Hate In A Puddle
Illogic Lyrics

I hate when it rains, cause in puddles I encounter this guy
Encountering the reflection of himself in puddles makes him hate the rain.

Unable to give a rebuttal but swift as the pain flood his eyes
He can't deny that he hates himself and it hurts him deeply.

Wonderin' why he's a gift with no purpose
He questions his existence and why he doesn't have a clear purpose.

A priceless one-of-a-kind piece that's worthless
Although unique, he feels worthless in the world.

Grounded with no surface
He feels stuck in life with no direction to move forward.

And when he shows one, it's a facade
He puts up a front to others that he is content with himself, but inside he is struggling.

'Cause inside he fights feelings that he was mistake by God
He battles with the idea that he was a mistake and feels undeserving of happiness.

I see his confusion and self-deception
Recognizing his own confusion and denial about his true feelings.

Questions of relevance and intelligence
Doubting his own worth and intellect.

He holds an illusion of self-acceptance
He pretends to accept himself, but in reality, he struggles with self-acceptance.

That he shows to those outside lookin' in
He puts up a facade to others who are watching him.

He's outside lookin' in to his own life, lookin' for strength
He feels disconnected from his own life and is searching for strength.

To carry on as a pawn in this chess game of existence
He feels like a pawn in the game of life, just going through the motions.

In his mind he wants to go on to the dawn
He wants to move forward towards a brighter future.

And leave the stress that came with existence
He desires to leave behind the stress of life.

Hopin' in death he'll find life
He holds on to the hope that death will bring him new life.

He's made his heart so hard, he doesn't even cry anymore
He has become emotionally detached and no longer allows himself to cry.

'Cause he's confronted sorrow frequently
He has dealt with a lot of sadness in his life.

His heart's been broken frequently
His heart has been broken many times, contributing to his detachment.

It's like he's lost some part of him and just haven't found it yet
He feels incomplete and is searching for something he has yet to discover.

So in his search, he's left with nothin' but questions and regret
His search for completeness has left him with only questions and regrets.

All he wants to know is how one day, he's content
He desires to feel content and at peace with himself.

And the next day he's cryin'
He feels like his emotions are unpredictable and unstable.

'Cause his life isn't what he thought life meant
He has different expectations for his life than what it currently is.

He just wants to be happy, with his love and all
He desires happiness and love in his life.

But too often I get messages through telepathic calls
He feels like he receives messages from a higher power telling him what he needs.

He's askin' me through a puddle what more must he endure to continue
He turns to his reflection in the puddle for answers about what he must go through to keep living.

But for some reason he knows he most endure to continue
He understands that he must endure struggles to keep going.

When I walk past puddles, my reflection calls beggin' me
He sees himself in puddles and feels like he is begging for answers.

To answer his questions about life and his perceptions
He seeks answers about the meaning of life and his own perspective.

And tell him why I hate him so much
He wants an explanation for why he feels such self-hatred.

Now when I walk past puddles, my reflection calls beggin' me
Even when he tries to ignore his reflection, it still calls out to him.

Damn, I wonder why I hate him so much
He questions why he feels so much self-hatred.

Why did I hate him so much?
He continues to question his own self-hatred.

I wondered, pondered on the question
He spends a lot of time thinking about it.

What in my mind caused me to despise my reflection?
He searches for the root cause of his self-hatred.

He's come in contact with some ill things that can't be explained
He has experienced traumatic events that he can't fully understand.

Life's extracted his energy to where the pain can't be contained
He has been drained of energy because of the pain he's experienced.

So to me he comes, sheddin' tears like skin
He feels vulnerable and exposed, shedding tears like he sheds skin.

Intimate with some, only the ones he calls friends
He only allows a few close friends to be intimate with him emotionally.

If he even exists, he only exists in pain
He feels like he only exists to suffer through pain.

It's like his life is a myth
He feels like his own life is a mystery he can't solve.

And he's been blessed with the gift of shame, I mean
He feels like he has been given the gift of shame, as if he deserves it.

From birth to love he's been betrayed
He has experienced betrayal throughout his life, even in love.

He's an unknown in how to cope with that pain and disappointment
He struggles with how to handle the constant pain and disappointment in his life.

He's come to know as he's grown
He has learned as he's grown older.

He feels he stands alone in this world of puddle images
He feels isolated in a world full of reflections.

And he awaits the time for when, time finishes
He hopes for the day when it's all over.

He tries to elevate thought, but he's still chillin' in the basement
He attempts to think positively, but feels stuck in a dark place mentally.

Awaitin' a rebirth of his soul as it fears it's spiritual placement
He hopes for a spiritual rebirth to help him find his place.

God I pray you can give me a purpose or help me find it
He turns to a higher power, asking for help in finding a purpose.

'Cause on this narrow path of self-damnation, I can't find it
He feels lost and unable to find his way.

Is it somethin' I need to know, some way I need to grow
He questions what he needs to do to learn and grow.

To get out of this rut, God give me some self-trust
He asks for God's help in trusting himself.

Love is somethin' I'm lookin' for but I've found it, or have I?
He is searching for love, but questions whether he has truly found it.

I want to live but can I, or do I have to die to?
He questions whether he can truly live, or if he must die to find peace.

I try to, have life but my life seems kinda worthless
He tries to live his life, but feels like it is not worth much.

As I'm starin' at this puddle
He is looking at his reflection in a puddle.

God I pray that you can give me a purpose or help me find it
He continues to ask for God's help in finding a purpose.

To get out of this rut, God please give me some self-trust
He still needs help trusting himself.

Love is somethin' I'm lookin' for, thought I found it, or have I?
He still isn't sure if he has truly found love.

As I'm starin' in this puddle
He is still focused on his reflection in the puddle.

I sit alone in dismal silence
He is alone and in a bleak, unhappy state.

Peering into the eyes of my reflection
He looks into his own eyes.

Wondering if his thoughts are adjacent to my own
He questions whether his reflection thinks similarly to him.

What visions of eerie savagery
He wonders what dark thoughts his reflection has.

Are passing if purity lurks in the mind of he who I mirror?
He questions if there is any purity left in his own mind.

Lookin' at him I am disgusted
He feels disgust looking at his own reflection.

He lacks beauty in all external areas
He feels like he is not physically attractive.

And internally he seems so confused
He is internally confused about many things.

Perplexed with this conundrum of life
He is struggling to comprehend the reality of life.

He proceeds to function or cope, lookin' at it realistically
He tries his best to function and deal with life as it is.

Esteem he lacks, in all areas of existence
He has low self-esteem in all aspects of his being.

Reason unknown
He doesn't know why he struggles with self-esteem so much.

What is the cause of the lack of this self-acceptance?
He questions why he can't accept himself for who he is.

I mean it seems like he needs constant assurance
He feels like he needs reassurance all the time.

Some type of ritual proof that he's even worth the oxygen he breathes
He desires rituals or proof that he is worth something in the world.

A light that shines upon him
He hopes for a guiding light to help him find his way.

Is his living in vein? Does he have a purpose?
He questions whether his life is pointless or if he has a true purpose.

Answer, eternally unknown
He recognizes that the answer may never be known.