Open Letter
Jay-Z (feat. Swizz Beatz) Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I can't pray
I can't even pray to my pastor
On my knees begging please can give you me an answer
Or a soul
Cause I lost my old one
And I could try hold one
But now my homes gone
So I'm out here all alone
I fell in love at the age of fourteen
When our dreams were aligned and i played for your team
Now I'm nineteen
And after all the things that I've seen Im a tiring man
And I'm entirely twisted
A tiring misfit
Tired of wishing
that my phone is gonna call and someone is gonna save me
I've been stuck up in this place so I guess it's time for me to change me
So
Who's jay
Tell me who's jay
Am I the man that parents would have hoped
Am I the boy who's gonna make it back home
Who's jay
Tell me who's jay
Am I the man that parents would have hoped
Am I the boy who's gonna make it back home
Nah I'm not I switched up
Did it for the gang
Twisted in the drugs it never made to a man
If I pray to God can he show me what's the plan
And if he can't I'll just pop another xan
Cause after all the Doja I've been smoking
Never gave me closure
Only made me closer to the edge
And after all these thoughts in my head
The demons on my back they tried to take me to the death
But no
They'll never kill me
The drugs never filled me
Fighting to the end cause the pain never thrilled me
The drugs are unfunfilling
And I see my cups spilling
They runneth over
So I'm running till it's over
So who's jay
Yeah who's jay
Am I the boy that my parents would have hoped
Am I the boy that's gonna make it back home
So is it real life or am I just at home in the night
My brother told me I'd recover and I hoped he was right
He's holding me tight telling me I've got Another life
But she left me in the dark and I need another light
Couldn't find it in myself I put my feelings on a shelf
Followed by the demons I've been healing in a hell
Shouting in the dark like I've been screaming in a well
And the waters getting deeper as the well is getting steeper
I can't breathe cause the water's in my lungs
Mother Nature said she loved me but she's slaughtering her son
It's just like I feared that I'm numb to my fears
The lyrics to Jay-Z (feat. Swizz Beatz)'s Open Letter deal with themes of loss, confusion, and addiction. The singer is grappling with the loss of their old self, as well as a sense of purpose and direction in their life. They are also struggling with addiction to drugs and the feeling of being lost and alone. Throughout the lyrics, they ask themselves who they are and what their purpose is, and they are unsure if they will ever find the answers.
The singer's confusion is reflected in the repetition of the lines "Who's jay/Tell me who's jay/Am I the man that parents would have hoped/Am I the boy who's gonna make it back home." They are trying to find their identity and figure out who they are supposed to be. At the same time, they acknowledge their mistakes and how they have strayed from the path others may have imagined for them. They mention falling in love at a young age and feeling lost and disconnected from that person they used to be.
The lyrics also allude to the singer's struggles with drugs and addiction. They feel that the drugs have not provided any sort of clarity or peace of mind, but have only made them more confused and closer to the edge. They ask if God can show them the plan, but ultimately acknowledge that they may have to figure it out on their own.
Overall, the lyrics to Open Letter present a raw and honest portrayal of someone struggling to find themselves and overcome their demons.
Line by Line Meaning
I can't see past all these pastures
I'm feeling stuck and can't move forward from my current situation
I can't pray
I've lost my connection to spirituality
I can't even pray to my pastor
Even the support system I used to have no longer satisfies me
On my knees begging please can give you me an answer
I'm desperate for guidance and seeking answers to my problems
Or a soul
I'm looking for someone to connect with and offer me emotional support
Cause I lost my old one
I've lost touch with my identity and who I used to be
And I could try hold one
I could attempt to find a new sense of self
But now my homes gone
I don't feel at home anywhere and am struggling to find a place of belonging
I lost all the hope that I'd make it back home
I'm losing faith that I can ever find my way back to a comfortable and stable life
So I'm out here all alone
I'm feeling isolated and unsupported
I fell in love at the age of fourteen
I experienced love at a young age
When our dreams were aligned and i played for your team
When our aspirations were in sync and I supported you
Now I'm nineteen
I'm older and wiser
And after all the things that I've seen Im a tiring man
I've been through a lot and am exhausted
And I'm entirely twisted
I'm confused and unsure of myself
A tiring misfit
I don't fit in anywhere and feel like an outsider
Tired of wishing
I'm tired of wanting things that seem unattainable
that my phone is gonna call and someone is gonna save me
I'm hoping for someone to come to my rescue and offer me a way out of my current situation
I've been stuck up in this place so I guess it's time for me to change me
I realize that I need to take control and change things on my own
Nah I'm not I switched up
I've changed and am not the same person I used to be
Did it for the gang
I changed my ways to fit in with a group of people
Twisted in the drugs it never made to a man
I turned to drugs, but they didn't help me become a better person
If I pray to God can he show me what's the plan
I'm searching for a greater purpose and hoping for divine intervention
And if he can't I'll just pop another xan
If I don't find the answers I'm seeking, I'll turn back to drugs for comfort
Cause after all the Doja I've been smoking
I've been smoking a lot of marijuana
Never gave me closure
Smoking weed didn't help me find peace of mind or closure
Only made me closer to the edge
Smoking weed made me feel more on edge and anxious
And after all these thoughts in my head
I can't turn off my racing thoughts
The demons on my back they tried to take me to the death
I'm plagued by inner demons that tempt me towards self-destruction
But no
Despite everything, I'm still alive
They'll never kill me
My demons won't win, I'll survive
The drugs never filled me
Drugs didn't provide me with the fulfillment I craved
Fighting to the end cause the pain never thrilled me
I'm fighting to survive despite the fact that the pain I'm feeling is far from enjoyable
The drugs are unfunfilling
Drugs are ultimately unsatisfying
And I see my cups spilling
I'm losing control over my own life
They runneth over
Everything feels like it's falling apart
So I'm running till it's over
I'm doing everything I can to keep going until the end
So who's jay
Who am I?
Tell me who's jay
I'm seeking answers to my identity
Am I the man that parents would have hoped
Am I living up to the expectations others had for me?
Am I the boy who's gonna make it back home
Will I ever find my way back to a life I recognize?
Yeah who's jay
I'm still searching for answers about myself
Nah I'm not I switched up
I've changed and evolved into a different person
Did it for the gang
I made changes to fit in with a particular group of people
Twisted in the drugs it never made to a man
My use of drugs has not helped me become a better or more mature person
So is it real life or am I just at home in the night
I'm questioning whether the reality of my life is real or just in my head
My brother told me I'd recover and I hoped he was right
I'm hopeful for a better future and trust in my brother's support
He's holding me tight telling me I've got Another life
My brother is guiding me towards a fresh start and new opportunities
But she left me in the dark and I need another light
Someone I trusted let me down and now I need new support in my life
Couldn't find it in myself I put my feelings on a shelf
I don't know how to cope with my emotions and have pushed them aside
Followed by the demons I've been healing in a hell
I'm haunted by my inner demons and trying to work through them
Shouting in the dark like I've been screaming in a well
I feel like no one can hear me or understand what I'm going through
And the waters getting deeper as the well is getting steeper
My problems feel like they're getting worse and harder to bear
I can't breathe cause the water's in my lungs
My problems are taking a physical and emotional toll on me
Mother Nature said she loved me but she's slaughtering her son
I feel like I'm being hurt by the world around me even though it's supposed to love and support me
It's just like I feared that I'm numb to my fears
I'm so used to my problems that I don't feel the full impact of my fears anymore
Lyrics © DistroKid
Written by: Jay Adebisi
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind