Puppets
Peanut
Peanut is a purple woozle with purple fur, a small tuft of green hair on his head (which, according to Dunham, are Ostrich feathers), and only one shoe. Unlike most of Jeff Dunham's puppets, his eyes and eyebrows are immobile. This allows for a greater range of motion for his head. Peanut also has a rod attached to his left elbow which Jeff uses to operate and further the range of the puppet's movement.
According to his fictional biography, Peanut was born on an island in Micronesia in the Pacific Ocean near Guam and has five siblings (Eeny, Meeny, Miny and Fred). He never finished school. He moved to the United States in 1986. According to the official website, he met Jeff Dunham in central Texas, but according to Arguing With Myself, they met in Florida.
There is a special feature on the DVD showing Jeff Dunham's pet chihuahua humping the puppet. There is also an outtake where Peanut's green tuft of hair accidentally came out. Noticing a member in the audience who is also bald, Jeff hops offstage with Peanut and has Peanut hug the man and rub his head, jokingly "feeling his pain" so apparently, the nose is Velcroed on.
One of Peanut's trademarks is when he swings his hand over his head and says "Neeow!", talking about joke going over someone's head.
Walter
Walter is a retired and grumpy old man with arms always crossed in discontent. Married 46 years, he has a brash, negative, and often sarcastic view on today's world. He is a Vietnam War veteran, and "doesn't give a damn" about anyone; even his own wife.
Demonstrating improvisational comedy, Jeff sometimes does a segment at the end of Walter's routine in which Walter answers questions that the audience were asked to provide prior to the show.
To express Walter's utter "intolerant-of-everyone" nature, the DVD features a scene just before the Q&A segment where an audience member (named Mike) leaves to the restroom. In a huff, Walter unleashes insults at him until he returns, often simply referring to him as a dumbass. In the commentary track, Jeff describes that the stage lighting limits his ability to really see the audience and he could only see that someone was walking. As he talked to Mike's wife, he realized that Mike was a friend of his. Also on the DVD is an outtake with Walter which shows the puppet's arms falling uncrossed and limp at the sides. If that weren't enough, Jeff then forgets his place when he reconfigures Walter's arms. He admits to being slightly intoxicated on tequila at the time (a shot provided by friend Mike between shows), but somehow still maintains the laughter until he finds his place again.
Walter has also met many celebrities along with Jeff, such as Willie Nelson (who he is a fan of) and Jay Leno, and has appeared with Jeff on the Best Damn Sports Show Period, where he described his performance as "I got the brothers laughin and the crackers pissed".
Jose Jalapeño (on a stick)
Jose is a jalapeño pepper with a latino personality, a sombrero, and a mustache, whose running joke is adding "on a stick" to the end of most of his sentences. Jose's movement is restricted to one single motion of the mouth which Jeff operates by using his thumb on the back of Jose's infamous stick. Although hindered from doing much else, Jose makes up for his mobility loss with his characteristics, his singing ability, and most of all, his stick. He lives in a plain pine box, one of Jeff's original character storage trunks. Jose is usually brought out during Peanut's act and the two often get into an argument, with Jeff in the middle of it all. Jose has clarified that he is not Mexican but Cuban, and that he hails from Florida, although he once said that he's Puerto Rican and from New York City. Peanut has also given many humorous theories as to the stick, such as Jose mooning a javelin thrower or a freak pogo accident.
On Dunham's official site, On a Stick, it is revealed that Jose was in fact from Mexico and was part of a family of Jumping Jalapenos, and his act involved a pogo stick. He was practicing one day, slipped, and the pogo stick pierced his underside. Close to his heart, the pogo stick could not be removed safely, so they cut off the spring part, giving him his famous 'stick.'
Jose's parents are named Juan and Rosa Jalapeno.
Bubba J.
Bubba J. is one of Jeff's latest characters. He loves beer and NASCAR. The "J." is short for his last name, Junior, he is married, and is assumed to have at least one child. Odd as his characteristically redneck attitude is, what is even weirder is that the dummy can move just his left eye from center to left. Bears a notable resemblance to Mortimer Snerd.
He met his wife at the family reunion. After a while, her daddy proposed for him. They had the reception at Walmart, because "its easier to return da gifts". They were greeted by Walter.
Sweet Daddy D
Another new character in Jeff's arsenal, Sweet Daddy D is Jeff's "new manager" and is trying to school Jeff in street, often with much difficulty, to no avail, and with much dismay at Jeff's lack of knowledge of black slang. Sweet Daddy Dee wears a purple pimp suit and is bald underneath his removable hat. The dummy has movable eyes and eyebrows and can pull his upper lip back.
