9. And Then There Were None
John Gallagher Jr. & Boys Lyrics

Dear Herr Stiefel
Moritz, I've spent the entire day thinking about your note
Truly, it touched me, it did, that you'd think of me as a friend
Of course, I was saddened to hear that your exams came off rather less well than you'd hoped
And that you will not be promoted, come fall
And yet, I must say straightaway, that fleeing to America is hardly the solution
And even if it were, I cannot provide the money you request

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, well, fine
Not like it's even worth the time But still, you know, you wanted more
Sorry, it won't change, been there before

You would do me wrong, Herr Stiefel, to read into my refusal any lack of affection
On the contrary, as Melchior's mother, I truly believe it to be my duty
To curb this momentary loss of

The thing that sucks, okay, for me
A thousand bucks, I'm like, scot-free
And I mean, please, that's all I need
Get real, Jose, by now you know the score

Should you like, I am ready to write to your parents
I will try to convince them that no one could have worked harder last semester
And also that too rigorous a condemnation of your current misfortune
Could have the gravest possible effect on

You wanna laugh, it's too absurd
You start to ask, can't hear a word
You're gonna crash and burn
Right, tell me more

Still, Herr Stiefel, one thing in your letter disturbed me
Your, what shall we call it?
Veiled threat that, should escape not be possible, you would take your own life

Okay, so now we do the play
Act like we so care
No way
You'll write my folks? Well, okay
Babe, that's how it goes

My dear boy, the world is filled with men
Businessmen, scientists, scholars even
Who have done rather poorly in school, and yet gone on to brilliant careers
Consider, for example, our friend, Leopold

They freak, or won't
You toe the line
You tell your soul, just kill some time
Will it quit? It will until they don't
They're not my home, not anymore
Not like they so were before
Still, I'll split, and they'll, like
Well, who knows? Who knows? Who knows?

In any case, I assure you that your present misfortune
Will have no effect on my feelings for you, or on your relationship with Melchior

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, well, fine
Not like it's even worth the time
But still, you know, you wanted more
Okay, so nothing's changed
Heard that before

You wanna laugh, it's too absurd
You start to ask, can't hear a word
You wanna crash and burn
Right, tell me more
You start to cave, you start to cry
You try to run, nowhere to hide
You wanna crumble up and close that door

So, head high, Herr Stiefel
And do let me hear from you soon
In the meantime, I am unchangingly and most fondly yours, Fanny Gabor

Just fuck it, right? Enough, that's it
You'll still go on
Well, for a bit
Another day of utter shit
And then there were none
And then there were none
And then there were none
And then there were none