I Kinda Suck
Human Kitten Lyrics

I always say nothing when I, I should have said something
I struggle to speak up when I know I should, because I fear I can't find the right words.

Cause I couldn't think of the right thing to say
I often feel like I lack the vocabulary or skills to properly articulate my thoughts and feelings in important conversations.

I spend most of my days paralyzed by
My daily struggles are heavily influenced by overwhelming sensations of stress, timidity, and insecurity.

Fear, shame and anxieties
Various forms of fear, shame and anxiety dominate my psyche.

Am I doing it right? Probably not. I'm probably not
I'm often plagued by doubt that I'm not living my life right, that I'm not being good enough in my actions and endeavors.

But I'll be damned if I'm not trying
Despite these feelings of inadequacy, I am persistent and passionate about improving myself and my condition.

Depression is my oppression and it trumps all the rest
My depression is the most significant and impactful mental issue I face, and it permeates all facets of my life.

I'd be content to die right now if I knew I wouldn't be missed
I often feel like my contributions to the world are negligible, and that my death wouldn't make much of an impact on anyone else.

But I know I'd be missed
Despite these thoughts, I also realize that there are people in my life who care about me and would be devastated by my absence.

At least I know I'd be missed
This realization is somewhat comforting, as it imbues my life with a sense of purpose and meaning that I might otherwise lack.

I'm terrified of all the kids I went to high school with
I remain deeply insecure and intimidated by people from my past, especially those who I perceive as more successful, accomplished or respected than myself.

I'm scared of what they think of me now
I harbour anxiety concerning how these people perceive me in the present day, and fear that their opinions or judgements of me might be negative, condescending or dismissive.

Do they respect me? Do they like me? Do they hate me? Do they spite me?
I'm consumed by thoughts of how former acquaintances might be evaluating my worth or my character, and fear that their potential opinions might shape or define my own self-perception.

They probably just don't think of me at all, they don't think of me at all
In reality, these people are probably not devoting any significant thought or energy into considering my role in their lives, which reinforces my fear of being 'invisible' or inconsequential.

And I know I should care more about
In theory, I realize that I should focus more on my own feelings about myself and my life, rather than obsessing over what other people might be thinking or feeling.

How I think and feel about myself
It's important that I develop a healthy and authentic sense of self-worth and self-assurance, rather than deriving my sense of value from external sources.

But I just want to serve and I don't want to serve myself
Despite this awareness, I often find myself prioritizing the needs or desires of others over my own well-being or emotional fulfillment.

Cause I'm a lost cause and you are a lego box
I feel like I'm a hopeless or irreparable case, while others are flexible or adaptable enough to constructively change their lives or their mindset.

So tell me what to do and I will appease you
I'm eager to please others and meet their expectations, and will go to great lengths to do so if given specific instructions or guidance.

I just want to please you, I just want to please you
I derive a sense of validation or satisfaction from making others happy or content, and see this as an important part of my role in the world.

Because if I can't be happy, at least you can be
I'm willing to sacrifice my own happiness or fulfillment if it means that I can make someone else's life better or more positive.

Since I can't be happy, will you please be?
I recognize that I have difficulty finding genuine happiness or satisfaction in my own life, and hope that by making others happy, I can indirectly feel better about myself and my existence.