Eminem has had a difficult relationship with his mother since childhood. In his music, Eminem has had a history of insulting his mother on various songs, including his debut single, "My Name Is", "Role Model", "Kill You", "My Mom", "Without Me", "Marshall Mathers", "Criminal", and most notably "Cleanin' Out My Closet. "Headlights" is an apology to his mother for the years of insults and "his plea for a united (or at least less dysfunctional) family." The title "Headlights" is a reference to their last meeting. As she drove away, he became fixated on the headlights of her car as he coped with feelings of "overwhelming sadness." He admits to his recklessness with lyrics directed towards his mom in the very first line, not really knowing his words would hurt her that much. In the song, Eminem references a few incidences from their rocky relationship, getting kicked out of the house on Christmas Eve, constant fighting, and his younger brother Nathan's removal to foster care. He also expresses regret that he has never let his mother be involved in his children's lives. In the song he acknowledges that his mother wrongfully endured the brunt of the blame for his tough upbringing and even gives her credit for her efforts to raise him as a single parent. Eminem admits that he remains estranged from his mother to this day. He also states that he cringes when he hears "Cleanin' Out My Closet" on the radio and he no longer performs it at shows.
In an interview with Sway Calloway, Eminem stated that, "everything he wanted to address" in regard to his mother is on "Headlights" and he likely will not speak on the topic outside of that particular song. He also told Zane Lowe that "It was one of those things that’s bothered me for a little bit. It was one of those things that I needed to get off my chest. So I don’t really have anything to elaborate or expand on that record other than everything that I needed to say, I put on that record."
"Headlights" was produced by Emile and Jeff Bhasker, with additional production by Eminem and additional keyboards by Luis Resto. The song was written by Eminem, Nate Ruess, Emile Haynie, Jeff Bhasker, and Luis Resto. Recording for the song was done at Effigy Studios in Ferndale, Michigan by Mike Strange, Joe Strange and Tony Campana. The song's intro, bridge, and refrain is sung by Fun.'s lead singer Nate Ruess,
"Headlights" was met with generally positive reviews from music critics. Julie Leconte of Now said: "The track's genius partially lies in the anticipatory tension it creates in the listener. Em loves to set us up with faux sentimentality, then laugh when we’re duped. But on 'Headlights' the shoe never drops, leaving us with really sad insight into their non-relationship. Colin McGuire of PopMatters said that the song "gives us quite possibly the most touching moment Em has ever put on wax".
DJ Booth stated that "even though the hook on 'Headlights', by Fun's Nate Ruess, is light and airy exactly where it should have been deep, the raw and crushingly emotional lyrics from Eminem, especially ones that put an end to his running feud with his mother, are more than powerful enough to make 'Headlights' remarkable". Andy Gill of The Independent also praised the track, calling it "an almost shockingly apologetic love-letter to the mother he once denigrated so viciously". Edna Gundersen of USA Today stated that "it's an admirable confession" but "a so-so track".
The music video was filmed in Detroit, Michigan on April 5, 2014, and directed by Academy Award winning film director Spike Lee. It was released on May 11, 2014, Mother's Day in the United States. The video takes a non-chronological look at the turbulent relationship from his mother's perspective.
Headlights
Eminem Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴
And though you say the days are happy
Why is the power off and I'm fucked up?
And mom, I know he's not around
But don't you place the blame on me
As you pour yourself another drink, yeah
I guess we are who we are
Maybe we took this too far
I went in headfirst, never thinkin' about who what I said hurt
In what verse, my mom probably got it the worst
The brunt of it, but as stubborn as we are, did I take it too far?
'Cleaning Out My Closet' and all them other songs
But regardless I don't hate you 'cause, ma
You're still beautiful to me, 'cause you're my mom
Though far be it from you to be calm
Our house was Vietnam, Desert Storm
And both of us put together can form an atomic bomb
Equivalent to chemical warfare
And forever we can drag this on and on
But agree to disagree
That gift from me up under the Christmas tree don't mean shit to me
You're kicking me out? It's fifteen degrees
And it's Christmas Eve, "Little prick, just leave"
Ma, let me grab my fucking coat
Anything to have each other's goats
Why we always at each others throats?
