Everything Happens to Me
George Shearing; Nat King Cole Lyrics

I make a date for golf,
Whenever I schedule a game of golf, you can guarantee that it will rain.

You can bet your life it rains.
I am so unlucky that it wouldn't be surprising if it rained every single time I planned an outdoor activity.

I try to give a party,
When I attempt to host a social gathering, something always goes wrong.

And the guy upstairs complains.
The neighbor who lives above me is never happy and always finds a reason to bother me when I am entertaining.

I guess I'll go through life,
It appears that misfortune will be my faithful companion as I journey through this life.

Just catchin' colds and missin' trains,
My life is full of minor inconveniences and disappointments, like catching a cold or missing a train.

Everything happens to me.
Without fail, I am always the one to experience events that cause frustration or inconvenience.

I never miss a thing,
No matter what I do, I always seem to be plagued by problems.

I've had measles and the mumps.
I've even contracted childhood diseases like the measles and the mumps.

And every time I play my ace,
Even when I am at my best, things don't seem to go my way.

My partner always trumps.
Someone else always comes out on top, not me.

I guess I'm just a fool,
I must be a fool to keep trying and expecting different results.

Who never looks before he jumps,
I dive into things headfirst, without taking the time to consider the possible consequences.

At first my heart thought,
I used to believe that love was the solution to all my problems.

You could break this jinx for me.
I hoped that being in love with someone would be enough to break my streak of bad luck.

That love would turn the trick,
I thought love would be the magic key to unlocking a happy life.

To end my despair.
I believed that finding someone to love would end the cycle of despair that I have been in for so long.

But now, I just can't fool,
Unfortunately, my common sense reminds me that this may not be the case.

This head that thinks for me.
The rational part of me is too skeptical to believe that any kind of love can solve my problems.

I've mortgaged all my castles in the air.
I've invested all my time and energy in daydreaming and unrealistic expectations, only to be disappointed.

I've telegraphed and called,
I've used every method possible to get in touch with the person I love.

I sent air mail special, too,
I even used expensive air mail services to make sure my message got through.

Your answer was goodbye,
Despite my efforts, the person I love said goodbye.

And there was even postage due.
To add insult to injury, I had to pay extra for the air mail service that delivered the bad news.

I fell in love just once,
I haven't had much luck in love but I did fall in love with someone once.

And then it had to be with you,
It had to be that the one person I fell in love with ended up being the same person who broke my heart.

Everything happens to me.
As always, I am still the one who suffers from bad luck and ill-timing.