His music initially gained popularity on New York City's famous mixtape circuit in 2002. Although his biggest mainstream hit to-date is 2003's up-tempo "Pump It Up," Budden is known for his reflective and often insecure lyrics. He is widely considered one of hip-hop's most gifted lyricists, thanks largely in part to his numerous works on mixtapes by such DJ's as DJ Clue, Clinton Sparks, DJ On Point, and DJ Envy.
On one particular mixtape song, called "Crosscountry Connection", Joe started a feud with the G-Unit camp. The Game took offense to a line where Joe claims that gangsta rappers should "be in a G-Unit video with all the gangsta actors", obviously claiming G-Unit are fake gangstas. Unbeknownst to Budden, The Game had just recently signed with the G-Unit camp. The Game and G-Unit fired a few diss songs Budden's way; he replied in kind. The feud was ended when The Game and Budden met in a club in New York City and put the past aside.
During winter and spring of 2005, through Joe Budden mixtapes and hip-hop rumor mills, it was said that he departed from Def Jam to Roc-A-Fella Records with CEO Damon Dash. In reality, Budden was legally obligated to stay with Def Jam. In the beginning of Budden's career, it took him a long time to get public exposure, working more than three years from the first time his demo tapes were heard to the first time he was on the radio. He has appeared on many tracks with other artists including 112, Amerie, Brandy, Cassidy, Fabolous, Fat Joe, Freeway, Janet Jackson, Jay-Z, Jennifer Lopez, Jin, Kelly Rowland, Lil' Kim, LL Cool J, Marques Houston, Usher, and more recently a remix to the hit song "Hollaback Girl" with Gwen Stefani. Some of these were not official remixes, simply mixtape tracks where a Joe Budden verse was added to an existing song.
Though he is thought of as one of rap's most skilled lyricists, Budden's success outside of the mixtape circuit has been marginal purposely. He is known to have invested in real estate in North Jersey and instead of blowing up into the rap scene he decided to make money from other methods instead of getting a record deal. His music is usually more sensitive and thought provoking than that of gangsta rappers, but subsequently, it is also more explicit and unrelenting than most "conscious" or "backpack" rappers.
In late December of 2005, Joe released a mixtape after almost 5 months of being absent from the game. Mood Muzik 2 is considered by most to be a lyrical masterpiece and with so deep tracks such as "Dumb Out" and the emotional "3 Sides to a Story" (in which Joe harrowingly describes a disturbing situation), many wondered had these songs originally been scheduled to appear on The Growth.
In 2007, he was released by Def Jam. In December 2007, he released Mood Muzik 3, which many are calling the best mixtape of the year, with some even saying it's the album of the year since it contains all original material. Some have questioned this since the beat for 'Ventilation' is an edit of 'It's A Shame (Da Butcher's Mix)' by Kool G Rap.
In October 2008, Joe Budden released another highly-rated mixtape, Halfway House; featuring album cuts such as 'Touch & Go' and a snippet of 'Blood On The Wall', a diss to Prodigy of Mobb Deep.
In his career up to his 2nd album, he has worked with artists such as Busta Rhymes and Christina Milian, and has been involved in feuds with rapper The Game and G-Unit. He has since reconciled with The Game.
Since this reconciliation, Joe Budden signed to Amalgam Digital records, and both artists finalized the beef and have collaborated on the single 'The Future' for Joe Budden's now-released 2nd album, Padded Room. The album released February 24th in the U.S. and March 3rd in Canada.
Black Cloud
Joe Budden Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Check this, check it
Something must've changed me, niggas might defame me
But things that used to taint me, no longer seem to restrain me
Strangely I'm no longer sad, mad or angry
Shame-ably it pains me, feeling like this just ain't me
Mainly those who ordain me, aside from can you blame me
Motivation again was supplying me is no longer providing me
Jason Williams something killed whatever was driving me
Worrying less about the past more about the now
Less about what I'm going through more about the how
It's for certain it's been thirty years being fit for hurting
Now I'm a different person with nothing to overcome in the mist of burdens
For certain, got 6 figures in my sock drawer
And honestly this year I expect to make a lot more
It's hard to live without a budget when life is corrupted
In a house that's so peaceful that I'm trying to disrupt it
Scream fuck it not because I have to but because I love it
Which makes me as fake as the puppets that I speak of disgusted
Without a paddle up shit's creek
Dig deep and see it ain't life it's just me
So be warned as I'm putting on like I'm deformed
Only so y'all can accept it as being my norm
Maybe I quit working on me, maybe I given up
Maybe I been lying to myself maybe I give a fuck.
