The group was named for the San Francisco Muni Metro line that Hahn took down Church Street to work, as well as to band practice in the the early days. Through the years, Lance was joined by a vast array of musicians in an ever-evolving J Church lineup.
Lance Hahn was also a punk rock history writer, writing many pieces for Maximum Rock 'n' Roll, the San Francisco music zine. Additionally, he also found time to run Honey Bear Records and work on a book compiling various writings on anarcho-punk bands. Lance Hahn passed away on October 21, 2007, aged 40, after falling into a coma nine days earlier due to complications from kidney dialysis.
Band Members included:
Guitar / Vocals
Lance Hahn (1991-2007)
Second Guitarist
David DiDonato (2002-2005)
Bass Players
Ben White (2002-2007)
Jeff Bursley (1999-2002)
Scott Bradley (1998-1999)
Gardner Maxam (1991-1998)
Drummers
Chris Pfeffer (2002-2007)
Adam Pfahler (1998-2002)
Andee Connors (1997-2000)
Reed Burgoyne (1995-1997)
Wade Arnold Driver Jr (1994-1995)
Brendan Murdoch (1992-1994)
Adam Pfahler (1992-1993)
Aaron Olson (1991-1992)
http://www.j-church.com
Disappear
J Church Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
But the words came from her mouth so slowly,
I saw her face change,
She wanted none of that sympathy,
You can say what you will,
But I know she has suffered enough,
And I don't know victims,
Only survivors surviving your touch
I thought I knew all the answers,
But the words they disappeared,
I can't imagine, I can't even try,
The vision in my mind was never clear
The fear of touch,
It can lock you away for ever and ever,
Could it mean so much?
Every second we spent together,
I'd like to apologize,
For all the times your hurt was more
Than I could bear,
I try to empathise,
If I don't understand at least I care
I thought I knew all the answers,
But the words they disappeared,
I can't imagine, I can't even try,
The vision in my mind was never clear
I thought I knew all the answers,
But the words they disappeared,
I can't imagine, I can't even try,
The vision in my mind was never clear
J Church's song "Disappear" is a poignant reflection on the aftermath of trauma and the difficulties of understanding and empathizing with someone who has experienced it. The song is narrated by someone who is grappling with the emotional fallout of a loved one's trauma. The opening lines capture the singer's reluctance to hear the truth of what has happened: "No, I didn't want to hear it, / But the words came from her mouth so slowly." The singer is witnessing the effect of the trauma on their loved one's face and is unable to offer anything more than sympathy, which is not what their loved one wants. The song speaks to the complexities of supporting someone through a difficult experience, and the need for survivors to define their own experiences and have agency over their healing process.
The chorus "I thought I knew all the answers, / But the words they disappeared, / I can't imagine, I can't even try, / The vision in my mind was never clear," touches on the sense of helplessness and confusion that the singer is experiencing. They thought they had all the answers, but in reality, they are at a loss for how to help their loved one. The lines "The fear of touch, / It can lock you away for ever and ever" speak to the isolating effects of trauma and how it can alter one's relationship to touch and intimacy. The singer is reflecting on the time they spent together before the trauma occurred and how they wish they could have done more to help their loved one.
Overall, J Church's "Disappear" is a powerful and empathetic narrative about the difficulties of supporting someone through trauma. The lyrics capture the raw emotions of confusion, helplessness, and regret that often accompany these experiences.
Line by Line Meaning
No, I didn't want to hear it,
The singer didn't want to hear what the other person had to say.
But the words came from her mouth so slowly,
The other person was hesitant in speaking the words.
I saw her face change,
The singer noticed a change in the other person's expression/sentiment.
She wanted none of that sympathy,
The other person didn't want sympathy from the artist.
You can say what you will,
The artist isn't concerned about the negative things others might say about the other person.
But I know she has suffered enough,
The singer acknowledges the other person's suffering.
And I don't know victims,
The singer doesn't view the other person as a victim.
Only survivors surviving your touch
The artist considers the other person to be a survivor of the negative impact of someone else's actions.
I thought I knew all the answers,
The artist thought they had everything figured out.
But the words they disappeared,
The artist realized they were wrong/radically changed their perspective.
I can't imagine, I can't even try,
The singer is having difficulty putting themselves in the other person's shoes.
The vision in my mind was never clear
The artist never had a full understanding of the other person's experience.
The fear of touch,
The singer is referring to a fear of physical contact.
It can lock you away for ever and ever,
The fear of touch can have a long-lasting (possibly permanent) impact on one's life.
Could it mean so much?
The singer is questioning the significance of this fear.
Every second we spent together,
The artist is likely addressing the other person here, referring to the time they spent together.
I'd like to apologize,
The artist wants to apologize.
For all the times your hurt was more
The singer is apologizing for not fully understanding the depth of the other person's pain.
Than I could bear,
The other person's pain was difficult for the singer to comprehend/relate to.
I try to empathise,
The artist attempts to understand the other person's experience.
If I don't understand at least I care
Even if the artist doesn't fully understand, they still care about the other person and their well-being.
I thought I knew all the answers,
Repetition of an earlier line/message in the song.
But the words they disappeared,
Repetition of an earlier line/message in the song.
I can't imagine, I can't even try,
Repetition of an earlier line/message in the song.
The vision in my mind was never clear
Repetition of an earlier line/message in the song.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: Steven Kilbey
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind