Heather Nicole
Hopsin Lyrics

At night in my window I see a silhouette
The singer sees a shadow in his window at night.

Crying heavy tears look how wet my pillow gets
The singer is emotional and cries a lot at night.

Throughout my days I don't smile I just get upset
The singer is unhappy all day and doesn't feel like smiling.

And since you left look at all the shit that it affects
The artist is dealing with the aftermath of someone leaving him.

I take a picture of your face and I just hold it up
The artist holds a picture of the person who left him.

Kiss it, then reminisce on when it was both of us
The singer thinks back to better times with the person in the picture.

It's hard for me to open up, I'm always talking to myself
The singer has difficulty expressing himself to others.

But to nobody else
The artist keeps his thoughts to himself.

Some say that church or maybe counseling could probably help
Others suggest that the artist seek help from a church or therapist.

But they don't know about all of my idiotic lies
The artist has lied in the past and is ashamed of it.

All the fucking times I left you traumatized
The singer recognizes that he has caused someone trauma before.

Swore up and down to you saying I'm a try
The artist promised to try and make things better.

And never did, I try not to cry but I feel bad I didn't apologize
The singer feels guilty for not following through on his promises and wishes he had apologized.

It's time I cough it up and tell more, my soul is taken never sell yours
The singer is ready to confess and be honest, and encourages others to not compromise their integrity.

I did some shit I probably coulda been in jail for
The singer acknowledges that he has done something that could have landed him in jail.

Bury me deep inside hells core
The artist feels like he deserves punishment for his actions.

And don't let me out until you hear bells roar
The artist wants to be punished for his wrongs until he has fully paid for them.

She said, you never loved me
The person who left the singer believes he never loved her.

You just controlled me
The person who left the singer believed he was controlling.

If you fuck around I'm calling the police
The person who left the artist threatens to call the police if he acts out of line.

But all I wanted to say was I'm sorry
The artist wishes he could apologize to the person who left him.

Oh how I wish that could tell you
The artist desperately wants to express his remorse to the person who left him.

You're gone, you're dead, you'll never know that I was sorry
The person who left the singer is no longer alive and will never know his true feelings.

Just leave me alone, stay out my head, I wish that I could tell you
The artist wants to be left alone with his thoughts and wishes he could talk to the person who left him.

It's hard to forget, my heart is a brick
The singer struggles to forget and move on from the past.

I tell myself Marcus, I thought that you were smarter than this
The singer chastises himself for making bad decisions in the past.

The mess I put you through was worse than pearl harbor and shit
The singer recognizes that he caused significant harm to the person who left him.

I'd always harm you and flip, mentally scar you and trip
The artist admits to hurting and emotionally damaging the person who left him.

Sometimes I'd argue and get, the nerve to call you a bitch
The artist would sometimes argue and belittle the person who left him.

Then bruise your back against the dresser that I tossed you against
The singer admits to being physically abusive towards the person who left him.

My Juliet at the time I never thought you was it
The singer never fully appreciated the person who left him when they were together.

I do now but shit your gone, so I just offer you this
The artist now appreciates the person who left him, but it's too late. All he can do is apologize through his music.

A song to you, through it I open the crack in my chest
The artist dedicates his song to the person who left him as a way to show his vulnerability.

And show the whole world I've always had a lack of respect
The artist opens up and confesses to having a lack of respect for women in the past.

For women who went to my life, I look to vengeance as knife
The singer sought revenge on women who hurt him in the past.

Intentions to fight, if you thinking I was senseless you right
The artist was willing to fight those who hurt him in the past, and acknowledges that it was senseless.

Now every sentence I write, I think twice on it so I don't regret
The singer is more thoughtful with his words now, and doesn't want to regret what he says in the future.

Cause only stress lies in a simple mind of loneliness
The singer recognizes that dwelling on his loneliness only causes stress and anxiety.

I'm an unholy mess, put me in a hole to rest
The singer feels like a mess and wants to be left alone.

Welcome to my life this is how painful my stories get
The artist admits that his life has been filled with pain and regret.

Now use this track as a lesson
The artist hopes that his song can serve as a lesson for those who relate to his experiences.

All you guys out there who have some aggression
The singer is speaking to men who may have anger issues or who are abusive.

Towards your woman it don't have to get hectic
The singer urges men not to let their aggression towards women escalate to violent behavior.

That crap is pathetic, now look at me I have to regret it
The artist recognizes that his past behavior was pathetic and he regrets it.

I can't go near her or nothing, she'll probably have me arrested
The artist is afraid to see or be near the person who left him, for fear of her calling the police.

The only thing I could do is just make a track with a message
The artist can only express his remorse through his music.

And hope she hears it so she could know I was badly infected
The singer hopes that the person who left him hears his song and knows how sorry he is for his past behavior.

I never meant to be that type of guy
The artist never intended to be abusive or hurtful towards others.

But I realized that I was, and because of it I'm throwing my sinister life aside
The singer recognizes that he was abusive and is now trying to change his ways and become a better person.

I can cry at any moment just thinking about it
The singer is deeply affected by his past behavior and can become emotional when he thinks about it.

Sometimes I hide it from the folks that I'm hanging around with
The singer doesn't want others to know how much his past behavior still affects him.

I should apply for a new soul cause I think it's invalid
The artist feels like his past behavior has made him unworthy of the soul he has.

Somebody told me when I die I'll be safe but I doubt it
The artist is skeptical that he'll find peace or safety after he dies.

The grudge she holds against me, it hurts me so severely
The singer is hurt by the fact that the person who left him is still angry and has not forgiven him.

She won't come near me, I thought that time was supposed to cure me
The singer thought that with enough time, the person who left him would give him another chance, but she has not.

I'm so alone and weary, writing songs to heal me
The artist feels lonely and tired, and uses his music as a way to heal himself.

I swear that I'm sorry Heather, I mean it so sincerely
The artist apologizes to the person who left him by name, and wants her to know how truly sorry he is.