Born in Kent, Judge Dread was the first White British recording artist to get a reggae hit in Jamaica. He got his stage name from a Prince Buster song, and his first hits were inspired by Prince Buster's single, "Big Five".
The Guinness Book of World Records credits Judge Dread for having the most banned songs of all time. Many of his lyrics have sexual connotations, with one song "Big Five" using rhyme to suggest lewd words while not actually saying them. A series of songs with "Big" followed by a number were some of his most notable hits — all of them featuring sexual and humorous lyrics. It is unlikely that you will ever hear his music on mainstream radio because of the nature of his lyrics.
Judge Dread died on stage in The Penny Theatre, Canterbury. At first, his collapse was thought to be part of his humorous and lively stage act, but it was quickly discovered that he was really dead.
In the 1970s, tabloid newspapers expressed concerns that young fans of the comic character Judge Dredd might buy Judge Dread's records by mistake, and hear things that may corrupt their minds.
The Big Five
Judge Dread Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Waving and shaking his big hairy...
Fist at the ladies next door in The Ritz,
Who taught all the children to play with their...
Ice-creams and marbles and all things galore,
Along comes a lady who looks like a...
Decent young woman, who walks like a duck,
She said she's invented a new way to...
Bring up the children, to sew and to knit,
The boys in the stable are shovelling...
Litter and paper, from yesterday's hunt,
And old dirty Dread is having some...
Cake in the parlour, and singing this song,
If you think it's dirty, you're bloody well wrong!
(Instrumental)
Susan was a nice girl, with plenty of class,
Who turned the boys' heads when she wiggled her...
Eyes at the young boys, as girls sometimes do,
To make it quite plain she was ready to...
Go for a walk, or a stroll in the grass,
Then hurry back home for a nice piece of...
Chicken and ice-cream, and lots of roast duck,
And after this meal, she was ready to...
Go for a walk, or a stroll on the dock,
With any young boy with a sizeable...
Roll of big bills, and a pretty good front,
And if he talked softly, she'd show him her...
Little pet dog, who is subject to fits,
And maybe let him grab a hold of her...
Little white hand, with a moment so quick,
That she would lean over and tickle his...
Chin, while she showed what she once learned in France,
And ask the poor chap to take up his under...
Pants, while she sang of the wild Kneesdon shore,
Oh, whatever she was,
(Spoken)
She wasn't a bad girl really, this Susan. I've had better, but mind you, she wasn't THAT bad.
"The Big Five" by Judge Dread is a tongue-in-cheek and somewhat humorous song that uses double entendre and innuendo to describe various activities and scenarios involving different characters. The lyrics play with suggestive language and leave much to the imagination of the listener.
The song opens with an old sailor sitting on a rock, expressing his frustration towards the ladies next door at The Ritz. They have apparently taught the children to engage in playful activities such as playing with ice creams and marbles. A seemingly respectable lady then enters the scene, claiming to have invented a new way to bring up children. Meanwhile, the boys in the stable are cleaning up litter and paper from a previous hunt. This contrasts with the character of Judge Dread, who is depicted as indulging in cake and singing the song.
The second part of the song introduces a girl named Susan, who is depicted as a classy and alluring figure. She catches the attention of boys with her flirtatious behavior and signals her readiness for walks and other activities. The lyrics suggest that she enjoys indulging in delicious meals, such as chicken, ice cream, and roast duck. She is also associated with money and seems willing to engage in intimate encounters. The mention of her little pet dog and her ability to show off her skills learned in France add to the risqué tone of the song.
Overall, "The Big Five" is a playful and suggestive song that leaves interpretation up to the listener's imagination. It employs double entendre, innuendo, and humorous storytelling to create an entertaining and somewhat cheeky narrative.
Line by Line Meaning
There was an old sailor, who sat on a rock,
An elderly seaman sitting alone on a boulder,
Waving and shaking his big hairy...
Raising and flailing his large, hairy...
Fist at the ladies next door in The Ritz,
Hand clenched in anger towards the women residing nearby at The Ritz,
Who taught all the children to play with their...
