F64
Ed Sheeran Lyrics

Yo Jam, this is a letter to you
Ed Sheeran is addressing his late friend, Jamal Edwards

It's been a while, but it's been hard for me to get in the booth
Sheeran has struggled to find the motivation to record music since Edwards' passing

And since we last spoke, I've become a father of two
Sheeran has had two children since he last spoke with Edwards

Trying to live life with a smile but that's been harder to do
Sheeran is struggling to find happiness after the loss of his friend

'Cause all I wanna do is talk about you
Sheeran feels the need to talk about Edwards and their friendship

But these tears won't let me talk about you
Emotions are getting in the way of Sheeran discussing Edwards

We should've known that we'd be lost without you
Edwards' absence has left a major void in Sheeran's life

Therapy sessions, digging deep in depression
Sheeran is seeking professional help to cope with his depression

I got a life full of blessings, but this just breaks my fucking heart
Sheeran acknowledges the positives in his life but is still heartbroken over the loss of Edwards

At your birthday, couldn't even crack a smile
Sheeran was unable to be happy at a celebration for Edwards' life

Headed to the mural, got some jerk wings and plantain
Sheeran went to a mural of Edwards and had some of his favorite foods in honor of him

'Cause that is the way that me and you would celebrate it
Eating those specific foods was a tradition between Sheeran and Edwards

I never knew you touched the stuff, 'cause you'd always bad me up
Sheeran was unaware that Edwards had used drugs, despite him often advising Sheeran not to

You saw me more than drunk, you always hated what it does
Edwards was against alcohol and saw Sheeran drunk more often than he would have liked

Before Lyra I just stopped, I haven't even wanted one
Since the birth of his daughter Lyra, Sheeran has stopped drinking altogether

I can't get over, this is fucked, man I wished I'd known
Sheeran is struggling to come to terms with Edwards' drug use and wishes he had known about it

And yo, we cried for nine nights in your family home
Sheeran and Edwards' family have mourned together for nine consecutive nights

Laid you to rest in the ground but without a stone
Edwards is buried without a headstone

You know it hits me most at moments, now when I'm alone
Sheeran feels the most pain when he is by himself

Every morning, I remember that you're really gone
Sheeran is reminded of Edwards' passing every day

'Cause it's been a long night and I cry 'cause I miss my brother
Sheeran is emotional because he misses Edwards

You know for life, got your sis and mother
Edwards' family still has Sheeran for support

And day and night, it still hits that you're gone
Sheeran is constantly reminded of the absence of Edwards

And right now, I'm spilling tears in my cup
Sheeran is crying and drinking at the moment

You left the world before you met Jupiter
Edwards passed away before Sheeran's daughter, Lyra, was born (Lyra is named after a constellation that includes Jupiter)

Wish you'd have known, you would be godfather
Sheeran wishes that Edwards could have been Lyra's godfather

You would've loved loving my little girls
Sheeran knows that Edwards would have loved his daughters

If not for them, I'd be done with the world
Sheeran's daughters help him find a reason to keep going

Was there two hours after you passed
Sheeran was with Edwards' family two hours after his passing

Speeding east to west, silent in the back of the car
Sheeran is being driven to Edwards' family's house

Was at your mum's, there all week, trying to make sense but I can't
Sheeran spent a week with Edwards' family but is still struggling to come to terms with his death

And although it's been a year, still feel the pain in my heart
A year has passed since Edwards' passing but Sheeran is still in pain

'Cause you were there from the start
Edwards was a part of Sheeran's life from the beginning of his career

The day we met, yeah I moved in and we were never apart
Sheeran and Edwards were close friends from the day they met

People assumed that we were lovers but we're brothers in arms
Despite rumors, Sheeran and Edwards were always just friends

Symbiotic bond of love and gave each other a chance, my god
Sheeran and Edwards had a strong and supportive friendship

Ah, fuck sake, lately I've been crying so much, my lungs ache
Sheeran has been crying a lot and as a result his throat and chest hurt

Teardrops all over my shirt like blood stains
Sheeran's shirt is soaked in tears

And I know to heal a heart, it must break
Sheeran knows that heartbreak is necessary for healing

But I'm done praying
Sheeran has stopped praying to cope with his grief

They gave me a shovel at your burial and
Sheeran was given a shovel to help bury Edwards

Watching you get lowered is something I can't forget at all
Sheeran can't forget the moment when Edwards' casket was lowered into the ground

And people find and stop me in the street and say it's terrible
Strangers offer condolences to Sheeran when they recognize him in public

But they don't know you like I knew you and they never will
Sheeran feels that nobody can understand Edwards like he did

No one saw the nights turn into day when we were battle rapping
Sheeran and Edwards spent countless hours freestyle rapping with each other

No one saw the belly laugh, and every train to somewhere random
Sheeran and Edwards shared many happy moments, including spontaneous train trips

No one saw the holidays, and then our first experience clubbing
Sheeran and Edwards celebrated holidays and went clubbing together

No one knew the things you did for me and never asked for nothing
Edwards did things for Sheeran without expecting anything in return

No one read the conversations of the moves that we were planning
Sheeran and Edwards had secret conversations about their future plans

No one knew about the way you felt the scene, left you abandoned
Edwards felt that the music industry had left him behind

No one knew about your fears 'cause you would hide them with a smile
Edwards hid his fears behind a cheerful demeanor

No one knew when people took an inch, you would give 'em a mile
Edwards was generous and would often go above and beyond for others

'Cause that was always Jamal, SB to the crowd
Edwards was known as SB by his fans and was always himself

They used to shout your net worth, but they don't mention it now
People used to focus on Edwards' wealth, but now they just remember his kind heart

They hear about your good deeds and infectious smile
Edwards is remembered for his positive impact and happy personality

A golden heart that's still remembered is worth more than a crown
Edwards' legacy of kindness is more valuable than any material wealth or status

I promised sixty-four bars and now I keep it to Tanisha
Sheeran had previously promised to write a song for Tanisha, Edwards' sister, and is now delivering on that promise

Mommy, Isaac, the gang, but I just wish that you'd seen it
Sheeran wishes that Edwards could see the love and support he still receives from his friends and family

I can't accept that you're gone, or the grief that I'm feeling
Sheeran is having a difficult time accepting Edwards' death and coping with his own grief

I prayed to God for answers but he still won't give me a reason
Sheeran has turned to religion for comfort but is still struggling to find answers

I think about you every day, nothing will take this pain away
Sheeran is consumed by thoughts of Edwards and knows that his pain may never go away

I'll keep your legacy amazing, mate
Sheeran promises to continue honoring Edwards' legacy

The conversations at your grave's the only way to be close
Sheeran feels closest to Edwards when he speaks to him at his grave

I know you'll greet me with a smile on the day that I go
Sheeran believes that he will be reunited with Edwards after he passes away