Eighteen
Kalie Shorr Lyrics


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Which one did you fuck harder my best friend or my self esteem

Remember when you got drunk and said you were the only one dumb enough to love me

I don't want to live just following your script

The actress is too young and the director is a narcissist
This isn't normal, this isn't okay

But I didn't know any better, so I thought it'd be better to stay

Almost beautiful, the things that you taught me

I think I really loved you, I think you really loved that I was
Eighteen

You bought me beer because you were too old to go to prom with me
I threw up in the bathroom, my friends made memories

And yeah, you looked real cool to a girl still in high school
You don't have to chase anything that you can fool
This isn't normal, this isn't okay

But I didn't know any better, so I thought it'd be better to stay

Almost beautiful, the things that you taught me

I think I really loved you, I think you really loved that I was
Eighteen

I see you out with younger versions of me

While I'm trying to find who I used to be

I'm terrified that you and I will always be chasing eighteen
This isn't normal, this isn't okay

But I didn't know any better, so I thought it'd be better to stay

Almost beautiful, the things that you taught me





I think I really loved you, I think you really loved that I was
Eighteen

Overall Meaning

In the song "Eighteen" by Kalie Shorr, the lyrics delve into the tumultuous relationship between an older individual and the singer when she was just eighteen years old. The opening lines reflect on the emotional and psychological manipulation that occurred within this relationship. The question of "Which one did you fuck harder my best friend or my self-esteem" suggests that the impact of the relationship was deeply damaging on both the singer's friendships and her self-worth. The reference to the partner stating they were the only one dumb enough to love her highlights a toxic dynamic where the partner's affections were used as a means to control and belittle her.


The singer expresses a desire to break free from the role that her partner has assigned to her, rejecting the idea of living according to their script. The comparison of the situation to a performance, with the singer as the actress and the partner as the director, highlights the power dynamics at play. The lyrics convey a sense of realization and acknowledgment that the relationship is not healthy, with references to the partner being a narcissist. Despite this understanding, the singer admits that at the time, she didn't know any better and believed it was best to stay.


The mention of being bought beer because the partner was too old to attend prom with the singer illustrates the inappropriate nature of the relationship due to the significant age gap. The singer reflects on how she was still in high school while the partner portrayed a facade of coolness. The theme of manipulation and deceit continues as the singer acknowledges that she was fooled into believing certain things by the partner. The repetition of the refrain "This isn't normal, this isn't okay" serves as a stark reminder of the unhealthy nature of the relationship.


The final verses of the song touch on the aftermath of the relationship, with the singer seeing the partner with younger versions of herself and grappling with the fear that they will forever be chasing the fleeting allure of being eighteen. There is a poignant sense of loss and longing for a sense of self that was overshadowed by the manipulative dynamics of the relationship. The singer recognizes the twisted beauty in the lessons learned from the experience, acknowledging that love was present but tainted by the circumstances. Overall, the lyrics of "Eighteen" poignantly depict the complexities of a toxic relationship and the journey towards self-discovery and healing.


Line by Line Meaning

Which one did you fuck harder my best friend or my self esteem
Reflecting on the emotional pain caused by the betrayal of a romantic partner and questioning whether it hurt more personally or socially


Remember when you got drunk and said you were the only one dumb enough to love me
Recalling a moment of vulnerability and manipulation in a toxic relationship where the partner belittled the singer's self-worth


I don't want to live just following your script
Expressing a desire to break free from the control and manipulation of a harmful partner


The actress is too young and the director is a narcissist
Comparing the unhealthy dynamics of the relationship to a dysfunctional movie set with a manipulative director and naive lead actress


But I didn't know any better, so I thought it'd be better to stay
Acknowledging past naivety and vulnerability that led the singer to stay in a toxic relationship


I think I really loved you, I think you really loved that I was Eighteen
Recognizing that the attraction and manipulation from the toxic partner was tied to the singer's youthful innocence and vulnerability




Lyrics © MUSIC SERVICES, INC.
Written by: Kalie Shorr, Samuel Wood Varga

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Comments from YouTube:

Chris Rose

Absolutely Fabulous!!!

Josh

More cowbell

Meg Gregory

Turn your voice (audio) up more . The music is too loud and I had a hard time hearing you at some points of the song. The lyrics are genius. You are so talented .

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