Especially when dad, he fucked us both
We're in the same fucking boat
You'd think that'd make us close (nope)
Further away it drove us, but together headlights shine
And car full of belongings, still got a ways to go
Back to grandma's house, it's straight up the road
And I was the man of the house, the oldest
So my shoulders carried the weight of the load
Then Nate got taken away by the state at eight years old
And that's when I realized you were sick and it wasn't fixable or changeable
And to this day we remained estranged, and I hate it though, but
I guess we are who we are
Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
Maybe we took this too far
'Cause to this day we remain estranged, and I hate it though
'Cause you ain't even get to witness your grandbabies grow
But I'm sorry, mama, for 'Cleaning Out My Closet', at the time I was angry
Rightfully? Maybe so, never meant that far to take it though
'Cause now I know it's not your fault, and I'm not making jokes
That song I no longer play at shows and I cringe every time it's on the radio
And I think of Nathan being placed in a home
And all the medicine you fed us
And how I just wanted you to taste your own, but
Now the medications taken over and your mental states deterioratin' slow
And I'm way too old to cry, that shit's painful though
But, ma, I forgive you, so does Nathan, yo
All you did, all you said, you did your best to raise us both
Foster care, that cross you bare, few may be as heavy as yours
But I love you Debbie Mathers, oh, what a tangled web we have 'cause
One thing I never asked was where the fuck my deadbeat dad was
Fuck it, I guess he had trouble keepin' up with every address
But I'da flipped every mattress, every rock and desert cactus
Owned a collection of maps, and followed my kids to the edge of the atlas
Someone ever moved them from me
That you coulda bet your asses
If I had to come down the chimney dressed as Santa, kidnap 'em
And although one has only met their grandma once
You pulled up in our drive one night as we were leaving to get some hamburgers
Me, her and Nate, we introduced you, hugged you
And as you left I had this overwhelming sadness come over me
As we pulled off to go our separate paths and
I saw your headlights as I looked back
And I'm mad I didn't get the chance to
Thank you for being my mom and my dad
So, mom, please accept this as a tribute, I wrote this on the jet
I guess I had to get this off my chest
I hope I get the chance to lay it 'fore I'm dead
The stewardess said to fasten my seatbelt, I guess we're crashin'
So if I'm not dreaming
I hope you get this message that I will always love you from afar
'Cause you're my mom
I guess we are who we are
Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
Maybe we took this too far
I want a new life (start over)
One without a cause (clean slate)
So I'm coming home tonight (yeah)
Well, no matter what the cost
And if the plane goes down
Or if the crew can't wake me up
Well, just know that I'm alright
I was not afraid to die
Oh, even if there's songs to sing
Well, my children will carry me
Just know that I'm alright
I was not afraid to die
Because I put my faith in my little girls
So I'll never say goodbye cruel world
Just know that I'm alright
I am not afraid to die
I guess we are who we are
Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
Maybe we took this too far
I want a new life
The song "Headlights" by Eminem is a heartfelt apology and tribute to his mother, Debbie Mathers, with whom he had a tumultuous relationship over the years. Eminem apologizes for the cruel and hurtful things he said about his mother in his earlier songs, particularly in "Cleaning Out My Closet." He regrets that his words hurt his mother deeply, and he takes responsibility for his actions. Eminem acknowledges that his mother did the best she could to raise him and his siblings, given the challenging circumstances they faced. He also expresses his sorrow that his mother was unable to see her grandkids grow up due to their estrangement.
The song is an emotional rollercoaster that starts with an expression of resentment and despair, but by the end, it turns into a message of love, forgiveness, and gratitude. Eminem revisits some of the most painful memories of his childhood, including his father's absence, his brother's removal from the family, and his mother's addiction and mental health issues. He admits that he has struggled with his own demons and that he has made mistakes along the way. He invites his mother to accept his apology and to recognize that he loves her and appreciates everything she has done for him.
In summary, "Headlights" is a powerful and moving song that showcases Eminem's poetic skills and emotional depth. The song is not only a tribute to his mother but also a testament to the transformative power of forgiveness and empathy. Eminem's willingness to confront his past and to own up to his mistakes is a lesson for all of us to follow.
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Written by: Emile Haynie, Nathaniel Joseph Ruess, Luis Edgardo Resto, Jeffrey Nath Bhasker, Marshall B. Mathers III
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@alessiodiaferio
LYRICS:
Mom, I know I let you down
And though you say the days are happy
Why is the power off and I'm fucked up?
And, mom, I know he's not around
But don't you place the blame on me
As you pour yourself another drink, yeah
I went in headfirst, never thinkin' about who, what I said hurt
In what verse, my mom probably got it the worst
The brunt of it, but as stubborn as we are, did I take it too far?