[Chorus]
It's enough to make you black out, pull a mac out
Aim it at the sky while I'm running from a black cloud
Every day we playin' cat and mouse as I watch it hoverin' over my glass house
It's enough to make you spazz out, pull a mac out
Aim it at the sky while I'm running from a black cloud
Tired enough for me to pass out, tired of running from the black cloud.
I say it loud hoping someone can hear me clearly
Trying to make my girl get it she don't know that it's very scary
But she's a nympho she can come barely near me
She still want the God in her, think she's mary mary
The prettiest bitches just want to service me
While niggas prettiest bitches wouldn't get a word from me
Some of you haven't heard from me, some of you wouldn't mind murking me
Found that news funny likes its straight from Ron Burgundy
These niggas ain't never seen dough
They can't dream though I bump into 'em in between shows
People say I'm emo, what that really mean though?
Is though the song can't breathe I actually make it seem so
I lost loved ones because they couldn't deal with me
Cherish whoever still with me though the marriage be killed in me
Normally it's just me and my lonely mind
Everyone storm is different so this forecast is only mine
Fans recognize my misery uplifted me
Shifted me to my epitome, guess the curse is a gift to me
Maybe it's serendipity, maybe it's weighing on me physically
Maybe I should man up and tell God not to solicit me
Been medicated, meditated
Sedated, hated
Character assassinated, all theses years I masqueraded
Hard headed, if it was on my mind I had to say it
Tongue on the devil's pitchfork to see how disaster tasted
Rap is fabricated, rappers are so exaggerated
Wouldn't be scared of the truth if they weren't castrated
Grab a mag, spray it, surrounded by people to shoot it before me
Better unconditionally love my beautiful ugly
Now lemme speak to who I cater to
Would you love me to sang before my weeks were not favorable
Promised to maintain being unique but relatable
All while suffering from a disease that could do away with you
Poetry on the beat, spoken-word for the masses
Therapy over pro-tools, every word is on acid
Consonants on Kush, every vowel is blunted
Highly wanted this whole organization privately funded
This is bigger than the Eiffle, this is alert to public
Had a cop us by our tunnels and our bridges with the rifle
Sentences meant to stifle, this is a man aching
This is the dam breaking, contraband in the making
This is panic unveiling, got potential but I never met it
He be trying to come over, it seem like God won't let it
Either he never got my invite or he just dismissed it
But if all I'm hearing are the sounds of blackness, why am I pessimistic?
You'll never progress if you'll never try
All I ask, let every word I birth never die
My wings spread, but when I'm at the sky
Weather didn't change like I thought and had me petrified.
[Chorus]
The song "Black Cloud" by Joe Budden deals with themes of change, self-discovery, and mental health. The lyrics suggest that the singer has undergone a major transformation, which has resulted in him feeling liberated from negative emotions such as sadness, anger, and shame. However, this newfound freedom also causes him to question his identity and purpose, as he wonders if he has given up on himself or if his current state is a facade.
The chorus of the song references a "black cloud" that hovers over the singer's life, causing him to feel overwhelmed and vulnerable. He considers the possibility of "pull[ing] a mac out," or using a gun to protect himself. This imagery highlights the intense pressure that the singer feels, as he struggles to come to terms with his changing circumstances.
Overall, "Black Cloud" presents a raw and honest portrayal of the challenges that come with personal growth and healing. The lyrics encourage listeners to confront their own demons and to seek help when needed, emphasizing the importance of mental health awareness and self-care.
Line by Line Meaning
Nothing stays the same forever, not even me
Joe reflects that people and circumstances in his life undergo a change, and so does he.
Something must've changed me, niggas might defame me
Joe acknowledges that he has transformed and other people may not recognize him anymore.
But things that used to taint me, no longer seem to restrain me
Joe doesn't let past events affect him or hold him back anymore.
Strangely I'm no longer sad, mad or angry
Joe has come to terms with his emotions and doesn't experience negative feelings anymore.
Shame-ably it pains me, feeling like this just ain't me
Joe doesn't know how to deal with his lack of emotions and feels guilty for feeling different.
Mainly what do I tell all the people that thanked me
Joe is worried about how his change in behavior will affect the people around him who supported him.
