His music initially gained popularity on New York City's famous mixtape circuit in 2002. Although his biggest mainstream hit to-date is 2003's up-tempo "Pump It Up," Budden is known for his reflective and often insecure lyrics. He is widely considered one of hip-hop's most gifted lyricists, thanks largely in part to his numerous works on mixtapes by such DJ's as DJ Clue, Clinton Sparks, DJ On Point, and DJ Envy.
On one particular mixtape song, called "Crosscountry Connection", Joe started a feud with the G-Unit camp. The Game took offense to a line where Joe claims that gangsta rappers should "be in a G-Unit video with all the gangsta actors", obviously claiming G-Unit are fake gangstas. Unbeknownst to Budden, The Game had just recently signed with the G-Unit camp. The Game and G-Unit fired a few diss songs Budden's way; he replied in kind. The feud was ended when The Game and Budden met in a club in New York City and put the past aside.
During winter and spring of 2005, through Joe Budden mixtapes and hip-hop rumor mills, it was said that he departed from Def Jam to Roc-A-Fella Records with CEO Damon Dash. In reality, Budden was legally obligated to stay with Def Jam. In the beginning of Budden's career, it took him a long time to get public exposure, working more than three years from the first time his demo tapes were heard to the first time he was on the radio. He has appeared on many tracks with other artists including 112, Amerie, Brandy, Cassidy, Fabolous, Fat Joe, Freeway, Janet Jackson, Jay-Z, Jennifer Lopez, Jin, Kelly Rowland, Lil' Kim, LL Cool J, Marques Houston, Usher, and more recently a remix to the hit song "Hollaback Girl" with Gwen Stefani. Some of these were not official remixes, simply mixtape tracks where a Joe Budden verse was added to an existing song.
Though he is thought of as one of rap's most skilled lyricists, Budden's success outside of the mixtape circuit has been marginal purposely. He is known to have invested in real estate in North Jersey and instead of blowing up into the rap scene he decided to make money from other methods instead of getting a record deal. His music is usually more sensitive and thought provoking than that of gangsta rappers, but subsequently, it is also more explicit and unrelenting than most "conscious" or "backpack" rappers.
In late December of 2005, Joe released a mixtape after almost 5 months of being absent from the game. Mood Muzik 2 is considered by most to be a lyrical masterpiece and with so deep tracks such as "Dumb Out" and the emotional "3 Sides to a Story" (in which Joe harrowingly describes a disturbing situation), many wondered had these songs originally been scheduled to appear on The Growth.
In 2007, he was released by Def Jam. In December 2007, he released Mood Muzik 3, which many are calling the best mixtape of the year, with some even saying it's the album of the year since it contains all original material. Some have questioned this since the beat for 'Ventilation' is an edit of 'It's A Shame (Da Butcher's Mix)' by Kool G Rap.
In October 2008, Joe Budden released another highly-rated mixtape, Halfway House; featuring album cuts such as 'Touch & Go' and a snippet of 'Blood On The Wall', a diss to Prodigy of Mobb Deep.
In his career up to his 2nd album, he has worked with artists such as Busta Rhymes and Christina Milian, and has been involved in feuds with rapper The Game and G-Unit. He has since reconciled with The Game.
Since this reconciliation, Joe Budden signed to Amalgam Digital records, and both artists finalized the beef and have collaborated on the single 'The Future' for Joe Budden's now-released 2nd album, Padded Room. The album released February 24th in the U.S. and March 3rd in Canada.
Alive
Joe Budden Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Parks on the board
Real niggas in the booth, let's go
I got Kdot on the keys
It go (it go)
Check this, listen
I got strangers in my face
Still self-centered, they can give a fuck 'bout how a nigga feel
Bitches hang around to hang around even when shit get real
But I ain't left nothin', maybe I should write a different will
They usin' me I'm usin' them, they don't see the angle
Therapeutic, I don't even fuck 'em unless it's painful
Why do all these bitches seem to think they can change Joe?
