Joanna counts among her strongest influences those singer/songwriters who are not only exceptional musicians and artists, but are also, to one degree or another, extraordinary lyricists expressing a truly personal vision - Kate Bush, Bjork, Joni Mitchell, Sting, Sarah McLachlan, Tori Amos, Annie Lennox, Missy Higgins, Fiona Apple, Tom Waits - along with the heartfelt simplicity of Jewel or Dido.
Joanna's solo debut "Breaking the Habit" was released in February 2004 and has garnered rave reviews across the globe and generated a healthy internet presence, selling well on amazon and cdbaby, on itunes and at independent outlets. Joanna placed in the July round of "Song of the Month" and was a recommended artist in the VH1 International Songwriting contest; going on to win "Song of the Month" in August 2004 with her innovative track "Past Unconditional". She was featured on the October 4th "My Day" interview segment of BBC Radio in the UK; and in December 2004 she was awarded the Muse's Muse awards for Best Adult Contemporary Artist 2004 and Best Adult Contemporary Song 2004 (for "Rainbow", her ironic paean to Prozac). Joanna's songs have been featured on various primetime television series, including "The Unit" on CBS. To learn more, click here for www.joannamcmeikan.com
Clean
Joanna McMeikan Lyrics
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Count your every waking breath,
Always new ways to obsess,
How did I get this sickness?
I think your power is absolute,
I tear my hair out by the roots,
And nothing I do bears any fruit,
Like a bad dream,
Like a slip of the tongue,
You try to hit rewind,
But the damage is done,
Cruel disease,
You don't want me,
But I kinda let you be,
So it never ends clean,
Cruel disease,
You're my nicotine,
And I kinda let you be,
So it never ends clean,
No no,
Twisted chrysalis,
But there is no escaping this,
I'm dancing over the abyss,
How did I get this sickness?
Like a dead-end road,
Like a misfired gun,
You try to take it back,
But the bullet is long gone,
Cruel disease,
You don't want me,
But I kinda let you be,
So it never ends clean,
Cruel disease,
You're my nicotine,
And I kinda let you be,
So it never ends clean,
There's no way out of this,
There's no way out of this,
No way out of this cruel disease,
You don't want me,
But I kinda let you be,
So it never ends clean,
Cruel disease,
You're my nicotine,
And I kinda let you be,
So it never ends clean,
Cruel disease,
You don't want me,
But I kinda let you be,
So it never ends clean,
Cruel disease,
You're my nicotine,
And I kinda let you be,
So it never ends clean...
Well, the damage is done,
The damage is already done,
I'm so far gone.
The song "Clean" by Joanna McMeikan speaks about the act of obsessing over someone or something to a point where it becomes a hindrance. The lyrics describe the singer's struggle with an obsessive love that has taken over her mind and poisoned her. She analyzes every move of the person she loves and is almost powerless to stop herself from being consumed by it. The chorus likens this obsession to a cruel disease that never ends clean. The singer is aware of the damage it has caused, but it is too late, and she is too far gone.
In the second verse, the singer describes herself as being in a twisted chrysalis, unable to escape the sickness that has taken over her. She compares the feeling to being on a dead-end road, with no chance of turning back. The chorus repeats itself, emphasizing the inescapable nature of this obsession and the damage it has already caused.
The song's theme of a love that has become a sickness is relatable to many people who have experienced unrequited or obsessive love. The dark and haunting nature of the lyrics is reinforced by the use of a minor key and an almost mournful melody. The repetition of the chorus drives home the message that this kind of love never ends clean.
Line by Line Meaning
I analyze you to death,
I examine and scrutinize you until the point of exhaustion.
Count your every waking breath,
I monitor every breath you take while you're awake.
Always new ways to obsess,
I constantly find new things to fixate on and worry about regarding you and our relationship.
How did I get this sickness?
I wonder how I became so consumed and controlled by my obsessive thoughts and feelings for you.
I think your power is absolute,
I believe that your influence over me is total and undeniable.
I tear my hair out by the roots,
I become deeply distressed and upset, sometimes to the point of physically harming myself.
And nothing I do bears any fruit,
I feel like all of my efforts to change or improve our relationship are futile and unsuccessful.
How did I get in this mess?
I am confused and dismayed by how I ended up in such an unhealthy and obsessive relationship with you.
Like a bad dream,
My relationship with you feels like a nightmare that I can't seem to wake up from.
Like a slip of the tongue,
My relationship with you feels like an accidental mistake that I can't take back.
You try to hit rewind,
You, or perhaps I, attempt to undo or reverse the harm that has been done to our relationship.
But the damage is done,
The harm that has been done to our relationship cannot be undone or fixed completely.
Cruel disease,
My obsessive thoughts and feelings towards you are like an illness that is taking over my mind and actions.
You don't want me,
You do not reciprocate my intense feelings of love and infatuation towards you.
But I kinda let you be,
I enable and even encourage my own obsessive thoughts and feelings towards you, despite knowing that they are unhealthy and unwelcome.
So it never ends clean,
Our relationship and my feelings towards you will never end harmoniously or smoothly because of my obsessive tendencies.
You're my nicotine,
My obsession with you is like an addiction that is difficult to break.
Twisted chrysalis,
My transformation and growth as an individual is being stunted and derailed by my obsessive thoughts and feelings towards you.
But there is no escaping this,
I feel trapped and unable to break free from my overwhelming obsession with you.
I'm dancing over the abyss,
I am teetering on the edge of mental and emotional instability because of my obsessive tendencies.
Like a dead-end road,
My relationship with you feels like a hopeless and irreversible path that leads nowhere positive.
Like a misfired gun,
My relationship with you feels like a mistake or misfire that has caused more harm than good.
You try to take it back,
We or perhaps I attempt to undo the negative effects and harm that has been done to our relationship.
But the bullet is long gone,
The harm that has been done to our relationship cannot be undone or fixed completely.
There's no way out of this,
I feel stuck and helpless in my obsessive thoughts and feelings towards you.
No way out of this cruel disease,
My obsession with you feels like an inescapable and harmful illness.
The damage is already done,
The harm that has been done to our relationship cannot be undone or fixed completely and has already had a negative impact.
I'm so far gone.
My obsessive thoughts and feelings have consumed and taken over my life to the point where it may be difficult for me to fully recover and move forward.
Contributed by Annabelle B. Suggest a correction in the comments below.