A Sad Aztec Song
J. Visser Lyrics

Tear my guts out
I am in extreme emotional pain and feel like my insides are being ripped apart.

Smear from ceiling to floor
The pain is so intense that it feels like my suffering is everywhere and covering everything.

To have something meaningful written on the walls
I want to leave some kind of impact or legacy before I go.

I don’t care anymore
I am overwhelmed by sadness and despair to the point that I no longer have any motivation or energy to care about anything.

Hate myself absolutely
I have a deep and profound loathing for myself and all that I am.

Self degraded and waiting to die is a bore
I feel completely worthless and see death as a release from the tedium of my existence.

Something stupid
I have something to say, but it may not be important or coherent.

I wanted to say
I have thoughts and feelings that I want to express, but may not have the courage or strength to do so.

Going to write it all down
I will try to capture my thoughts and feelings in writing, even if they are fleeting or difficult to express.

Just to throw it away
Ultimately, my writing will be meaningless and will not provide any comfort or sense of closure.

Don’t want to wake up tomorrow
I am so exhausted and despairing that I cannot bear the thought of another day of suffering.

To face another day
Each new day brings more pain and misery, without any hope of relief or happiness.

I’m just a burden to you
I feel like I am causing pain and trouble for those around me, and am not worthy of their love or support.

So let sleep carry me away
I want to escape my suffering through sleep, and perhaps even death.

Maybe I’ll matter
I hope that my life will have some significance or meaning, even if it seems unlikely.

Maybe one day
There is always a chance that things will get better, even if it seems remote or unlikely.

But see maybe’s not good enough
The hope of a better future is not enough to alleviate my present pain and suffering.

With my baby away
The absence of my loved one makes my pain and despair even worse.

I’ll say that I’ll visit
I will make empty promises to try to alleviate my loved one's worries and fears.

But really I’m scared
I am terrified and overwhelmed by my own emotions, and don't know how to cope.

My confidence leaving me
I feel like I am losing my sense of self-worth and courage.

With every stare
The scrutiny and judgment of others makes me feel even more insecure and insignificant.

Aches in my back
The physical pain I suffer is a manifestation of my emotional pain and despair.

And pains in my hands
The physical effects of my emotional suffering are felt throughout my body.

The image standing before you is a broken man
I am a shell of the person I once was, hollowed out by pain and suffering.

But it doesn’t even matter
My life may be meaningless and painful, but that doesn't change the reality of my situation.

‘Cause I've got no sex life
I am unable to derive pleasure or comfort from any aspect of my existence, including intimacy or sexuality.

The only commitments I have are
I have nothing in my life that brings me joy or purpose, except for two destructive habits.

Cigarettes and suicide
My only coping mechanisms are harmful to myself and are leading me down a path of self-destruction.

I just can’t admit that I love you
I am unable to acknowledge my true feelings and vulnerability to my loved one, even though they are my only source of hope and happiness.

You’re the only reason for me to pull through
My love for you is the one thing that gives me the strength to keep going, even in the face of unbearable pain and suffering.