“Setting up boundaries in order to show up for myself is a necessity for me, says EMELINE. “Once I realized that, I told my ex I didn’t deserve to be hurt in the ways that he hurt me, and then I went straight to the studio and wrote “this is how i learn to say no”. A few days later I uploaded the song to TikTok and experienced an outpouring of encouragement and understanding from people who felt seen in the lyrics and were empowered to set boundaries and heal in their own lives. I believe that it is my mission in life to be a healer, and music is the channel I use to do that.”
this is how i learn to say no
Emeline Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Done being sorry for wanting the things that I want
I broke my back carrying baggage
For strangers who only ever did me wrong
Was it more appeasing when I was just pleasing?
Look good on my knees
Sucks you're never gonna get me back again
When I got healthy, did that make you hate me?
And now, I'm never losing sleep, I'm over it
This is how I learn to say no
Take your pretty words and go choke
People talk shit say they're gonna get better
I hold my breath I can't hold it forever
This is how I learn to say no, oh
All of the butterflies turned into vicious lies
I'd rather be on my own
Tired of people being sad
Told my mom to leave my dad
Sometimes you just gotta go
Was it more appeasing when I was just pleasing?
Look good on my knees
Sucks you're never gonna get me back again
When I got healthy, did that make you hate me?
And now, I'm never losing sleep I'm over it
This is how I learn to say no
Take your pretty words and go choke
People talk shit say they're gonna get better
I hold my breath, I can't hold it forever
This is how I learn to say no, oh
"I think what we proved is that we are family
And no matter what we're always going to be a fuckin' family"
The lyrics to Emeline's song "this is how i learn to say no" express a sense of liberation and self-assertion. The singer declares that she is done with being sorry for wanting what she wants and is breaking free from the burdens of carrying emotional baggage for those who have hurt her in the past. The first line, "Fuck the apologies," shows a refusal to continue apologizing for her own desires and needs. She questions whether it was more acceptable for her to be a people-pleaser and submissive, and wonders if her newfound sense of self-respect and health have caused others to resent her. Despite this, the singer is resolute and aims to learn how to say "no" and set boundaries for herself.
In the second verse, the lyrics shift to reflect the singer's conviction that her newfound sense of independence is worth the sacrifices. She is tired of others being sad and chooses to prioritize her own needs over others'. The repeated line "This is how I learn to say no" serves as a mantra for the singer's newly-found strength and independence.
Line by Line Meaning
Fuck the apologies
I refuse to apologize for my desires and actions
Done being sorry for wanting the things that I want
I am tired of feeling guilty for pursuing my own goals
I broke my back carrying baggage
I exerted great effort to accommodate others who did not appreciate me
For strangers who only ever did me wrong
I wasted my time and energy on people who only hurt me
Was it more appeasing when I was just pleasing?
Did you prefer me when I was submissive and obedient?
Look good on my knees
I was willing to do anything to please you
Sucks you're never gonna get me back again
I am no longer interested in being controlled or manipulated
When I got healthy, did that make you hate me?
Did my personal growth and independence threaten you?
And now, I'm never losing sleep, I'm over it
I am no longer losing sleep over your opinions or actions
This is how I learn to say no
I am learning to assert my own needs and boundaries
Take your pretty words and go choke
Your empty promises and flattery no longer affect me
People talk shit say they're gonna get better
Others may criticize or belittle me, but I am determined to improve
I hold my breath I can't hold it forever
I am not invincible and cannot continue to tolerate mistreatment
All of the butterflies turned into vicious lies
My once hopeful and optimistic outlook has been transformed into cynicism and distrust
I'd rather be on my own
I prefer solitude and independence over unhealthy relationships
Tired of people being sad
I am weary of being burdened by other people's emotional problems
Told my mom to leave my dad
I took a stand to protect my own well-being and happiness
Sometimes you just gotta go
Sometimes it is necessary to leave behind toxic or unfulfilling relationships
"I think what we proved is that we are family
Despite our conflicts and differences, we are still connected by our shared history and experiences
And no matter what we're always going to be a fuckin' family"
Our familial bond is unbreakable, regardless of the challenges we face
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Written by: Emeline Easton, Orion Meshorer, Ana Yanez, David Schaeman
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Bells
---- Fuck the apologies
Done being sorry for wanting the things that I want
I broke my back carrying baggage
For strangers who only ever did me wrong
Was it more appeasing when I was just pleasing?
Look good on my knees
Sucks you're never gonna get me back again
When I got healthy, did that make you hate me?
And now, I'm never losing sleep, I'm over it
This is how I learn to say no
Take your pretty words and go choke
People talk shit say they're gonna get better
I hold my breath I can't hold it forever
This is how I learn to say no, oh
All of the butterflies turned into vicious lies
I'd rather be on my own
Tired of people being sad
Told my mom to leave my dad
Sometimes you just gotta go
Was it more appeasing when I was just pleasing?
Look good on my knees
Sucks you're never gonna get me back again
When I got healthy, did that make you hate me?
And now, I'm never losing sleep I'm over it
This is how I learn to say no
Take your pretty words and go choke
People talk shit say they're gonna get better
I hold my breath, I can't hold it forever
This is how I learn to say no, oh
"I think what we proved is that we are family
And no matter what we're always going to be a fuckin' family
Sing with me!
• Some Bunny To Love •
As a woman who is getting ready to leave her alcoholic abuser this song is everything to me. 8 years of abuse... 4 kids.. it’s never going to stop. He will never change.. this song gives me back my voice when I feel I have none. Thank you for creating something that I’m sure has helped many people.
Amanda Koenig
Praying you were able to get out. If not, I know you have the strength when you’re ready. 💪🏻
Natasha Heffner
Oh girl I know that all to well I left 2 yrs ago And went back thinking he was going to change after being forced to stop bc he was on house arrest he never changed I was cheated on thrown around treated like a dog. A month ago after I found I was pregnant with our fourth I said goodbye for good. my mental health is back
Natasha Heffner
Bad
Cassie Woldridge
You got this Mama!🖤
Victoria Alvarez
I just left my abusive alcoholic husband as well left with 7 children. And for once im not afraid
Heather Crowe
To create healthy boundaries, this song hits hard.
Mckaela P
For real
A Harry Potter Fan
222 likes
K Beasley
@A Harry Potter Fan p