"Cleanin' Out My Closet" and all them other songs
But regardless, I don't hate you 'cause, Ma
You're still beautiful to me, 'cause you're my Ma
Though far be it from you to be calm
Our house was Vietnam, Desert Storm
And both of us put together could form an atomic bomb
Equivalent to chemical warfare
And forever we could drag this on and on
But agree to disagree, that gift for me
Up under the Christmas tree don't mean shit to me
You're kickin' me out? It's 15 degrees
And it's Christmas Eve, "Little prick, just leave"
Ma, let me grab my fucking coat
Anything to have each other's goats
Why we always at each other's throats?
Especially when Dad, he fucked us both
We're in the same fuckin' boat
You'd think that'd make us close (nope)
Further away it drove us, but together, headlights shine
And a car full of belongings, still got a ways to go
Back to grandma's house, it's straight up the road
And I was the man of the house, the oldest
So my shoulders carried the weight of the load
Then Nate got taken away by the state at eight years old
And that's when I realized you were sick
And it wasn't fixable or changeable
And to this day we remain estranged, and I hate it though, but
I guess we are who we are
Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
Maybe we took this too far
'Cause to this day we remain estranged, and I hate it though
'Cause you ain't even get to witness your grandbabies grow
But I'm sorry, momma, for "Cleanin' Out My Closet"
At the time I was angry, rightfully? Maybe so
Never meant that far to take it though
'Cause now I know it's not your fault, and I'm not makin' jokes
That song I no longer play at shows
And I cringe every time it's on the radio
And I think of Nathan being placed in a home
And all the medicine you fed us and
How I just wanted you to taste your own
But now the medication's takin' over
And your mental state's deterioratin' slow
And I'm way too old to cry, the shit is painful though
But, Ma, I forgive you, so does Nathan, yo
All you did, all you said, you did your best to raise us both
Foster care, that cross you bear, few may be as heavy as yours
But I love you, Debbie Mathers
Oh, what a tangled web we have 'cause
One thing I never asked was
Where the fuck my deadbeat dad was
Fuck it, I guess he had trouble keepin' up with every address
But I'da flipped every mattress, every rock and desert cactus
Owned a collection of maps
And followed my kids to the edge of the atlas
If someone ever moved 'em from me
That you coulda bet your asses
If I had to come down the chimney, dressed as Santa, kidnap 'em
And although one has only met their grandma once
You pulled up in our drive one night
As we were leavin' to get some hamburgers
Me, her and Nate, we introduced you, hugged you
And as you left I had this overwhelming sadness
Come over me as we pulled off to go our separate paths and
I saw your headlights as I looked back
And I'm mad I didn't get the chance to
Thank you for being my mom and my dad
So, mom, please accept this as a
Tribute, I wrote this on the jet, I guess I had to
Get this off my chest, I hope I get the chance to
Lay it 'fore I'm dead, the stewardess said to fasten
My seatbelt, I guess we're crashin'
So, if I'm not dreamin', I hope you get this message that
I will always love you from afar, 'cause you're my mom
I guess we are who we are
Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
Maybe we took this too far
I want a new life
@noobtv4325
This made me cry so hard first time i heard it.
When i was growing up all he spoke of her was about hating her venting about his pain
I was so proud of him for this and happy for them , knowing they probably made their peace after all these years .
Reminds me of my relationship with my father for a long time until we made our apologies
He truly deserves the peace .
@jessezamudio4625
Love you bro.
Sorry I haven’t wrote you back but I will tmrw, I have court this week and this song came on I’m way to old to cry this shit is painful bro. You got life and I wish I could of been there more but now all I can do is try to is thank you for always being there when I didn’t understand. I hope you get this messege that I will always love you from a far.
Love you John Zamudio.
Big bro
I know this is your favorite song….
@DAZNSPORT_
So much pain and love in one song. Beautiful song and great attitude, Eminem. Is never too late to forgive and be forgiven.
@shannonharris5173
i didn't know you liked Em, really like your videos tho
@shannonharris5173
Carl johnson HeilRJ03 is your idol?
@MATHEUSVASCAO94
Claude Harris Sure,EMIN3M too. Be answered by any of them could make me to fly.
@MATHEUSVASCAO94
sorry claude harris i was talking about heil and eminem, not you.
@shannonharris5173
da hell did that come from?, ofcourse i knew that but i was just surprised that a youtuber is your idol
@jordan4748
I usually don't cry too often because of songs but this song had me in tears several times. This is the power of Eminem.
@Plozzilla
Same
@RockstarLecter
Same💔
@senorjuevos9433
Listen to Ben Gibbard. If he sang Nate's part, you would cry all the tears you could possibly let out all at once.