Melvin, the Superhero Guy
Melvin is an older character of Jeff's who isn't included in the DVD but does show up on the Comedy Central Presents episode. Albeit he has no real powers, he claims he'd be more of a superhero if it weren't for his large nose and small stature. He claims his arch nemesis is his wife, but only at certain times of the month when she "turns evil."
His costume is blue and yellow, with a D on it. He bought it on an online auction, and the highest bidder appears to be the only person that he's ever defeated. He doesn't know what the D stands for, but claims it to be his theme song (a musical "Du-du-du!"). However, Walter says the D stands for dumbass (and says that his theme song should be "du-du-DUMBASS!").
Achmed, the Dead Terrorist
Achmed is a skeleton-looking character that made a surprising appearance on Jeff's show during one of his comedy club tours in 2006. Achmed apparently martyred himself in the course of a suicide bombing, but lives on as a skeleton with facial hair. He apparently has problems keeping his feet on the stand and keeps shouting "Foot! Foot! Foot!" to Jeff to keep his feet up. He has a white bandana that he says was made from boxers. He also shouts "I'll kill you" or "Silence!" to people who make fun of him.
Mini Jeff
Actually Peanut's puppet (and scaled so), Mini Jeff is a small puppet that resembles Jeff down to the brown tie he was wearing at the time. Mini Jeff is rude and interrupting, but puts the 'On a stick' phrase at the end of Jose's sentences when he forgets to. The only real physical difference between Jeff and Mini Jeff is that Mini Jeff's voice is deeper. Jeff can control Peanut and Mini Jeff simultaneously with the same hand, ultimately making his capacity for puppets up to three.
American Woman
Jeff Dunham Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
(Cheers and applause)
So, uh Achmed, why are you dressed like this?
(Gasps) You told me to dress like the scariest thing I could think of.
What are you? I am a woman!
(Laughter)
Just a woman?
Worse. An American Women.
Ha, ha! Silence?! Impossible
(Laughter)
What′s so scary about an American woman?
(Gasps) They can vote.
(Laughter and applause)
Yeah, and they can can drive.
Not the Asian ones.
(Laughter)
That is incredibly racist.
Yet factually correct.
(Laughter)
How do you know? I learned it from Cosmo.
Cosmo.
I took the quiz. The quiz?
Yes, the quiz, "Are you a racist bitch?"
I see. And guess what?
What? Ta da!
(Laughter and applause)
So what else scares you the most about American Woman?
Besides everything?
The money. The money.
You marry an American Women,
And in no time... All your money for bombs is gone.
(Laughter)
She blows money on shoes, I have no money to blow up the Jews.
(Laughter and applause)
What?!
I don't mean just the Jews. But rhymed, shoes and Jews.
I could have said, you know, slacks and blacks.
(Laughter)
But Jews is funnier. And I like black folks
Oh, we White Chicks love the black guys
(Laughter and applause)
I think the expression is once you go black.
You never go back to white guys or
Medium to small animals. something like that.
(Laughter and applause)
Hey, I see you looking at me. (Laughter)
What do you think?
Um, nice hair.
(Gasps) Oh, yes, and I promise you, the drapes match the carpet
(Laughter) What? I was talking about my beard, you idiots!
I don′t have carpet carpet.
The above lyrics are from Jeff Dunham's stand-up comedy routine where he assumes the role of Achmed the Dead Terrorist, a puppet character he created. In this particular routine, Achmed is dressed in drag as an American woman, which he declares as the scariest thing he could think of. Dunham then proceeds to ask what about American women is so scary, to which Achmed responds that they can vote and drive, but adds a racist stereotype that Asian women cannot drive. The audience laughs and cheers, proving the point made in the lyrics that silence is impossible.
The routine continues with Achmed expressing his fear of marrying an American woman as they would eventually consume all of his money, leaving him penniless and unable to finance his terrorist operations. He jokingly rhymes "shoes" with "Jews" and adds that he does not mean just Jews, but the word is funnier than other options such as "slacks and blacks." The routine ends with Achmed making a flirtatious remark about how his drapes match the carpet, but quickly clarifies that he was talking about his beard.
Line by Line Meaning
Greetings, Savannah infidels!
Jeff Dunham greets the audience with a joke implying that they are infidels, meaning non-believers, in a humorous way.
So, uh Achmed, why are you dressed like this?
Jeff Dunham asks his puppet, Achmed the Dead Terrorist, why he is dressed like a woman, setting up the premise for the skit.
