Where Have You Been
Jay-Z feat Beanie Sigel Lyrics

Damn how am I gonna say this shit?
I am struggling with how to express my feelings.

Hey, hey dad, yeah it's your boy
I am addressing my father and reminding him of my existence.

Remember me? I wanna talk to you scrap
I want to have a conversation with you, despite our past.

I remember being kicked out the house
I recall the time when you threw me out of the house.

'cause I looked just like you
You rejected me because I resembled you.

Said I'd be nothing but a crook
You predicted that I would become a criminal.

Just like you
In the same manner as you.

The niggaz in the hood was shook
The people in the neighborhood were scared.

Where the just like you
They saw me as similar to you.

'Cause all they said was little whitey look
They referred to me as a smaller version of you.

But dog I can't see it at all, shit
But I can't see the resemblance, to be honest.

We never kicked it at all
We never spent time together.

We never pitched or kicked at a ball
We never played sports together.

Dog, you never taught me shit
You never taught me anything.

How to fight, ride a bike, fix a flat
Basic skills like fighting, riding a bike, and fixing a flat tire.

None of that sorts of shit
You neglected to teach me any of those things.

Nigga you was an abusive pops
You were an abusive father.

Fuck you left me out to dry, stuck
You abandoned me in difficult situations.

Gotta teach news to box
I had to learn how to fight on my own.

Gotta teach news to bop
I had to teach myself how to dance.

And that aint the half of it man
And that's not even the worst of it.

I gotta teach news to block
I had to learn how to protect myself in a dangerous environment.

It's about time we have a father to son (nigga sit down)
We need to have a serious conversation as a father and son (please sit down).

Sit down let me tell you 'bout your fatherless sons
Listen to me as I explain the struggles of growing up without a father.

How they grew to be men and father they sons
Despite the absence of a father figure, they became responsible men and fathers.

Father they daughters
They also took care of their daughters.

Nigga, you left a fatherless daughter
You abandoned a daughter who grew up without a father.

I never follow your orders
I never obeyed your instructions.

Nigga you make me sick
Your actions disgust me.

Pussy you could, ooh
Coward, you could (implying violence).

How you gonna leave these memories in the back of my mind
How can you leave these painful memories that haunt me?

I can see it clear as day you smackin my mom
I vividly remember you physically abusing my mother.

I 'member that day you showed me that gat, that 9
I remember the day you showed me a gun, a 9mm.

Put it in my palm when I was young
You placed it in my hand when I was a child.

And said that would be mine, you turned me out
You told me it would be mine, but it had a negative influence on me.

The reason why I hit the block
This is why I started selling drugs on the streets.

Reason why I tried to hit them cops
This is why I attempted to harm the police.

Reason why I started hittin shots
This is why I resorted to shooting.

Reason why I started gettin licked
This is why I started using drugs excessively.

And drinkin syrup and skippin court
I started abusing codeine and avoiding court appearances.

Ginger bread man never think of gettin caught
I always avoided getting caught by the authorities.

Look at your hand man damn you fought
Look at your hand, it's full of scars from fighting.

Nigga you left my mom
You abandoned my mother.

Left us with no good-bye's
You didn't say goodbye to us.

You left us out to dry
You left us in a vulnerable and unsupported situation.

You left us with no letters, notes, (nothing!) no replies
You didn't leave us any form of communication or response.

No digits numbers was unlisted
You didn't give us any contact information.

You left us with some of my loneliest night
You left us with nights filled with loneliness.

Nigga some of my hungriest nights
Some nights, I didn't have enough to eat.

Shit, one of the reasons for years (shit embarrasin)
This was one of the reasons for my embarrassment and struggle for years.

Damn we used to think money was white
We used to associate money with a sense of purity and success.

Yeah you gave us life like, fruit from a plant
You may have given us life, but that's just the basic responsibility of a parent.

We aint eat right from them foods from them stamps
We didn't have proper nutrition because we relied on food stamps.

And to think you was my pop
To think that you were my father.

Man I gotta stop shit
I need to stop dwelling on this negative past.

Daddy, Where Have You Been?
Father, where have you been?

And when you come home, you got us here all alone
And when you finally come home, we are left alone without you.

Mommy, Where Daddy Went?
Mother, where did daddy go?

You always stick up for him
You always defended him.

Always said you'd make up for him
You constantly promised to compensate for his absence.

Mommy, What Happened Then?
Mother, what happened after that?

What was you cheatin on him?
Were you cheating on him?

Why he's always beatin' on you?
Why did he constantly abuse you?

Daddy, Where Have You Been?
Father, where have you been?

Nigga, you gonna hear me out
You are going to listen to what I have to say.

I wanted to walk just like him (remember?)
I desired to imitate him in every way.

Wanted to talk just like him (word)
I wanted to speak and express myself as he did.

Often momma said I look too much
My mother often told me that I resembled him too closely.

And I thought just like him (it could happen)
I even had similar thoughts and perspectives as him.

Wanted to drink Miller nips
I wanted to consume alcoholic beverages like he did.

And smoke Newports just like you
I desired to smoke the same brand of cigarettes as him.

But you left me, now I'm goin to court just like you
But you abandoned me, and now I find myself in legal trouble, just like you.

I would say 'my daddy loves me and he'll never go away'
I used to tell myself that my father loved me and would never leave.

Bullshit, do you even remember December's my birthday?
That's a lie, do you even remember that December is my birthday?

Do you even remember the tender boy
Do you have any recollection of the innocent child I used to be?

You turned into a cold young man
You transformed into an emotionally detached and distant person.

With one goal and one plan
With a single ambition and strategy.

Get mommy out of some jam, she was always in one
My goal was to rescue my mother from difficult situations, as she was constantly facing challenges.

Always short with the income
We never had enough money.

Always late with the rent
We were consistently behind on rent payments.

You said that you was comin through
You promised that you would come and help us.

I would stay in the hallway (waitin)
I would wait in the hallway for your arrival.

Always playin the bench (waitin)
I was always waiting on the bench, hoping for your presence.

And that day came and went
That day eventually arrived and passed without you showing up.

Fuck You! very much you showed me the worst kind of pain
Fuck you! You exposed me to the most intense and severe pain.

But I'm stronger and trust me I will never hurt again
However, I am now stronger and I assure you, I will never feel that pain again.

Will never ask mommy 'why daddy don't love me?
I will never question my mother again, asking why you don't love me.

Why is we so poor?, why is life so ugly?
I won't wonder anymore why we are so poor and why life is so difficult.

Mommy why is your eyes puffy?
Mother, why are your eyes swollen and red from crying?

Please don't cry everything'll be alright
I beg you not to cry, everything will be okay in the end.

I know it's dark now, but we gon' see the light
I understand that things may seem bleak now, but we will eventually find a brighter future.

It's us against the world
It's just us against everyone else.

We don't need him, right? (right)
We don't need him, do we? (Correct)

Mommy drivin 6's now (yeah), I got riches now (yeah)
Mother, she is driving luxury vehicles now, and I have acquired wealth.

I bought I nice home for both of my sisters now
I purchased a comfortable house for both of my sisters.

We doin real good
We are doing very well now.

We don't miss you now
We no longer feel the absence of your presence.

See how life twists around, fucker?
Look at how life has turned around, you asshole!

Daddy, Where Have You Been?
Father, where have you been?

And when you come home, you got us here all alone
And when you finally come home, we are left alone without you.

Mommy, Where Daddy Went?
Mother, where did daddy go?

You always stick up for him
You always defended him.

Always said you'd make up for him
You constantly promised to compensate for his absence.

Mommy, What Happened Then?
Mother, what happened after that?

What was you cheatin on him?
Were you cheating on him?

Why he's always beatin' on you?
Why did he constantly abuse you?

Daddy, Where Have You Been?
Father, where have you been?

Nigga, you gonna hear me out
You are going to listen to what I have to say.