Hands
Karen Taylor-Good Lyrics

Lights burn until the break of dawn
Going through endless nights, never sleeping while the lights stay on

Six bottles and a couple of pills uh huh
Taking extreme amounts of alcohol and drugs to escape reality

Gunshots rattle in my brain
The intense feeling of despair and hopelessness that can't escape the mind, haunting every thought like a gunshot

Nonstop
Endless, never stopping, never letting up

It's suicidal
The feeling of wanting or needing to end one's life completely takes over everything else

I'm broken deep inside
Feeling shattered beyond repair within yourself emotionally, mentally and spiritually

But you keep me in my place though
Despite my turmoil, you keep me grounded and from falling apart completely

I've got dark shit on my mind
My thoughts are consumed by negative and harmful content that weighs heavy on my conscience

I can't look you in the face
I can't bear to look into your eyes, because you could see the pain and struggle that lies within me

Cash in hand
Money on hand to purchase alcohol and drugs

Hand to mouth
Living in the moment, providing for basic survival such as food and shelter

I can't stand it
The pain and suffering that comes with everyday life is unbearable

I feel like I should kill myself
The overwhelming urge to end my own life is ever-present

No one knows how you feel
Only you can truly understand the depth of the pain and despair you feel

When you're low
In moments of extreme sadness and despair, when everything seems too much to handle

You'll always be yourself
No matter how much you try to escape reality, you're always going to be you

You'll never get away
You can't escape who you are or the pain that comes with it

Put needles in your arms
Engaging in self-destructive behavior, such as using drugs that can cause physical harm to oneself

Keep thoughts out of your brain
Attempting to numb oneself from negative thoughts and emotions

I keep talking all the time
Trying to continue on through while the destructive thoughts continue to swirl around

I'm a million miles away though
Despite being surrounded by people, it can feel isolating and lonely when you're caught up in your own pain

There's just somethings I keep lying
Doubting yourself that confiding the truth will only make things worse

About very single day
Every single day is a battle, and it's hard to be honest about how it feels

Love and hate
The conflicting emotions of feeling love and anger at the same time

Sex and death
The relationship between sex and death, the primal and powerful feelings that come with it

The unconscious burns a constant flame
The subconscious mind is always there, burning away with repressed emotions and thoughts

But nobody's talking to me uh huh
Despite wanting to reach out and talk to someone, there's no one around who understands

Pills and gin
Drugs and alcohol are a temporary escape from the pain and suffering that's difficult to shake off

Live or die
Feeling like there are only two choices left, with no other alternatives

Lose or win
Feeling like there are only two outcomes, both with high costs and no clear winner

I don't know how we are going to move through any of this honestly
The uncertainty and hopelessness when thinking about the future and how to progress forward

It's going to take more than I have left at this point
The realization that you've exhausted everything within you to keep fighting, and it's not enough

Slipping in and out of consciousness
Feeling detached from reality and drifting between consciousness and unconsciousness

I can't honestly tell what's real sometimes
The overwhelming feeling of confusion and uncertainty, not knowing what's real or not

One of these days
At some point down the line, after countless struggles and battles, there will be a moment of clarity

I'm going to take a solid look at myself
Having the courage to finally look within yourself, and confront the pain and difficulties head-on

And then I'll really know
By doing so will allow you to finally understand yourself in a deeper, more profound way

You know what I mean
The feeling of needing to convey the internal, complex emotions that are difficult to articulate with words

Nightmare
Life can feel like an endless, horrific nightmare that you can't escape from

It's useless to talk about really
Not knowing how to verbalize how you're feeling, or knowing that others won't understand the depth of the pain

Because nothing's ever ever going to change anyways so
Feeling like nothing will ever be different or get better. A sense of hopelessness.

I don't have a purpose
Feeling like there's no direction or end-goal in sight

All I do is destroy
Feeling like one does nothing but wreak havoc and chaos onto everything and everyone

Everything I touch
The feeling that anything and everything touched will end in destruction and turmoil

No one is safe
The overwhelming feeling that the people you love and care about will also be affected by your pain and struggles

Not even myself
Feeling like you're your own worst enemy, and in danger of destroying yourself completely

You'll never be the same
The traumatic experiences and pain leave a lasting impact, one that forever changes you

You'll always feel alone
The sense of isolation and loneliness can become overwhelming, no matter how many people surround you

Put everything behind you
Finding the strength and courage to release the pain and hurt, in order to move forward

Forget about the pain
Letting go of the past hurts, to clear space for new beginnings