Judge me all you want I never claim to be an angel
Patriotic, psychotic, obsessive-compulsive, convulsive, neurotic
On narcotics, searchin' for you if you got it
Seein' young blacks gettin' killed weekly that's a moot fact
If these coppers shoot at me, trust me I'mma shoot back
Maybe y'all 'll pray for me
But I don't mean once or even twice, I mean every day for me
So I'm on my knees, there's gotta be a better way for me
Open these windows and these doors but demons stay with me
And baby that's okay with me
I came in with my heart, what made you wanna leave?
Fuck with my heart and now it's killin' me
This be enough to make a nigga cry
I wish 'em well until this runnin' dry
They won't ever take me alive
All I ever do is survive
And I know cause they already tried
It's too late cause I've already died
At least inside, they'll never take me alive
Lemme get far as fuck away from these niggas
Fuck away from these hoes
Where I'm at now its fuck music I don't wanna rap
I don't wanna perform or host
And my father's sayin' "get it together" and nothin' matters but my health
Hope heaven reserved a section for an addict like myself
Watchin' myself on TV see my knees shaking on that show
Plus the way shorty's life is now, I bet she's rethinking that "no"
She thought she was only sayin' no to marriage
But that "no" is to so much more, now I can't wait to see what her path is
I guess being a wife ain't sound as fun as bein' a bad bitch
Couldn't deal with my habits, wasn't me though you'd been catfish
We're speakin' a different language
Showin' you the signs in morse code
Last time a nigga loved two bitches I lost 'em both
So she scared, try not to get emotionally invested
I know God will find a way for those emotions to get tested
Which is cool, maybe not for me
Front all you want in your heart somewhere
I know there's a spot for me
The sad part is when it's vacant, I'll be gone
How I love you but I hate you
And all you're doing is being the person that I made you
From hateful to graceful
From rageful to grateful
Then God came and snatched that space for you
I tried to save it boo
Everything I caught myself building to that point was made for two
Writing out the script, wish you'd a told me the page was full
But fuck it, He knows better than I
Regret'll subside, let's sever the ties
After all it's just one less goodbye
I came in with my heart, what made you wanna leave?
Fuck with my heart and now it's killin' me
This be enough to make a nigga cry
I wish 'em well until this runnin' dry
They won't ever take me alive
All I ever do is survive
And I know cause they already tried
It's too late cause I've already died
At least inside, they'll never take me alive
Lemme get far as fuck away from these bitches
Fuck away from these hoes
Lemme get far as fuck away from my niggas
Lemme get real close to my foes
They tellin' me that I gotta act famous now, etcetera
I been regular, so I feel like an anus now
See all of this time I've just been treatin' y'all accordingly
On an even plane like no one is any less or more than me
But the Lord agrees he said, "keep playin' with fire, if you're Joseph you'll get burned"
I hate second guessing I'll wait 'til the motives get confirmed
(..)
Call from the shorty, we off that bitch, option time
Models, sport some
All these cities, I got to tour one
All these bottles, I got to pour one
All these hoes, i got to call one
Our situation is a tall one, what you gonna do, pour or run?
So I'm spending forty thousand dollars on a time-piece
Help my self esteem and get this shit up off my mind please
Anybody lookin' for me, y'all know where to find me
I be right up Steinway nigga I ain't playing hide and seek
Let that liquor induce ya, then watch how fast it go from a couple niggas on the hookah
To some triggers, to them shooters, everything that's going on is kinda sicker than I'm used to
I'm just wrestling with them snakes, you ever kick it with Medusa?
Let me get the fuck away from these pills
The fuck away from this drinkin'
Let me get the fuck away outta my way
Let me get far as fuck away from my thinkin'
'Till it's better, it's whatever, shit I'm unapologetic
Since all i got is my word nigga tell 'em that i said it
It's Joe
I came in with my heart, what made you wanna leave?
