If Only
Evan Seurkamp Lyrics
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You have left me without light
There are dark things on your mind
You have walked around the bend
In the maze and it′s the end
I look back on days we left behind
If only you were by my side
If only to hold my hand
If only I could understand
Why don't you just spit it out
Why do you always p-p-p-pout
And why can′t you just m-make this easy
Can't you see you drag me down
You're the crushing depths that make me drown
The things you say, they leave me queasy
If only you would just say
Whether you′re here to go or to stay
If only you would take my hand
If only we could understand
You just fade in and out
You′re never at home when I call
This isn't you and if it is I don′t want no part of it
If only you could see
Just how distant you're making me
If only you could understand
I don′t want to hold your hand
If only you could understand
If only you could understand
If only you could understand
If only
In Evan Seurkamp's song "If Only," the artist laments about a relationship that is falling apart due to a communication breakdown. The singer is lying in bed, left in the dark by their partner's unreadable behavior. The verse describes the partner walking around the bend in the maze, marking the end of their relationship's journey. The singer looks back on the days they shared and longs for the warmth of their partner's touch. However, the chorus brings up a sense of frustration and confusion, as the partner won't spit out what's bothering them. The use of onomatopoeia "p-p-p-pout" emphasizes the singer's annoyance with their partner's childish, non-confrontational behavior. The singer's plea for clarity and certainty, "Whether you're here to go or to stay" goes unheard too. The second verse paints a picture of an unresponsive partner who fades in and out of the singer's presence at their will, leaving them feeling alone and distant. While the chorus repeats the sentiment of the first, the very last line of the song changes, as the singer is ready to let go of their toxic relationship. In a way, the lyrics of "If Only" convey a message of empowerment, where the singer understands when it's time to move on.
Line by Line Meaning
Lying in my bed at night
I am alone in the darkness of the night, thinking about you.
You have left me without light
You have taken away the light, the happiness and the joy that you brought into my life.
There are dark things on your mind
You have some deep, disturbing thoughts which are troubling you and you are not communicating them to me.
You have walked around the bend
You have crossed a line beyond which our relationship will never go back to how it was.
In the maze and it's the end
You are lost in a confusing world where our love has reached its end.
I look back on days we left behind
I am reminiscing about the happier times of our relationship and wish we could go back to them.
If only you were by my side
I wish you were here with me.
If only to take some time
I wish we could spend some time together, just the two of us.
If only to hold my hand
I wish you would hold my hand, show me affection and make me feel loved.
If only I could understand
I wish I could comprehend the reasons behind your unexplained behavior.
Why don't you just spit it out
Why don't you just express your true feelings and thoughts?
Why do you always p-p-p-pout
Why do you always act in a sulky and unpleasant manner?
And why can't you just m-make this easy
Why can't you make our relationship easy, smooth and happy?
Can't you see you drag me down
Your gloomy and negative attitude is bringing me down and I am unable to cope with it anymore.
You're the crushing depths that make me drown
You are the source of my emotional turmoil, pushing me into a state of despair.
The things you say, they leave me queasy
Your words are causing me unease, making me feel uncomfortable and uncertain about our future.
If only you would just say
I wish you would just tell me the truth about how you feel and what you want.
Whether you're here to go or to stay
I wish you would tell me whether you want to leave or stay in our relationship.
If only you would take my hand
I wish you would show me love and affection, and take my hand to hold.
If only we could understand
I wish we could understand each other better and communicate more openly.
You just fade in and out
You come and go unpredictably, leaving me in a state of constant confusion.
You're never at home when I call
You are always unreachable and unavailable when I need you the most.
This isn't you and if it is I don't want no part of it
The person you have become is not the same one I fell in love with, and I cannot accept this version of you.
If only you could see
I wish you could see how your behavior is affecting me and our relationship.
Just how distant you're making me
Your emotional distance and lack of communication is pushing me away.
If only you could understand
I wish you could see how much I am hurting and how much I need your love and support.
I don't want to hold your hand
I don't want to hold your hand if you don't love me back, if you don't understand what I am going through.
If only you could understand
I wish you would try to understand me, my feelings and my emotions.
If only you could understand
I wish you would make an effort to understand the reasons behind my actions and my behavior.
If only you could understand
I wish we could understand each other, communicate better and make our relationship work.
Writer(s): Evan Seurkamp
Contributed by Matthew A. Suggest a correction in the comments below.