Headlights
Eminem - stafaband.co Lyrics

Mom, I know I let you down
I acknowledge that I have disappointed you, Mom

And though you say the days are happy
Even though you claim that our days are filled with joy

Why is the power off and I'm fucked up?
Why are we experiencing a power outage and why am I struggling with personal issues?

And mom, I know he's not around
And I understand that he is not present in our lives

But don't you place the blame on me
However, please do not hold me responsible

As you pour yourself another drink, yeah
While you continue to drink, adding to your troubles

I guess we are who we are
I suppose we cannot change our true nature

Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
Continuing to move forward despite the darkness surrounding me

Maybe we took this too far
Perhaps we have gone too far in our actions

I went in headfirst, never thinkin' about who what I said hurt
I acted impulsively without considering the impact of my words on others

In what verse, my mom probably got it the worst
In my songs and lyrics, my mom likely endured the harshest criticism

The brunt of it, but as stubborn as we are, did I take it too far?
She bore the majority of the criticism, but did I push the limits too much?

'Cleaning Out My Closet' and all them other songs
Referring to my song 'Cleaning Out My Closet' and other similar tracks

But regardless I don't hate you 'cause, ma
Nevertheless, I do not hate you, Mom

You're still beautiful to me, 'cause you're my mom
You will always be beautiful to me because you are my mother

Though far be it from you to be calm
Although it is difficult for you to remain calm

Our house was Vietnam, Desert Storm
Our household was filled with conflict and chaos, resembling warzones

And both of us put together can form an atomic bomb
When we unite, our combined emotions can explode destructively

Equivalent to chemical warfare
Our conflicts are akin to a chemical war, causing harm to both of us

And forever we can drag this on and on
And we can prolong this contentious relationship indefinitely

But agree to disagree
Let's accept that we have different opinions and move forward

That gift from me up under the Christmas tree don't mean shit to me
The present I gave you for Christmas holds no sentimental value to me

You're kicking me out? It's fifteen degrees
Are you really evicting me? It's freezing cold outside

And it's Christmas Eve, 'Little prick, just leave'
And it's Christmas Eve, you're calling me names and telling me to leave

Ma, let me grab my fucking coat
Mom, allow me to get my coat before leaving

Anything to have each other's goats
Anything to annoy or provoke each other

Why we always at each others throats?
Why do we constantly argue and clash with each other?

Especially when dad, he fucked us both
Especially since our father caused harm to both of us

We're in the same fucking boat
We are in the same difficult situation

You'd think that'd make us close (nope)
One would assume that would bring us closer together, but it didn't

Further away it drove us, but together headlights shine
Instead, it pushed us further apart, but our headlights still illuminate the path ahead

And car full of belongings, still got a ways to go
Despite having a car full of possessions, we still have a long journey ahead

Back to grandma's house, it's straight up the road
Returning to our grandmother's house, which is nearby

And I was the man of the house, the oldest
I was the one who had to take charge and be responsible as the eldest

So my shoulders carried the weight of the load
I bore the burden and responsibility for the family

Then Nate got taken away by the state at eight years old
Then Nate (my brother) was removed from our custody by the government when he was eight years old

And that's when I realized you were sick and it wasn't fixable or changeable
That's when I understood that your illness was not something that could be easily cured or altered

And to this day we remained estranged, and I hate it though, but
And to this day, we are still distant from each other, and I despise it, but

'Cause to this day we remain estranged, and I hate it though
Because we are still disconnected, and I dislike it

'Cause you ain't even get to witness your grandbabies grow
Because you never had the chance to see your grandchildren grow up

But I'm sorry, mama, for 'Cleaning Out My Closet', at the time I was angry
But I apologize, Mom, for the song 'Cleaning Out My Closet', I was angry back then

Rightfully? Maybe so, never meant that far to take it though
Perhaps it was justified, but I never intended for it to escalate that much

'Cause now I know it's not your fault, and I'm not making jokes
Because I realize now that it's not your fault, and I'm not mocking you

That song I no longer play at shows and I cringe every time it's on the radio
I no longer perform that song at concerts, and it makes me cringe whenever I hear it on the radio

