Hawthorne Heights developed a huge MySpace following that became a catalyst that would launch them from underground to international awareness. The band became regulars on MTV, their signature hit Ohio Is For Lovers the anthem for the new wave of “emo”. Their debut album The Silence In Black And White soon went Gold, and with their second album If Only You Were Lonely, the band scored Victory Records’ biggest ever debut, landing at #3 on the Billboard 200 in 2006. The band appeared on Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel, and became magazine cover stars, sending sales of The Silence… to Platinum status.
In November 2007, whilst in the midst of legal disputes, tragedy struck within the Hawthorne Heights family. Casey Calvert, the much loved guitarist and resident “screamer” of the band, lost his life while on tour, due to an accidental overdose of medications prescribed by his doctor and dentist, which proved to be lethal combination. The effects on the band were evident, both personally and musically.
On August 5 2008, Hawthorne Heights return with Fragile Future, a brand new album. Although the sound is still distinctly Hawthorne Heights, the music, as with the band, has understandably evolved.
“After spending the last 2 years in a deep dark place, we decided to try to find the bright lights again with Fragile Future,” noted singer J.T. Woodruff. “We, as a band, noticed that everyone has tremendous ups and downs, so we wanted this record to communicate that. We chose the title Fragile Future, because it sums up the current state of our band, as well as what is going on in the outside world. We must all make good choices to create a better situation in our lives.”
"With the loss of Casey, and no plans to replace him, we've had to make some obvious changes to our sound on this record,” added drummer Eron Bucciarelli. “Originally there were less screams planned for this record than the second one, but sadly we never got the chance to do even that. This forced us to take a creative approach to certain songs. We've beefed up the guitars in parts, added gang vocals, choirs and all sorts of effects to still capture some of the energy that Casey brought.”
Current Members
JT Woodruff: Vocals/Guitar
Mark McMillon: Guitar
Chris Popadak: Drums
Matt Ridenour: Bass
Previous Members:
Casey Calvert(deceased): Guitar/Backup Vocals
Eron Buciarelli: Drums
Micah Carli: Guitar
For more information, visit: http://www.hawthorneheights.com
Here I Am
Hawthorne Heights Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I'm not sure if I care
There's always something standing in my way
As they stop as they stop and stare
Stop dragging my life around Whadh
Stop talking behind my back
Whadh
I lost myself again today
And I don't care
Here I am
Listen to me now
Here I stand
I won't let you tear me down
I don't wanna live so far underground
So here I am and you're on your own
I fought the world and lost today
I need a place to call my own
I met myself along the way
I found the road that takes me home
Here I am
List to me Now
Here I stand
I won't let you tear me down
I don't wanna live so far underground
I know I'm lost and can't be found
So here I am and now you're on your own
Where is the life you said I had so far in front of me
I lost my way when you said I could be anything
Here I am and I'm still waiting
Here I am until you let me go
The opening line of the song, "I lost myself again today, I'm not sure if I care," introduces a theme of feeling lost and disconnected from oneself. The lyrics also express frustration with the obstacles and judgement faced from others. The repetition of "Here I am," serves as a declaration of self-identity and a refusal to be torn down.
The lines, "I fought the world and lost today, I need a place to call my own," suggest a struggle against the pressures and expectations of society. The search for a sense of belonging is also conveyed through the line "I found the road that takes me home." The final lines, "Where is the life you said I had so far in front of me, I lost my way when you said I could be anything, here I am and I'm still waiting, here I am until you let me go," further emphasize a feeling of being let down and deceived by promises of a bright future.
Line by Line Meaning
I lost myself again today
I feel like I am losing who I am and becoming someone I don't recognize.
I'm not sure if I care
I am not sure if I care about anything anymore, I feel numb.
There's always something standing in my way
I feel like every time I try to move forward, something holds me back from achieving my goals.
Stop dragging my life around Whadh
I want people to stop interfering and controlling my decisions and life.
Stop talking behind my back Whadh
I don't want people to talk negatively about me behind my back and spread rumors.
And I don't care
I am indifferent towards everything that's happening to me, I don't feel anything.
Here I am
I am present and ready to be heard by others.
Listen to me now
I want others to pay attention to what I have to say and respect my opinions.
Here I stand
I am standing up for myself and what I believe in.
I won't let you tear me down
I won't let negative people or situations bring me down or make me feel small.
I don't wanna live so far underground
I don't want to live a life where I feel invisible or insignificant.
I know I'm lost and can't be found
I feel lost and can't see a way out of this situation, I am struggling to find myself again.
So here I am and now you're on your own
I have done what I can, now it's up to others to take responsibility for their own actions.
I fought the world and lost today
I tried to fight against the difficulties and challenges I am facing but I failed.
I need a place to call my own
I need to have my own space and a sense of belonging.
I met myself along the way
I have learned more about myself and my identity through my struggles and experiences.
I found the road that takes me home
I have finally found the path that leads me towards a sense of fulfillment and happiness.
Where is the life you said I had so far in front of me
I had expectations for my life and am disappointed that they haven't been met.
I lost my way when you said I could be anything
I was given unrealistic expectations and now feel lost and directionless.
Here I am and I'm still waiting
I am waiting for something to change or for an opportunity to come my way.
Here I am until you let me go
I will keep persisting and fighting until I am allowed to leave this difficult situation behind.
Contributed by Elizabeth L. Suggest a correction in the comments below.