03' Adolescence
J. Cole Lyrics

I grew up, a fuckin' screw up
I had a difficult upbringing and made many mistakes.

Tie my shoe up, wish they was newer
I wish I had nicer things, even down to my shoes.

Damn, need somethin' newer
I am constantly wanting something new, never satisfied with what I have.

In love with the baddest girl in the city, I wish I knew her
I am infatuated with a girl who is out of my league and wish I had a chance with her.

I wish I weren't so shy, I wish I was a bit more fly
I lack confidence and wish I could be more attractive and charismatic.

I wish that I, could tell her how I really feel inside
I want to express my true feelings to the girl I am infatuated with.

That I'm the perfect nigga for her, but then maybe that's a lie
I believe I am the ideal partner for her, but I am uncertain I am truly worthy or what she is looking for.

She like a certain type of nigga, and it's clear I'm not that guy
She has a specific type she is attracted to and unfortunately, I am not it.

Ball player, star player, I'm just watchin' from the side
I am envious of athletes and their success, while I am just a spectator.

On the bench, cause my lack of confidence won't let me fly
I am held back by my own insecurity and self-doubt.

I ain't grow up with my father, I ain't thinkin' bout that now
I am not dwelling on my childhood trauma of growing up without a father figure.

Fast forward four years or so from now I'll probably cry
In the future, I will likely regret not addressing my childhood trauma.

When I realize what I missed, but as of now my eyes are dry
At present, I am avoiding confronting my emotions and pushing them aside.

Cause I'm tryna stay alive
I am focused on staying alive in the dangerous environment I live in.

In the city where too many niggas die
My city is plagued with violence and many people lose their lives as a result.

Dream in quiet tryna dodge a suit and tie
I aspire for more than working a mundane office job and hope to avoid that fate.

Who am I? Aye who am I?
I am unsure of my own identity and purpose in life.

Things change, rearrange, or so do I
I am adapting to the changes in my life, evolving as I go.

It ain't always for the better dawg, I can't lie
I acknowledge that not all changes are positive.

I get high cause the lows can be so cold
I use drugs to escape the harsh reality of my life and circumstances.

I might bend a little bit but I don't fold
I am resilient and may struggle but never give up completely.

One time for my mind and two for yours
I have valuable insight to share and want to provide food for thought to others.

I got food for your thoughts to sooth your soul
My words can comfort and provide insight for those who need it.

If you see my tears fall just let me be..
I do not want others to see me vulnerable or emotional in a negative way.

Move along, nothing to see
I hope to deflect attention and avoid others' scrutiny.

I always did shit the hard way, my niggas slangin' in the hallway
I tend to make things more difficult for myself, while my peers resort to selling drugs to make money.

Burnt CD's and trees like this was Broadway
We pass the time burning CDs and smoking marijuana, as if it were an exciting escape like Broadway.

Times Square, kept the dimes there in the locker
We stash our drugs in a locker in Times Square to avoid getting caught.

Some Reggie Miller, with more brown hairs than Chewbaca
Our marijuana is not of the highest quality, but we still sell it.

Whispers that he got it for the low low sell a dime for a dub, them white boys ain't know no better
We sell drugs to naïve white customers for a high profit margin.

Besides, what's twenty dollars to a nigga like that?
To our white customers, $20 is not a significant amount of money compared to the profit we make.

He tell his pops he need some lunch and he gon' get it right back
Our customers lie to their parents, saying they need money for lunch when they are actually buying drugs.

I peep game, got home snatched my mama keychain
I learn from my surroundings and steal my mother's car keys.

Took her whip, the appeal, to ill to refrain
I am tempted by the idea of stealing her car and act on this temptation.

I hit the boulevard pull up to my nigga front door
I go to my friend's house by driving on the main street.

His mama at home, she still let em' hit the blunt though
Even though his mother is at home, she allows us to smoke marijuana.

I told her hello and sat with my nigga and laughed
I greet his mother and hang out with my friend, enjoying a good time.

And talked about how we gon' smash all the bitches in class
We objectify and talk sexually about girls in our school.

I complimented how I see him out here getting his cash, and just asked
I praise my friend for his success in drug dealing and inquire about how to achieve that same success.

"What a nigga gotta do to get that?! Put me on"
I ask my friend to mentor me in drug dealing.

He just laughed when he seen I was sure
My friend finds my naivety amusing.

17 Years breathing his demeanor said more
My friend's 17 years of experience in the game makes him an expert, and his demeanor says I will not understand until I have that same experience.

He told me, "Nigga you know how you sound right now?
My friend calls me out for being idealistic and ignorant to the realities of drug dealing.

You won't my mans, I would think that you a clown right now, listen"
My friend considers me a friend, but warns me that my current attitude toward drug dealing is foolish.

"You everything I wanna be that's why I fucks with you
My friend admires me and our friendship is based on mutual respect.

So how you looking up to me, when I look up to you?"
My friend is surprised that I see him as an authority figure when he is inspired by me.

"You bout to go get a degree, I'm bout to be stuck with two choices:
I have opportunities ahead of me to pursue higher education, while my friend feels stuck in his current situation of drug dealing.

Either graduate to weight or sell a number two
My friend's only options are to either escalate his drug dealing or continue selling small amounts.

For what? A hundred bucks or two a week?
My friend realizes that the long-term payoff of drug dealing is not worth the short-term gains.

Do you think that you would know what to do if you was me?
My friend questions whether I could handle his responsibilities and decisions in drug dealing.

I got, four brothers, one mother that don't love us
My friend reveals his difficult family situation, with four siblings and a mother who does not show them love.

If they ain't never want us why the fuck they never wore rubbers?"
My friend questions why his parents chose to have children they did not want, and why they did not use protection.

I felt ashamed to have ever complained about my lack of gear
After seeing my friend's struggles, I realize my complaints about material possessions were insignificant.

And thought about how far we done came
Reflecting on our friendship, I realize how much we have overcome together.

From trailer park to a front yard with trees in the sky
My friend and I have come a long way from growing up in a trailer park to now living somewhere more desirable and beautiful.

Thank you mama dry your eyes, there ain't no reason to cry
I reassure my mother that she does not need to worry or be sad.

You made a genius and I, ain't gon' take it for granted
I credit my mother for my intelligence and accomplishments and vow to not waste those opportunities.

I ain't gon' settle for lesser, I ain't gon' take what they handed
I am determined to achieve my goals and not be held back by others' expectations or limitations.

Nah I'm gon' take what they owe me and show you that I can fly
I will not be content with what I have and will work hard to achieve greater success and show my loved ones my true potential.

And show ol' girl what she missing
I aim to prove to the girl I am infatuated with that I am capable, successful, and more than she might have thought of me.

The illest nigga alive
I am confident in my abilities and believe I am the best at what I do.