The subject of the song characterizes “Hell” as a place where you cannot have, see or feel the person you love; it’s a place where all your love cannot be reciprocated anymore.
This song might even serve has a companion piece to Psychopomp’s “In Heaven”, which, also bringing up the grief of losing her mother, deals with the concept of an afterlife. Interestingly, that song also mentions a confused dog who doesn’t understand the sudden change.
This might be the saddest song I’ve ever written. It’s a companion song to ‘In Heaven’ off of Psychopomp, because it’s about the same dog. But here, I’m putting that dog down. It was actually written in the Soft Sounds era as a bonus track for the Japanese release, but I never felt like it got its due.
- via Apple Music
Zauner told Pitchfork:
“For an album about joy, that song is the saddest song I have ever written. It’s about putting my dog down and thinking, Why couldn’t we just have this option when my mom was dying? In movies, when someone dies, they just close their eyes one day and they’re gone. But it’s literally weeks of someone in a coma, pissing the bed and changing it. I had to make the call to give my dog the shots in the same way we’d have to give my mom the hydrocodone. Comparing those two things was really heavy.“
In Hell
Japanese Breakfast Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I've come to expect it
There's nothing left to fear, at least there's that
Face to face, and at my hands
I snowed you in with hydrocodone
Layer by layer, 'til you disappear
And I can't have you
Hell is finding someone to love
And I can't see you again
Wheeled you in, laid on your side
I cried and cried and at my signal
They stopped your heart and then you died
And under the fluorescence, into this still room
Where no-one ever tells you just how clinical death looks
And I can't unsee it, the two shots it took
Hell is finding someone to love
And I can't have you
Hell is finding someone to love
And I can't see you again
Hell is finding someone to love
And I can't feel you
Hell is finding someone to love
And I can't, I can't
The lyrics to Japanese Breakfast's song "In Hell" tell a story of loss and grief. The singer is facing the reality that someone they love is going to die soon, and they have come to expect it due to their "luck." Despite their fear, they find some solace in knowing that the person they love will no longer be in pain or suffering. The second verse describes the moment of their loved one's death - the singer had administered hydrocodone to them, layering it until they disappeared. This action is followed by the medical team stopping their heart and the person passing away. The final lines of the song describe the aftermath of the person's death, as the singer is forced to confront the harsh realities of clinical death and the permanent loss of their loved one.
Overall, the song captures the deeply painful emotions that come with losing someone you love. The singer grapples with the inevitability of their loved one's death and the helplessness they feel in the face of it. The lyrics touch on themes such as mortality, grief, and the struggle to find meaning in the face of tragedy.
Line by Line Meaning
With my luck you'll be dead within the year
Based on my track record, I predict that you will die within the next year.
I've come to expect it
I have grown accustomed to the probability of your death.
There's nothing left to fear, at least there's that
I am no longer afraid of your inevitable death, but there is some solace in that.
Face to face, and at my hands
I was present and responsible for your death.
I snowed you in with hydrocodone
I drugged you with hydrocodone, leading to your unconsciousness.
Layer by layer, 'til you disappear
I watched as you slowly slipped away and vanished from my life, both physically and emotionally.
Hell is finding someone to love
My experience of love has become synonymous with agony.
And I can't have you
The object of my love is unattainable or no longer alive.
And I can't see you again
I am unable to have any future experiences with you due to your death.
Wheeled you in, laid on your side
They brought your lifeless body into the hospital and laid you on your side.
I cried and cried and at my signal
I was inconsolable and gave the signal for them to perform the procedure to end your life.
They stopped your heart and then you died
The medical team performed the procedure to stop your heart, leading to your death.
And under the fluorescence, into this still room
In the bright lights of the operating room, in the presence of silence and stillness.
Where no-one ever tells you just how clinical death looks
No one ever conveys how sterile and clinical the process of dying is.
And I can't unsee it, the two shots it took
I cannot forget the sight of your life slipping away, represented by the two injections given to end your life.
And I can't feel you
I am unable to experience intimacy, either physical or emotional, with you any longer.
And I can't, I can't
I am incapable of moving past the intense grief and pain caused by your death.
Lyrics © SC PUBLISHING DBA SECRETLY CANADIAN PUB.
Written by: Michelle Chongmi Zauner
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind