to dominate my life and choices.

Destines to kill
These supernatural forces are indicating that my ultimate destiny is destruction and demise.

Struggles to obtain your weakened soul becomes obsolete
These supernatural forces suggest that I have already been weakened and that my struggles to resist them are ultimately futile.

Suffer my soul demons restrain
I am praying and hoping that these supernatural forces will be held back and not dominate my soul.

Realization of my mistake
I am beginning to understand that the path I am on is not sustainable or healthy.

As the hours pass visions keep haunting me
I am feeling as though my past mistakes and bad decisions are coming back to haunt me and cause me distress.

Tormenting my mind
These feelings of guilt and shame are causing me a great deal of mental and emotional torment.

Voices of the damned begin to shriek
I am hearing voices or thoughts that are further compounding my negative feelings and making things worse.

I respond in anger
I am feeling a great deal of frustration and anger over my situation and am not sure what to do about it.

"I've been betrayed"
I am feeling as though someone or something has betrayed or deceived me in some way.

I'm thrown in a rage as I force these words out
I am feeling overwhelmed by my emotions and am expressing them in a forceful and intense way.

"Forgive me Jesus"
I am reaching out to a higher power for forgiveness and guidance in dealing with my situation.

Fallen to my knees in my despair
I am feeling a great deal of distress and hopelessness, and am struggling to stand on my own two feet.

Weakened as I commit suicide
I am feeling as though my only way out of my current state is to end my life, which will ultimately only make things worse.

Contributed by Kylie P. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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