Funk Dagger
Johnny Stranger Lyrics

Here's a little story about a fella from Tasmania Called Funk Dagger.
Introducing the singer of the story, Funk Dagger.

I'm sure you know the type.
He's a familiar character type we all can relate to.

He's the kind of cat you'd find in a bar on a Wednesday night.
Funk Dagger is a regular patron of a bar, particularly on Wednesday night.

Drunk by seven o'clock.
Funk Dagger's habit of getting drunk early in the evening.

Bartender has already pulled his tab.
Funk Dagger's reputation for being a heavy drinker who owes money to the bartender.

We all have a little Funk Dagger in our lives.
The commonality of having met someone like Funk Dagger in our own lives.

So lets celebrate together.
Encouraging listeners to join in the celebration of Funk Dagger's unique personality.

Funk Dagger Loves things that go bump In the night.
Funk Dagger's taste for scary, thrilling things.

Yeah, he's more than just a ladies man He's more than just your average hairy-chested tycoon.
Funk Dagger is more than just a womanizer or a stereotypical masculine figure.

He's every man's man And when he walks into the room, all the heads turn on cue And quite a few stomachs.
Funk Dagger is a charismatic and confident man who grabs everyone's attention, whether they like it or not.

Funk Dagger Loves things with a rump To pinch.
Funk Dagger's attraction to curvy and voluptuous bodies.

Yeah, he's more than just a little drunk. He's known for his powdery infamy.
Funk Dagger is more than just an alcoholic, he's also infamous for his drug use.

He throws on that Van Halen on that retro jukebox And then dances till he obtains ecstasy.
Funk Dagger's habit of playing Van Halen's music and dancing until he reaches a state of ecstasy.

People are always wondering, Where did he get that name, 'Funk Dagger'? Perhaps out of an unhealthy obsession with cutlery. Or maybe he just liked to funk And go for a ride on that rainbow-colored centipede.
The origin story of Funk Dagger's unique name, either from his love of cutlery or his love of funky music and hallucinogenic drugs.

Funk Dagger, oh funk in the night!
Repeating the chorus and emphasizing Funk Dagger's love for thrilling experiences in the night.

Yeah, he's more than just a Superhero. He has no fear of Kryptonite. He'll expel all the villains with a thrust of his hips And his bulbous belly will jiggle while he twists.
Contrasting Funk Dagger with traditional superheroes, highlighting his powers of seduction and entertainment rather than strength and invincibility.

So the moral of the story kids is: Don't do drugs. Or at least any of those tasty illegal ones. The kind that'll make you stutter and stagger. The kind that'll turn you into Funk Dagger.
Concluding the song with a moral lesson against illegal drugs that can turn one into a character like Funk Dagger.