Motivation again was supplying me is no longer providing me
Joe had a source of motivation before but it no longer drives him.
Jason Williams something killed whatever was driving me
Joe references NBA player Jason Williams who lost his basketball career due to a motorcycle accident - something similar has happened to Joe that has dampened his energy/drive.
Worrying less about the past more about the now
Joe has learned to focus on the present instead of dwelling on the past.
Less about what I'm going through more about the how
Joe is less concerned about what he's experiencing and instead focuses on how he can handle it.
It's for certain it's been thirty years being fit for hurting
Joe has had enough experience dealing with pain and hardships for 30 years.
Now I'm a different person with nothing to overcome in the mist of burdens
Despite Joe's past struggles, he has grown and doesn't feel like he faces any burdens now.
For certain, got 6 figures in my sock drawer
Joe has a lot of money saved up.
And honestly this year I expect to make a lot more
Joe anticipates making even more money in the near future.
It's hard to live without a budget when life is corrupted
Joe acknowledges that living within a budget is tough when things in life aren't ideal.
In a house that's so peaceful that I'm trying to disrupt it
Joe's life is currently positive, but he feels the need to shake things up.
Scream fuck it not because I have to but because I love it
Joe is acting out of passion rather than necessity.
Which makes me as fake as the puppets that I speak of disgusted
Joe is disgusted with himself because he's acting contradictory to his beliefs.
Without a paddle up shit's creek
Joe is in a tough situation without a clear solution.
Dig deep and see it ain't life it's just me
Joe realizes that his problems are a result of his own actions, not life's circumstances.
So be warned as I'm putting on like I'm deformed
Joe warns others that he is acting different than before.
Only so y'all can accept it as being my norm
Joe justifies his behavior by suggesting it's his new normal.
Maybe I quit working on me, maybe I given up
Joe wonders if he's stopped trying to improve himself.
Maybe I been lying to myself maybe I give a fuck.
Joe questions whether he has been lying to himself and if he truly cares about his situation.
[Chorus]
The chorus provides a metaphor that alludes to the feeling of running away from a dark cloud that follows Joe everywhere.
I say it loud hoping someone can hear me clearly
Joe hopes that he can be heard and that someone can understand what he's going through.
Trying to make my girl get it she don't know that it's very scary
Joe is trying to make his girlfriend understand how he's feeling, but she doesn't comprehend the seriousness of the situation.
But she's a nympho she can come barely near me
Joe's girlfriend has a high sex drive but can't emotionally connect with him at the moment.
She still want the God in her, think she's mary mary
Joe's girlfriend still wants to be intimate with him and be close like Mary was to God.
The prettiest bitches just want to service me
Attractive women seek out Joe, but only for his fame and money.
While niggas prettiest bitches wouldn't get a word from me
Joe doesn't want to associate with women who only care about his wealth.
Some of you haven't heard from me, some of you wouldn't mind murking me
Joe's fans have mixed reactions to his change of demeanor - some haven't heard from him, while some want to threaten him.
Found that news funny likes its straight from Ron Burgundy
Joe finds it amusing that people want to hurt him.
These niggas ain't never seen dough
Joe recognizes that other people don't have the same financial resources as he does.
They can't dream though I bump into 'em in between shows
Joe still interacts with people less fortunate than him, but they can't comprehend his level of success.
People say I'm emo, what that really mean though?
Joe doesn't understand why people label him as 'emo.'
Is though the song can't breathe I actually make it seem so
Joe uses his emotions as inspiration for his music, making it seem like the lyrics are struggling to be expressed.
I lost loved ones because they couldn't deal with me
Joe has lost people who were close to him because they couldn't accept his changing personality
Cherish whoever still with me though the marriage be killed in me
Joe values the relationships that still exist in his life despite others falling out.
Normally it's just me and my lonely mind
Joe is often left to his own thoughts.
Everyone storm is different so this forecast is only mine
Joe acknowledges that everyone's experiences and struggles are unique to their own lives.
Fans recognize my misery uplifted me
Joe's fans connect with his struggles, but his music has also helped him overcome them.
Shifted me to my epitome, guess the curse is a gift to me
Joe has become his best self, and he believes that his past struggles have helped him get there.
Maybe it's serendipity, maybe it's weighing on me physically
Joe wonders if his circumstances are just coincidence or if they're taking a toll on his mental and physical health.
Maybe I should man up and tell God not to solicit me
Joe is considering if he should ask God to stop testing him.