Who instructed the kids to amuse themselves with their...
Ice-creams and marbles and all things galore,
Frozen treats, small spherical objects, and various items in abundance,
Along comes a lady who looks like a...
Then arrives a woman with the appearance of a...
Decent young woman, who walks like a duck,
Respectable young lady, with a gait akin to that of a duck,
She said she's invented a new way to...
She claimed to have devised a fresh method to...
Bring up the children, to sew and to knit,
Raise the children, teaching them needlework and knitting,
The boys in the stable are shovelling...
The lads in the stable are moving heaps of...
Litter and paper, from yesterday's hunt,
Trash and paper scraps left behind after the previous day's pursuit,
And old dirty Dread is having some...
And the venerable, unclean Dread is enjoying a bit of...
Cake in the parlour, and singing this song,
Cake in the living room, while singing this tune,
If you think it's dirty, you're bloody well wrong!
If you believe it to be vulgar, you're absolutely mistaken!
(Instrumental)
(Music interlude)
Susan was a nice girl, with plenty of class,
Susan was a pleasant young woman, with considerable elegance,
Who turned the boys' heads when she wiggled her...
Who captivated the attention of the boys when she moved her...
Eyes at the young boys, as girls sometimes do,
Gaze towards the young lads, as girls occasionally do,
To make it quite plain she was ready to...
To make it abundantly clear that she was prepared to...
Go for a walk, or a stroll in the grass,
Take a walk or leisurely wander on the grass,
Then hurry back home for a nice piece of...
Then rush back to her residence for a delightful portion of...
Chicken and ice-cream, and lots of roast duck,
Chicken and ice cream, along with copious amounts of roast duck,
And after this meal, she was ready to...
And after this repast, she was prepared to...
Go for a walk, or a stroll on the dock,
Embark on a walk or a leisurely promenade on the pier,
With any young boy with a sizeable...
Accompanied by any young lad possessing a substantial...
Roll of big bills, and a pretty good front,
Stack of large denomination banknotes, and an appealing appearance,
And if he talked softly, she'd show him her...
And if he spoke in a gentle manner, she would display her...
Little pet dog, who is subject to fits,
Small pet canine, prone to experiencing seizures,
And maybe let him grab a hold of her...
And perhaps even permit him to grasp her...
Little white hand, with a moment so quick,
Diminutive, pale hand, with a swift movement,
That she would lean over and tickle his...
Where she would lean forward and lightly touch his...
Chin, while she showed what she once learned in France,
Chin, as she demonstrated her knowledge acquired in France,
And ask the poor chap to take up his under...
And request of the unfortunate lad to remove his under...
Pants, while she sang of the wild Kneesdon shore,
Trousers, as she sang about the untamed Kneesdon shoreline,
Oh, whatever she was,
Oh, whatever she was,
(Spoken)
(Spoken)
She wasn't a bad girl really, this Susan. I've had better, but mind you, she wasn't THAT bad.
She truly wasn't a terrible girl, this Susan. I've had superior experiences, but let it be known, she wasn't THAT awful.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@marigold7198
He used to come round my grandparents when I was young. He was so funny and he used to sing to me. I must have been 5. Happy memories. Never a dull moment when he walked through the door
@1fluffypuss
I hope the songs were "Age appropriate".....LOL ;-O
@dave710
Brilliant!
From a time when the world was sane ...... ironically!
@francoisdupuis4510
dread's masterpiece!!!
@erikluna4130
Genius. No one like the Judge!
@fortruthnoterror7796
Bruh. The songs my grandad use to make me listen too, and only now i realise the motivation behind Judge dreads songs 😂
@SUEBRDSHW
so funny to hear Mrs Brown singing this
@victor6011
i knew the dread many years ago ,he was a great guy and lived quite near to me, R.I.P. m8
@wild_childofthe80s
The lad's a damn genius 👍🏻
@dominewimbury9644
Looool can't stop laughing! Bet this had Mary Whitehorse fuming then haha