If Only
Ella Woolsey Lyrics

In Ella Woolsey's song "If Only," the lyrics tell a story of a toxic and painful relationship with a person named Ava. The singer expresses their deep hurt and longing for Ava to understand the pain she has caused them: "If only you knew, all that you put me through." The frustration is evident in the line "But you wouldn't even care if you knew" - indicating that Ava may not fully comprehend the extent of the singer's suffering.

The next paragraph delves into the addictive nature of Ava's presence, despite the knowledge that she is not good for the singer: "I know you're bad for me, but it's addictive, your sweet acidity." This line suggests that even though being with Ava causes harm, there is something irresistible or captivating about her, like a sweet but acidic taste. The singer wonders why Ava cannot reciprocate their feelings, expressing their desire for her attention: "Ava, why can't you want me?"

The third paragraph focuses on the singer's struggles with insecurity and comparing themselves to other girls in Ava's life: "I lie awake at night, thinking about why I might not be up to par with all the other girls livin' in your heart." It seems the singer believes they are not as important to Ava as these other girls, leading to feelings of inadequacy and heartbreak.

The final paragraph captures the pain of the breakup and the longing to move on: "You tore me apart, if only you knew, all that you put me through, Ava, how did you manage to spit me out so sad and blue?" Here, the singer acknowledges the immense emotional damage inflicted by Ava and expresses a desire to forget her. The repetition of "If only I could" suggests a longing to be free from the pain and memories associated with the relationship. The final line, "If only I could," remains unfinished, leaving the listener with a sense of unresolved longing and the possibility of healing in the future.