And I think of Nathan being placed in a home
And it reminds me of Nathan being put into a foster home

And all the medicine you fed us
And all the medication you gave us

And how I just wanted you to taste your own, but
And how I wished you could experience the effects of your own medication, but

Now the medications taken over and your mental states deterioratin' slow
Now the medications have taken control, and your mental state is gradually declining

And I'm way too old to cry, that shit's painful though
And I'm too old to cry, even though it's incredibly painful

But, ma, I forgive you, so does Nathan, yo
But, Mom, I forgive you, and so does Nathan

All you did, all you said, you did your best to raise us both
Everything you did and said, you did your best to raise both of us

Foster care, that cross you bare, few may be as heavy as yours
The burden of foster care that you carried, not many can comprehend its weight

But I love you Debbie Mathers, oh, what a tangled web we have 'cause
But I love you, Debbie Mathers, despite the complicated and difficult relationship we have

One thing I never asked was where the fuck my deadbeat dad was
One thing I never questioned was the whereabouts of my irresponsible father

Fuck it, I guess he had trouble keepin' up with every address
To hell with it, I suppose he struggled to remember every address

But I'da flipped every mattress, every rock and desert cactus
But I would have searched everywhere, even under every mattress, rock, and cactus in the desert

Owned a collection of maps, and followed my kids to the edge of the atlas
I would have owned an extensive collection of maps and followed my children to the farthest corners of the world

Someone ever moved them from me
If anyone ever separated them from me

That you coulda bet your asses
You could have bet your lives on it

If I had to come down the chimney dressed as Santa, kidnap 'em
If I had to disguise myself as Santa Claus and abduct them through the chimney

And although one has only met their grandma once
And even though one of them has only met their grandmother once

You pulled up in our drive one night as we were leaving to get some hamburgers
You arrived in our driveway one evening as we were about to go out to get hamburgers

Me, her and Nate, we introduced you, hugged you
Both me, my daughter, and Nate (my brother) introduced you and hugged you

And as you left I had this overwhelming sadness come over me
And as you departed, a great sadness engulfed me

As we pulled off to go our separate paths and
As we drove away in different directions

I saw your headlights as I looked back
I noticed your car's headlights as I glanced behind

And I'm mad I didn't get the chance to
And I'm upset that I didn't have the opportunity to

Thank you for being my mom and my dad
Express my gratitude for being both my mother and father

So, mom, please accept this as a tribute, I wrote this on the jet
So, Mom, please consider this as a tribute, as I wrote this while on a private plane

I guess I had to get this off my chest
I felt the need to express these thoughts and emotions

I hope I get the chance to lay it 'fore I'm dead
I hope I have the opportunity to share this with you before I die

The stewardess said to fasten my seatbelt, I guess we're crashin'
The flight attendant instructed me to buckle my seatbelt, implying that the plane might crash

So if I'm not dreaming
So, if I'm not dreaming

I hope you get this message that I will always love you from afar
I hope you receive this message that I will always love you, even from a distance

'Cause you're my mom
Because you're my mother

I want a new life
I desire a fresh start in life

One without a cause
One without a particular purpose or reason

So I'm coming home tonight
So, I'm returning home tonight

Well, no matter what the cost
Regardless of any sacrifices involved

And if the plane goes down
And if the plane crashes

Or if the crew can't wake me up
Or if the crew is unable to revive me

Well, just know that I'm alright
Just know that I am okay

I was not afraid to die
I was not scared of death

Oh, even if there's songs to sing
Even if there are songs left to be sung

Well, my children will carry me
My children will be the ones to continue my legacy

Just know that I'm alright
Just know that I am okay

I was not afraid to die
I was not scared of death

Because I put my faith in my little girls
Because I have faith in my daughters

So I'll never say goodbye cruel world
So, I won't bid farewell to this cruel world

Just know that I'm alright
Just know that I am okay

I am not afraid to die
I am not scared of death

I guess we are who we are
I suppose we cannot change our true nature

Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
Continuing to move forward despite the darkness surrounding me

Maybe we took this too far
Perhaps we have gone too far in our actions

I want a new life
I desire a fresh start in life