We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to You
Kinky Friedman gelesen von Wiglaf Droste Lyrics

While traveling through the Lone Star State I lost my lunch before I ate, It happened in a pull-ahead café. Yahoo!
I was in Texas traveling and stopped at a café. However, I lost my appetite when I saw how dirty the place was.

I felt my bones begin to crunch I saw my name on the businessman's lunch And the neck who owned the place stepped up to say: Hey buddy, are you blind, Say, partner, can't you read the sign?
I felt sick seeing how dirty the café was, and I noticed that the businessman there had ordered something with my name on it. The owner of the café then proceeded to tell me that because of my appearance, he had the right to refuse service to me.

We reserve the right to refuse service to you, Take your business back to Walgreen's, Have you tried your local zoo? You smell just like a communist, You come on through just like a Jew, We reserve the right to refuse service to you.
The owner tells me that he has the right to refuse services to me, suggesting that I should go to another place like Walgreen's or even a zoo. He also insults me by saying that I smell like a communist and that I look like a Jew.

Well, I walked on in to my House of God Congregation on the nod, Just chosen folks are doing their weekly thing. Hear, O Israel, yes indeed, My book was backwards, couldn't read, But I got a good rise when I heard that Rabbi sing, Boruch atoh Adonoi, What the hell are you doing back there, boy?
I went to my weekly congregation, where the Rabbi was singing. However, I was holding my prayer book backwards, and I was uncertain of what I was doing. The Rabbi caught me, and I felt embarrassed.

We reserve the right to refuse services to you, Your friends are all on welfare You call yourself a Jew? You need your ticket and your tie To zip your prayers on through, We reserve the right to refuse services unto you.
The congregation then tells me that they have the right to refuse services to me because I am associated with people on welfare, and I am not dressed in appropriate clothing required to enter the congregation.

Life from Laos and Cambodia No more tears tonight they showed ya The latest old war movies on TV. You know it's bound to escalate So go and turn on channel eight, Watch channel seven border channel three. Well, I won't mind your tanks and jets and jeeps And speaking on behalf of all my fellow creeps:
I am flipping through TV channels, and I come across war movies from Laos and Cambodia. However, I feel okay about watching them because I know that they are just TV. I then speak on behalf of people like me who do not care about the real-life war happening out there.

We reserve the right to refuse service to you, Right, face, forward, move And get the children, too. Let Saigons be bygones, Don't you blow this world in two. We reserve the right to refuse service to you.
The owner of the TV service tells me that they can refuse services to me and my children because of who I am, suggesting that they want to avoid the potential danger of people like me causing problems and starting another war, so they would instead refuse service if deemed necessary.

Well, it's just my luck that God's a Texan One big sonbitchin' Anglo-Saxon, Some crazy tall Norwegian bore Just to help my body shipped air-freight From Texas to the Pearly Gate Just ring the bell and leave me at the door. I'll be somewhere over Jordan swinging low, I'll hear them tape-recorded angels in lifelike stereo Singing, We reserve the right to refuse service to you, Take your business back to Walgreen's, Have you tried your local zoo? Our quota's filled for this year On singing Texas Jews, We reserve the right to refuse service to you.
In the end, I joke about how unlucky I am that even God is Texan. I then ask to be left alone after my death, and I anticipate hearing the tape-recorded angels singing that they reserve the right to refuse services to people like me, Texans and Jews included.