What are you? I am a woman!
Achmed responds to Jeff's question by sarcastically stating that he is a woman, which is unexpected coming from a male terrorist puppet.
Just a woman?
Jeff responds to Achmed with a tone that suggests he is surprised that the puppet is dressed as a woman.
Worse. An American Women.
Achmed explains that he is dressed as an American woman, implying that being an American woman is worse than simply being a woman.
Ha, ha! Silence?! Impossible
Jeff Dunham comments on the laughter in the audience, jokingly saying that there could never be silence in response to his comedy.
What′s so scary about an American woman?
Jeff asks Achmed why he thinks an American woman is scary, setting up the punchline.
They can vote.
Achmed answers Jeff's question by implying that the ability of American women to vote is scary to him as a terrorist puppet.
Yeah, and they can can drive.
Jeff makes another joke about American women, highlighting their freedom and independence by implying that they are able to drive cars.
Not the Asian ones.
Achmed makes a racist joke about Asian women, suggesting that they are not able to drive as well as American women.
That is incredibly racist.
Jeff Dunham responds to Achmed's racist comment by sarcastically pointing out the problematic nature of the joke.
Yet factually correct.
Achmed doubles down on his joke about Asian women driving, despite the fact that it is problematic, by stating that it is factually correct.
How do you know? I learned it from Cosmo.
Achmed responds to Jeff's skepticism about his joke by claiming that he learned it from the popular women's magazine, Cosmopolitan.
Cosmo.
Achmed emphasizes the source of his joke by simply repeating the name of the magazine, which is well-known for providing dating and relationship advice to women.
I took the quiz. The quiz?
Achmed explains further that he learned his joke from taking a quiz in Cosmopolitan, which adds to the absurdity of the situation.
Yes, the quiz, "Are you a racist bitch?"
Achmed reveals the name of the quiz he took in Cosmopolitan, which is presented as a humorous take on the magazine's typical quizzes and articles.
I see. And guess what? What? Ta da!
Achmed builds up the punchline of his joke by adding a dramatic pause before revealing the answer, which is presented as a surprise and a joke within a joke.
So what else scares you the most about American Woman? Besides everything? The money. The money.
Achmed responds to Jeff's question by jokingly listing the many things that scare him about American women, with money being the punchline.
You marry an American Women, And in no time... All your money for bombs is gone.
Achmed builds on his joke about money by suggesting that if a terrorist were to marry an American woman, she would spend all his money on frivolous things instead of bombs.
She blows money on shoes, I have no money to blow up the Jews.
Achmed adds another layer to his joke about money and terrorism by rhyming the words 'shoes' and 'Jews', which is presented as a punchline for its humor and wordplay.
What?! I don't mean just the Jews. But rhymed, shoes and Jews.
Jeff Dunham responds to Achmed's controversial joke by acknowledging that it is unexpected and funny, while also clarifying that the joke is not meant to be taken literally or seriously.
I could have said, you know, slacks and blacks.
Achmed offers an alternative to his controversial joke by suggesting that he could have rhymed other words, like 'slacks' and 'blacks', but implies that the joke wouldn't be as funny or effective.
But Jews is funnier. And I like black folks
Achmed defends his joke by stating that, in his opinion, rhyming 'Jews' is funnier than other options, and by adding that he actually likes black people despite his controversial humor.
Oh, we White Chicks love the black guys
Jeff Dunham introduces a new element to the joke by having his other puppet, Sweet Daddy Dee, make a comment about white women being attracted to black men, which sets up another punchline.
I think the expression is once you go black. You never go back to white guys or Medium to small animals. something like that.
Sweet Daddy Dee continues the joke by providing the well-known expression about African American men and adding a humorous twist at the end by suggesting that a white woman might be interested in a medium to small animal.
Hey, I see you looking at me. (Laughter) What do you think? Um, nice hair.
Jeff Dunham returns to the original joke by having Achmed ask him for his opinion, to which Jeff responds with a humorous non-sequitur about Achmed's hair.
(Gasps) Oh, yes, and I promise you, the drapes match the carpet (Laughter) What? I was talking about my beard, you idiots!
Achmed reacts to Jeff's comment about his hair by adding another twist to the joke and implying that he was actually talking about his beard, which is why he made the comment about the drapes matching the carpet.
I don′t have carpet carpet.
Achmed clarifies that he doesn't actually have carpeting in his house, which is another layer to the joke and a way to keep it fresh and interesting for the audience.
Contributed by Camden Y. Suggest a correction in the comments below.