Depression
J.T. Pender Lyrics
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Latley ive had my heart ripped from my chest
Lost my Bestfriend and im a fucking mess
Why does god put me through these tests
I havent been feeling alright
I havent been feeling fine
I Got these suicidal thoughts running through my mind
I know im gonna heal itll just take time
So im sorry if it feels like im pushing you away
Im sorry if we dont talk every single day
Please dont leave me please just stay
I know im doing this to myself i know im not okay
I tell you all im okay but truthfully its a lie
Im praying to god that you just dont say goodbye
Cause every single night i stay up and i cry
Thats why i hardly text back or even reply
Im sorry For all I've done
I'm sorry For this Depression
Im sorry For all I've done
I'm sorry For this Depression
Ive been fighting depression for over 7 years
I cant find happiness unless im chugging beers
I cant fucking smile all you see are fucking tears
Im so fucking lonley its one of my biggest fears
I know that im broken
I know that im worthless
I know that I deserve it
I know that im not worth it
Im a fucking piece of shit
Ill never be worth it
Why do i exist
WHAT IS MY PURPOSE
I know that im easily fucking forgotten
I dont need help but thats why im fucking falling
When i wanna find love I always use caution
I feel like im backed into a corner, im running out of options
I know i got friends but i still feel alone
Nobody to call to talk to on the phone
Honestly im lost im my fucking zone
I know Nobody will miss me when im gone
Im sorry For all I've done
I'm sorry For this Depression
Im sorry For all I've done
I'm sorry For this Depression
The lyrics of "Depression" by J.T. Pender delve deeply into the emotional turmoil and struggles the artist is facing. The opening lines convey a sense of profound sadness and heartbreak, with the artist admitting to not feeling well and grappling with the loss of a close friend. The reference to feeling like their heart has been ripped out emphasizes the intensity of their pain and the turmoil they are experiencing. The artist questions why they are being subjected to such difficult tests, reflecting a sense of confusion and despair regarding their circumstances.
The next verses reveal the artist's inner turmoil and vulnerability, as they admit to having suicidal thoughts and struggling with their mental health. Despite acknowledging that healing will come with time, they express impatience and a desire to overcome their struggles quickly. The artist also shares feelings of guilt and a fear of pushing loved ones away, highlighting the internal conflict and self-blame that often accompany depression. The repeated apologies and admission of not being okay further underscore the depth of their emotional distress and inner battles.
As the lyrics progress, the artist delves deeper into their long-standing battle with depression, spanning over seven years. The self-destructive behaviors such as seeking solace in alcohol and struggling to find happiness highlight the cyclical nature of their mental health struggles. The feelings of worthlessness, loneliness, and despair are palpable, with the artist expressing a deep-seated belief in their lack of value and purpose. The sense of hopelessness and desperation permeates the verses, as the artist grapples with feelings of being forgotten and unloved.
The final verses encapsulate the artist's overwhelming sense of isolation and despair, as they grapple with feelings of being alone and unmissed. The plea for understanding and forgiveness, coupled with the repeated apologies for their depression, reveal the weight of their internal struggles. The artist's raw vulnerability and honesty in expressing their pain and self-loathing serve as a poignant reminder of the profound impact of mental health issues. Ultimately, the lyrics of "Depression" offer a raw and unflinching glimpse into the artist's emotional journey, showcasing the complexities of battling inner demons and seeking solace amidst profound despair.
Line by Line Meaning
Yeah Latley i havent been feeling the best
Recently, I have not been in a good emotional state
Latley ive had my heart ripped from my chest
Lately, I have experienced deep emotional pain
Lost my Bestfriend and im a fucking mess
Losing my best friend has left me feeling completely broken
Why does god put me through these tests
I question why I am facing such difficult challenges in my life
I havent been feeling alright
I have not been feeling emotionally stable
I havent been feeling fine
I have not been feeling mentally well
I Got these suicidal thoughts running through my mind
I am struggling with persistent thoughts of self-harm
I know im gonna heal itll just take time
I understand that healing will require patience and time
But im getting impatient trying to get to the finish line
I am struggling with impatience while trying to overcome my difficulties
So im sorry if it feels like im pushing you away
I apologize if my behavior makes it seem like I am distancing myself from you
Im sorry if we dont talk every single day
I apologize if we are not in constant communication
Please dont leave me please just stay
I plea for you to remain by my side and not abandon me
I know im doing this to myself i know im not okay
I am aware that I am causing my own suffering and that I am not well
I tell you all im okay but truthfully its a lie
I may say I am okay, but in reality, I am not
Im praying to god that you just dont say goodbye
I am desperately hoping that you do not leave me
Cause every single night i stay up and i cry
Every night, I struggle with tears and sorrow
Thats why i hardly text back or even reply
This is why I often do not respond to messages promptly
Im sorry For all I've done
I apologize for any pain or hurt I have caused
I'm sorry For this Depression
I apologize for the burden of depression I am carrying
Ive been fighting depression for over 7 years
I have been battling depression for more than 7 years
I cant find happiness unless im chugging beers
I struggle to find joy unless I am drinking excessively
I cant fucking smile all you see are fucking tears
I am unable to express happiness; all anyone sees are tears
Im so fucking lonley its one of my biggest fears
I am overwhelmingly lonely, and it terrifies me
I know that im broken
I am aware that I am emotionally damaged
I know that im worthless
I understand that I feel devoid of value
I know that I deserve it
I believe that I deserve the pain I am experiencing
I know that im not worth it
I acknowledge that I do not feel deserving of love or care
Im a fucking piece of shit
I have a low opinion of myself; viewing myself negatively
Ill never be worth it
I do not believe that I will ever be deserving of happiness
Why do i exist
I question the purpose and meaning of my existence
WHAT IS MY PURPOSE
I am desperate to understand my reason for being
I know that im easily fucking forgotten
I am aware that I can be quickly overlooked or ignored
I dont need help but thats why im fucking falling
Even though I deny needing help, I am still struggling and declining
When i wanna find love I always use caution
I approach relationships with caution, fearing further hurt and rejection
I feel like im backed into a corner, im running out of options
I feel trapped and limited, with no clear way out of my pain
I know i got friends but i still feel alone
Despite having friends, I still experience deep feelings of loneliness
Nobody to call to talk to on the phone
I have no one to reach out to for conversation or support
Honestly im lost im my fucking zone
To be honest, I feel adrift and lost in my own inner turmoil
I know Nobody will miss me when im gone
I believe that no one will notice or mourn my absence when I am no longer here
Lyrics © O/B/O DistroKid
Written by: Jovani Vazquez
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind