Somebody that I Used to Know
Elliott Smith/Elliot Smith Lyrics


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I had tender feelings that you made hard
But it's your heart, not mine, that's scarred
So when I go home, I'll be happy to go
You're just somebody that I used to know

You don't need my help anymore
It's all now to you, there ain't no before
Now that you're big enough to run your own show
You're just somebody that I used to know

I watched you deal in a dying day
And throw a living past away
So you can be sure that you're in control
You're just somebody that I used to know

I know you don't think you did me wrong
And I can't stay this mad for long




Keepin' a hold of what you just let go
You're just somebody that I used to know

Overall Meaning

In "Somebody That I Used To Know," Elliott Smith conveys the feelings of detachment and acceptance that come with letting go of someone who has hurt you. The song begins with the singer acknowledging that his former lover had made him feel vulnerable and exposed by rejecting his tender feelings. He then shifts the focus to the fact that while his heart may have been bruised, hers is scarred. This implies that the end of the relationship may have hurt her as well, even if she was the one who ended it.


As the song progresses, Smith emphasizes that the singer no longer holds any responsibility for his ex's well-being, as she is now capable of taking care of herself. He no longer feels obligated to help her, and the relationship now belongs fully to her. This realization leads him to accept that she is no longer a part of his life and that he is happy to let her go.


Smith also touches on his ex's self-destructive behavior, which may have contributed to the end of the relationship. He suggests that she is in control of her own destiny and that she has chosen to throw away a "living past" in favor of a "dying day." This phrasing seems to suggest that perhaps she is moving toward a future that will ultimately fail to sustain her.


In summary, "Somebody That I Used To Know" is a song about accepting the inevitable end of a relationship and moving on. The singer recognizes that he and his ex have grown apart and that she is no longer a part of his life. He acknowledges the pain that came with the breakup but ultimately finds peace in the knowledge that he has let go of someone who was no longer meant to be in his life.


Line by Line Meaning

I had tender feelings that you made hard
I was emotionally vulnerable towards you, but you made it tough for me to feel that way


But it's your heart, not mine, that's scarred
You may have hurt me, but ultimately it's you who has the most emotional damage


So when I go home, I'll be happy to go
Leaving you and this situation behind will bring me happiness


You're just somebody that I used to know
You are no longer a part of my life and I have moved on from our relationship


You don't need my help anymore
You are now independent and no longer require my assistance


It's all now to you, there ain't no before
You are in control of your life, and the past is no longer relevant


Now that you're big enough to run your own show
You have grown and developed enough to take charge of your own life


I watched you deal in a dying day
I saw you engage in destructive behavior


And throw a living past away
You let go of a positive past and focused on negative habits


So you can be sure that you're in control
You may have made poor decisions, but you did so in order to maintain your independence


I know you don't think you did me wrong
You may not recognize the harm you caused me


And I can't stay this mad for long
I cannot hold onto anger towards you forever


Keepin' a hold of what you just let go
I am holding onto my positive memories and letting go of any resentment towards you




Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: Steven Paul Smith

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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