On July 4th, 2006, Ryan released his debut solo ep, “California Summer.”
With headphones in hand, he followed 2006’s Van’s Warped Tour, selling 2,000 copies at 20 stopsacross the country. In mere months, he shared the stage with such acts as Butch Walker, The Matches, The Higher, Lydia, Better Than Ezra, Collective Soul, Anna Nalick, Howie Day, Never Heard of it, Jupiter Sunrise, Wheatus, Brandston, Melee, Brighten, Danger Radio, Mayday Parade, Sister Hazel, Ronnie Day, Secondhand Serenade, Meg and Dia, Daphne Loves Derby, The Bravery, Sugarcult, Waking Ashland, The Velvet Teen, Tesla, and many more. With the release of his second solo ep, “Counting the Days” in 2007, a second and more successful Van’s Warped Tour trip quickly followed, selling well over 2,000 cds at over 20 stops coast-to-coast. “Counting the Days” has found Ryan more attention than ever, earning his first single, titled, “Hey,” regular rotation on KWOD 106.5, one of Sacramento’s leading radio stations. Packing clubs around Sacramento, Ryan felt the urge to expand his one-man-act into a full, hard-hitting band, adding Los Angeles area band members Jimmy Marvich, Justin Ivey, Tyler Thompson, and Jake Harrison. The stellar addition of these musicans has taken the music to an exciting new level, earning them attention from major music labels, and showcasing for Atlantic, Downtown, and J Records, with more to come.
With soulful melodies, powerful, dead-on vocals, and lyrics so relatable
they will bring a person back in time to an experience similarly shared. Ryan brings beautiful, quirky music right down to earth.
If I can't Sleep
Gillmor Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
The same old tired face looking back at me
The glass is looking old, but the cabinet is new
One more night without a dream is what that'll do
Heavy eyes don't lie, I know everyone can tell
That my sences are spinning like a carousel
Wrestless 'till dawn's early light
If I can't sleep, if I can't sleep tonight
I'm wreckless, emotionless, falling in deep
If I can't sleep
A bottle of wine, a capsule or two
Can put my mind at ease 'till the night is through
But I don't need another crutch for my body to crave
I meander through my life one foot in the grave
Carry on my firends, I'll see you when I'm well
But for now I'll keep on dreaming in this prison cell
If I can't sleep, if I can't sleep tonight
Wrestless 'till dawn's early light
If I can't sleep, if I can't sleep tonight
I'm wreckless, emotionless, falling in deep
If I can't sleep
Here I lie awake, with a mind that won't break
Every night I turn out the light and pray for my soul to take
Oh God, give me a break my brain, heart and body ache
I don't think I can go on living this way
If I can't sleep, if I can't sleep tonight
Wrestless 'till dawn's early light
If I can't sleep, if I can't sleep tonight
I'm wreckless, emotionless, falling in deep
If I can't sleep
The lyrics of Gillmor's song "If I Can't Sleep" reveal a sense of restlessness and desperation due to the singer's inability to sleep. The song starts with the singer waking up to see the same old tired face looking back at him, indicating a lack of fulfillment, motivation, and energy. The glass is looking old, but the cabinet is new, meaning that what's on the outside doesn't reflect what's on the inside. The singer feels old and tired on the outside but is still searching for something new and exciting on the inside.
The second stanza shows the singer's struggle to keep his senses from spinning out of control like a carousel. He is aware that his heavy eyes don't lie, but he keeps going in circles, unable to find a way out of his current situation.
The chorus highlights the desperation of the singer's fear of not being able to sleep. He is restless until dawn's early light, reckless and emotionless, and is falling into a deep hole. It shows the singer's hopelessness and frustration at not being able to find a solution to his problem.
The third stanza shows the singer's dependence on potentially harmful substances like wine and capsules to find relief. However, he knows that this is a temporary solution and that using it would only create a new addiction, leaving him with one foot in the grave.
In the fourth stanza, the singer asks for God's help and a break from his aches and struggles with his body, heart, and brain. Gillmor's "If I Can't Sleep" is a song about a person struggling to find balance in their life and regain control over their situation.
Line by Line Meaning
Everyday I wake up and see
I wake up every day to face the same reality that I have been before.
The same old tired face looking back at me
I am tired of seeing the same tired face in the mirror every day.
The glass is looking old, but the cabinet is new
Although the outside appearance of things may change, the internal feeling remains the same.
One more night without a dream is what that'll do
Just another night of not being able to dream will have a negative impact.
Heavy eyes don't lie, I know everyone can tell
My eyes show the exhaustion I feel and people can notice it.
That my sences are spinning like a carousel
My senses are moving around so much that it feels like a carousel; I am not able to relax.
If I can't sleep, if I can't sleep tonight
If I can't fall asleep tonight,
Wrestless 'till dawn's early light
I will be restless until the early morning's light.
If I can't sleep, if I can't sleep tonight
If I can't fall asleep tonight,
I'm wreckless, emotionless, falling in deep
I start to lose control of my emotions and am heading down into a deep, dark place.
A bottle of wine, a capsule or two
Drinking wine or taking medication can help me get through the night.
Can put my mind at ease 'till the night is through
It helps me relax until the morning.
But I don't need another crutch for my body to crave
I don't want to rely on medication to fall asleep long-term.
I meander through my life one foot in the grave
I am going through life feeling like I am barely hanging on.
Carry on my firends, I'll see you when I'm well
I am telling my friends to keep going without me while I try to improve my situation.
But for now I'll keep on dreaming in this prison cell
I will continue to dream while feeling trapped in my situation.
Here I lie awake, with a mind that won't break
I am laying here awake with thoughts that won't go away.
Every night I turn out the light and pray for my soul to take
I use the act of turning off the light as a signal to pray for my soul to be taken away.
Oh God, give me a break my brain, heart and body ache
I am pleading with God to give me a break as my brain, heart, and body are all in pain.
I don't think I can go on living this way
I feel like I cannot continue living in this state.
Contributed by Skyler C. Suggest a correction in the comments below.