Been medicated, meditated
Joe has tried various methods to deal with his issues, such as medicating or practicing meditation.
Sedated, hated
Joe has also felt numb and unappreciated.
Character assassinated, all theses years I masqueraded
Joe feels like his personality has been attacked and that he's been hiding behind a facade for years.
Hard headed, if it was on my mind I had to say it
Joe has always been straightforward and vocal about his thoughts.
Tongue on the devil's pitchfork to see how disaster tasted
Joe has put himself in dangerous situations to see how he would react.
Rap is fabricated, rappers are so exaggerated
Joe believes that rap music is often made up or exaggerated.
Wouldn't be scared of the truth if they weren't castrated
Joe thinks people wouldn't shy away from the truth if they were honest and unfiltered.
Grab a mag, spray it, surrounded by people to shoot it before me
Joe feels like he has enemies who would attack him before he could defend himself.
Better unconditionally love my beautiful ugly
Joe embraces his flaws and encourages others to do the same.
Now lemme speak to who I cater to
Joe is addressing his fans.
Would you love me to sang before my weeks were not favorable
Joe wants to know if his fans will support him even when he's struggling.
Promised to maintain being unique but relatable
Joe has promised to be himself while still being able to connect with his audience.
All while suffering from a disease that could do away with you
Joe is referencing his past addiction to substances that threatened his life.
Poetry on the beat, spoken-word for the masses
Joe's music is analogous to poetry and meant to be heard by everyone.
Therapy over pro-tools, every word is on acid
Joe's music is therapeutic for him, and the raw emotion is evident in every lyric.
Consonants on Kush, every vowel is blunted
Joe rhymes with precision while high on marijuana.
Highly wanted this whole organization privately funded
Joe is in high demand, but he doesn't rely on corporate sponsors.
This is bigger than the Eiffle, this is alert to public
Joe's message is larger than the Eiffel tower, and it's an alert to the public.
Had a cop us by our tunnels and our bridges with the rifle
The government and law enforcement are watching over Joe and his community.
Sentences meant to stifle, this is a man aching
People are trying to silence Joe, but he's in emotional turmoil.
This is the dam breaking, contraband in the making
Joe's emotions are overflowing, and he's experiencing turmoil.
This is panic unveiling, got potential but I never met it
Joe is worried and anxious despite his potential.
He be trying to come over, it seem like God won't let it
Joe is trying to find inner peace, but it seems like God is preventing him.
Either he never got my invite or he just dismissed it
Joe thinks that God either didn't hear his prayers or chose to ignore them.
But if all I'm hearing are the sounds of blackness, why am I pessimistic?
Joe hears messages of hope and resilience in the black community, but he still has negative thoughts.
Lyrics © Society of Composers, Authors and Music Publishers of Canada (SOCAN), BMG Rights Management, Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: ORVILLE JERMAINE MCWHINNEY, JOE BUDDEN
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
TwoThreeForever
'3:06 'Fans recognize my misery uplifted me
Shifted me to my epitome, guess the curse is a gift to me
Maybe it’s serendipity, maybe it’s weighing on me physically
Maybe I should man up and tell God not to solicit me
Been medicated, meditated
Sedated, hated
Character assassinated''......
^ Wow, you could hear the legit pain in Joey's voice!
Billy
My black cloud right now is loneliness. I have a great family and wife, my own house…definitely blessed. Only problem is my lack of friends local to me, nobody to do anything with or just talk to. I have a deep loneliness paired with depression due to lack of money and feeling like I’m going backwards sometimes. The people who love me don’t understand the deep loneliness and sadness inside me, if I told them my thoughts it would only make them worry and I don’t want to put that on them. They have their own lives to live. Pray for me please❤️
James Hatchett
Prayers up
de_originalrudeboi
I can relate bro I can relate
300 Ss
We ALL gonna be good fam. Just keep fighting the good fight ✊🏽❤️
Akram Shaikh
Hey man, you okay? If you need someone to talk to feel free to open up. We all have our battles, Here for you brother
joao Mortay
We in this life together fam , jus a tex away , I definitely understand, 8 billion people n one can still feel lonely, I dig it...
DomisLive NEWS
Smh Joe needs to release his hits, it has to be annoying to constantly get discredited because people are ignorant to the actual good music that you made.
sean blaser
He has a lot of gems that don't get as attention as they should
Manik Asylum
Living legend
T.I.M Anime
FACTS