Fuck with my heart and now it's killin' me
This be enough to make a nigga cry
I wish 'em well until this runnin' dry
They won't ever take me alive
All I ever do is survive
And I know cause they already tried
It's too late cause I've already died
At least inside, they'll never take me alive
Uhh, uhh, uhh
It go
I came in with my heart, what made you wanna leave?
Fuck with my heart and now it's killin' me
This be enough to make a nigga cry
I wish 'em well until this runnin' dry
They won't ever take me alive
All I ever do is survive
And I know cause they already tried
It's too late cause I've already died
At least inside, they'll never take me alive
In Joe Budden's song "Alive", he talks about the struggles he faces being in the public eye and dealing with the people who surround him. He expresses his feelings of being used while he uses others, the pain of losing someone he cared about, and his desire to get away from the negative environment and people. He questions why people try to change who he is and says he never proclaimed to be an angel, he's just being himself. He touches on the societal issues facing the Black community, including police brutality, and how he is prepared to defend himself against it. He also mentions his addiction struggles and the importance of his health over his career. Ultimately, he acknowledges that he has died inside but will never be taken alive.
One interesting fact about the song is that it was originally intended as a diss track towards Kendrick Lamar after a perceived slight from the rapper, but Budden ended up changing the lyrics to reflect his personal struggles. Another fact is that the background vocals are provided by Emanny, a long-time collaborator and close friend of Budden's. The song was also produced by Parks, who is Budden's former Slaughterhouse groupmate. Budden has stated that the line "Writing out the script, wish you'd told me the page was full" was originally a reference to his ex-fiancée Cyn Santana, but he changed it to fit the overall theme of the song. Another interesting fact is that the song's chorus interpolates "I Can't Wait" by Nu Shooz. Additionally, Budden initially didn't want to include the song on his album "All Love Lost" because it was too personal for him, but was convinced to by his team.
The chords for the song are not publicly available at the time of writing.
To sum up, "Alive" by Joe Budden is a deeply personal song about struggles with addiction, relationships, and navigating the public eye. The song has gone through several iterations before becoming the final product that a lot of people could relate to. The lyrics are heartfelt and reflective, showing the artist's vulnerability and introspective nature. Overall, it is a powerful addition to Budden's discography.
Line by Line Meaning
I got strangers in my face
Beggin' me to take a picture
People I don't know ask for selfies with me.
Still self-centered, they can give a fuck 'bout how a nigga feel
They are selfish and don't care about my feelings.
Therapeutic, I don't even fuck 'em unless it's painful
Sex is only worth having if it's painful for me.
Judge me all you want I never claim to be an angel
I don't pretend to be perfect, so go ahead and judge me.
Seein' young blacks gettin' killed weekly that's a moot fact
If these coppers shoot at me, trust me I'mma shoot back
Young black people are being killed all the time, so if a cop shoots at me, I'll defend myself.
But I don't mean once or even twice, I mean every day for me
So I'm on my knees, there's gotta be a better way for me
I need people to pray for me every day because I'm struggling.
Where I'm at now its fuck music I don't wanna rap
I don't wanna perform or host
I don't feel like being a musician or entertainer right now.
And my father's sayin' "get it together" and nothin' matters but my health
Hope heaven reserved a section for an
addict like myself
My dad wants me to get my act together and recover from addiction, hopefully there's a place for me in heaven.
I know God will find a way for those emotions to get tested
Which is cool, maybe not for me
God will test your emotions, but that might not be good for me.
From hateful to graceful
From rageful to grateful
I went from being hateful and rageful, to graceful and grateful thanks to God.
So I'm spending forty thousand dollars on a time-piece
Help my self esteem and get this shit up off my mind please
I'm going to spend 40k on a watch to feel better about myself and stop thinking about other stuff.
Let me get far as fuck away from my thinkin'
'Till it's better, it's whatever, shit I'm unapologetic
I want to get away from my thoughts until I feel better, and until then, I won't apologize for anything.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: Joe Buddend
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind