Wishful Thinking
J.J. Barnes Lyrics

Lately I've been thinkin bout my ex
Recently, my thoughts have been consumed by memories and thoughts about my past romantic partner.

Thinkin bout the single life
Reflecting on the freedom and independence of being single.

I'm always fuckin' stressed
I constantly feel overwhelmed and anxious.

Cheated on me and ya hit the next
You betrayed our relationship by being unfaithful and quickly moving on to someone else.

Prolly woulda came at my neck
You probably would have aggressively confronted me about it.

You know them spanish chicks
You are familiar with the stereotype that Spanish women are sexually adventurous.

Always down to fuck
Spanish women are often willing and eager to engage in sexual activities.

No luck quick nut
I often have no luck in finding long-lasting relationships, only brief sexual encounters.

Pussy was the best i ever fuckin' touched
Your genitalia provided the most pleasurable sexual experience I've ever had.

Quick bust
I ejaculate prematurely during sexual encounters.

Had me feelin rusty everytime we fucked
Engaging in sexual activities with you left me feeling inadequate and inexperienced.

I said this never happen
I convinced myself that this situation would never occur.

Couldn't last to make her cum
I wasn't able to maintain sexual stamina long enough to satisfy her.

I've been feelin crazy lately yea i'm feelin numb
Recently, I've been experiencing intense emotions and a sense of emotional detachment.

Life is gettin tirin
Life has become exhausting and draining.

Feelin like chewed gum
I feel used and discarded, like a piece of chewed gum.

Spit me out like im used
You discarded me after benefiting from our relationship.

Kick me out like a bum
You evicted me from your life as if I were a homeless person.

Hit me like a fuckin juul
You metaphorically struck me like a Juul vape, leaving me shocked and hurt.

Knocked down like the scum
I was emotionally and mentally defeated, treated as if I were worthless.

Ive been tryin to get bread
I've been striving to achieve financial stability.

Pickin all these crumbs
I'm only able to find small, insignificant opportunities or rewards.

I was lookin for commitment
I desired a serious and committed relationship.

She was lookin for some fun
She was seeking casual and non-committal experiences.

I was tryna work it out
I wanted to resolve our issues and improve our relationship.

But She said i aint the one
However, she communicated that I am not the right person for her.

Since then i quit relationships
Afterward, I have made the decision to avoid entering into romantic relationships.

Tryna coppa gun
I am attempting to purchase a firearm.

This life isnt best for me
I have come to realize that my current lifestyle is not beneficial for my well-being.

I need a plan to run
I require a well-conceived strategy to escape and start anew.

Been contemplatin Suicide
I have been seriously considering ending my own life.

24 i'm young
At the age of 24, I am still considered young.

I'll play lifes game til either 50 51
I will continue navigating through life's challenges until I reach the age of 50 or 51.

Maybe 60 61
Or possibly even 60 or 61 years old.

Ive had good times
I have experienced enjoyable moments in life.

And i know that im loved
I am aware that I am cared for by others.

But what good is life
However, what is the value of life

If your constantly alone
If I am consistently feeling lonely and isolated.

Ive been goin hard
I have been exerting significant effort and dedication.

But i still missed my zone
Yet, I have failed to reach my desired state or level of accomplishment.

I never hit my friends
I have never physically struck my friends in a violent manner.

Why the fuck im always home
Why am I always confined to my home and isolated from others?

I bought a used car
I purchased a pre-owned vehicle.

Got a new fuckin phone
However, I acquired a new smartphone.

I aint hit nobody up
I have not contacted anyone.

I Been gone for too long
I have been absent for an extended period of time.

Why'd i stay away from love
Why did I choose to distance myself from love and romantic connections?

Bitches always did me wrong
Women have consistently treated me poorly in romantic relationships.

1A was pretty bad
My previous experience with a particular person or situation was highly unpleasant.

But the dicky wasnt strong
However, the sexual performance or stamina was underwhelming.

Her pussy too tight
Her vaginal muscles were excessively contracted during intercourse.

Didn't say my dicky small
It was not implied or stated that my penis is small in size.

She said she need a man
She expressed the need for a mature and reliable partner.

I guess i wasnt one at all
Evidently, I did not meet the expectations or criteria of being a suitable partner.

My self esteem
My self-worth and confidence

Has reached
Has now reached

My all time low
An extreme state of feeling worthless and emotionally depleted.

Fuck my posed to grow
How am I expected to grow and develop under these circumstances?

Feelin like i cant do shows
I am experiencing self-doubt and a lack of ability to perform in my professional career.

My motivation reach a low
My drive and ambition have significantly diminished.

Anxiety is kickin
I am currently experiencing heightened levels of anxiety.

Feelin demon creepin
I am sensing a malevolent presence or influence.

Watch my body die
I witness my physical and mental health deteriorate.

Heart stops beatin
The rhythmic pulsations of my heart cease.

Wouldnt talk it
I would not communicate or discuss it.

Less i see it
Unless I witness it.

Scared to sleep
I am afraid of falling asleep.

When i'm dreamin
During my dreams.

When i'm dreamin
While I am in a dream state.

Feel the presence
I perceive the existence or manifestation of a supernatural entity.

Feel it breathin
I can sense its respiration.

On my shoulder
It is resting upon my shoulder.

Down my neck
It is moving slowly along my neck.

Hold me down
It is keeping me in a restricted and immobilized position.

He be screamin
It is emitting loud and alarming sounds.

Needa get you life together
I need to make considerable improvements and changes in my life.

In the end ima reap it
Ultimately, I will face and experience the consequences and outcomes of my actions.

I wake up with
When I wake up, I find that

My door wide open
My door is inexplicably fully open.

I know i left it closed
I distinctly remember closing it before going to sleep.

I've been sensin omens
I have been perceiving signs or signals indicating future events or outcomes.

I got bad luck
I am frequently plagued by misfortune.

And I travel with some curses
Moreover, I seem to carry or attract negative forces or influences with me wherever I go.

Ever since baby moms
Ever since the mother of my child

Feelin numb
I have been experiencing emotional detachment and a lack of feeling.

As it worsens
As this emotional state grows more intense and deteriorates further.

My chest is gettin tighter
I am feeling a sense of constriction and pressure in my chest.

It aint never gonna open
It appears that it will never alleviate or release.

Up to any bitch
I am unwilling to emotionally open up and connect with any woman.

In the end it isnt worth it
Ultimately, the potential outcomes or benefits do not justify the effort or emotional investment.

I cant feel my energy
I am unable to perceive or connect with my own personal energy.

I'm tryna gain a purpose
I am actively attempting to find a sense of direction and purpose in my life.

I feel you here
I sense your presence and influence in my surroundings.

I feel you watching me
I have a strong sensation that you are observing and monitoring my actions.

I know your there
I am aware of your existence and proximity.

Your presence is taunting me
Your existence seems to mock and torment me.

I bet you don't care
I am willing to wager that you possess apathy or indifference towards me.

What more you want from me
What additional desires, expectations, or demands do you have of me?

I feel them stares
I sense the gaze and scrutiny of others.

Tell me whats wrong with me
Please inform me of the faults or deficiencies within myself.