"It’s a wrap! And the whole process has been a li… Read Full Bio ↴Kirsten biography
"It’s a wrap! And the whole process has been a liberating experience. From day one, the day that I started writing material for the new album I felt totally free to do whatever I wanted to." Dutch singer-songwriter KIRSTEN will release her new album on Idol Media. It’s due in October and will be called VANILLA. Less than two years after her very successful debut: THE CHICK SINGER. A debut that generated lots of publicity for the now 27-year-old, a prestigious Dutch ESSENT AWARD and support shows for Ani DiFranco, Sheryl Crow, Beth Hart, Jewel and Venice. It took her and her touring band to some of the biggest Dutch festivals. (Lowlands, Parkpop and Bevrijdingspop Haarlem.) After a nationwide club tour things quieted down. Or well… so it seemed. The truth is that KIRSTEN has been working very hard indeed. The release of VANILLA will be the proof of that. And also that the hard work paid off.
As it’s been said before KIRSTEN, in spite of her enchanting appearance, is not an act put together on the drawing board of some marketing strategist. No team of slick songwriters, overpaid production managers and plastic surgeons for her. She’s her own woman in full control of her art.
It goes for every self-respecting artist, and it goes for KIRSTEN too: the second album will be looked upon as the litmus test of her artistic credibility. Her audience will expect an album that excels the much beloved first one.
And yet this outside pressure won’t be the main reason why KIRSTEN will consider the release of VANILLA as liberating. "Every song on The Chick Singer album was triggered by some situation or experience that I had a strong feeling about. A bad feeling most of the time. Every time I felt bad and angry about something, a song would come along. The prevailing emotion on The Chick Singer was to be anger. When I started working on VANILLA I was much more deliberate about the whole process of writing itself. I wouldn’t wait till a song happened to come by, I was writing for the sake of writing. I simply thought to myself: ‘I did this once. Let’s see if I can do it again’. In a way this had to do with the pressure I was feeling. I surely wanted to make another record but then found I was really enjoying the sheer craftsmanship of it all. I noticed that by concentrating on song structures and form my subliminal self began to seep through in my writing. It became a stream of consciousness work out. And that in itself generated a much broader set of emotions. In a sense Vanilla is less autobiographical than the first one. It felt almost like a miracle. I sat down, started to write out of the blue and it worked. It was fun! Just doing what I love best: writing. Sometimes light-hearted, sometimes heavy, but taking it with a grain of salt most of the time. I feel the songs don’t try to thrust themselves upon the listener, they’re merely trying to communicate."
Eventually all this asked for another approach in the recording studio as well. "Some of the songs we recorded for The Chick Singer I had carried with me for some five years or more. I had played them a lot of course and I felt sure that we had to stay close to the versions as they had developed over the years." (Due to the empathy of producer Rob van Donselaar and the musicians, Hein Offermans on bass and the great Martijn Bosman on drums it all worked out fine.) "But when we started on VANILLA all the songs were relatively fresh. That meant there was lots of room for experiment. So after the writing period, recording became another great experience again!"
It helped that the crew that had worked on the debut was present again of course, (only Michel van Schie plugged in for Hein Offermans.) but then other instruments were brought in. Most notably the pedal steel played by Urban Dance Squad string master René van Barneveld, and the flute of Jan Kooper. But it was especially the contributions of arranger and sound wizard Sander Baas that made a great impression on everyone involved. "Never ceased to amaze us! Even during the mix we found little patterns and sounds on the tape that before nobody seemed to have noticed in particular." And yet again: VANILLA is a genuine KIRSTEN album. Her voice, that every microphone seems to fall in love with, and especially her unique guitar playing that has developed in a most spectacular fashion over the last two years, call for attention throughout the album from the first to the last note.
With her new album KIRSTEN no longer stands angry and tough in our midst. Her audience will definitely grow in numbers, the admiration will enhance and there will be plenty opportunity to dance. KIRSTEN will be seated. With her guitar, new songs and an ice cream. The VANILLA kind.
WWW.KIRSTEN.NL
For A While
Kirsten Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
and I'm not gonna hesitate to walk out the door
and you made me choose between two lives and
I've chosen mine
and don't forget it was you that night and I'll be fine
Well you were standing in my room
I told you to leave
you just put it up your sleeve
and I didn't mean to hurt that way
I just told you upfront
and if you had not ignored it
we wouldn't have been caught
And now I'm not gonna take the shouting anymore
and I'm not gonna hesitate to walk out the door
and you made me choose between two lives
and I've chosen mine
and don't forget it was you that night
and I'll be fine
Well I keep wondering where it went wrong
I know but can't explain
and if I tell you it won't do a thing but
leave you insane
it would be just like when you say to me
that I destroy your life
It's not what people say in times of need it
cuts through me like a knife
And now I'm not gonna take the shouting anymore
and I'm not gonna hesitate to walk out the door
and you made me choose between two lives
and I've chosen mine
and don't forget it was you that night
and I'll be fine
for a while...
I'm not sorry that I hit you
I think it was my right
I had warned you not to do it
but you let that one slide
so don't you come to me for blaming
'cause you know it doesn't count
you know it doesn't stand for anything
except: you're too damned proud
The song "For A While" by Kirsten portrays a message of empowerment and self-assertion. The lyrics start by indicating a refusal to tolerate being shouted at anymore and a willingness to walk away from a toxic situation. The singer implies that she had been forced to choose between two lives and was resolved in choosing her own. The lyrics seem to imply that the person she is singing to had hurt her in some way, but she was standing up for herself by telling them that they were the cause of her pain and that she will be fine without them. The reference to not being sorry for hitting the person implies that they got physical in the argument, and the singer feels justified in her actions.
In the second verse, the singer expresses her confusion about where things went wrong in the relationship. She suggests that there is no point in elaborating on what happened as it might leave the other person feeling insane. She compares this feeling to how hurt she is when the other person blames her for destroying their life. She goes back to the chorus and reiterates that she is not going to tolerate being shouted at anymore and that she has taken control of her life.
Overall, the song conveys a strong message of valuing oneself and being willing to let go of toxic relationships. It also indicates that some actions might be necessary to stand up for oneself, even if those actions are unpopular or violent.
Line by Line Meaning
And no I'm not gonna take the shouting anymore
I'm not willing to endure your yelling and demeaning behavior any longer.
and I'm not gonna hesitate to walk out the door
I won't think twice about leaving this toxic relationship.
and you made me choose between two lives and
You put me in a position where I had to decide between my own happiness and what you wanted.
I've chosen mine
I chose to prioritize my own well-being and happiness over yours.
and don't forget it was you that night and I'll be fine
You made your choices and now I'm moving on without you.
Well you were standing in my room
You invaded my personal space without my permission.
I told you to leave
I clearly stated my boundaries and yet you persisted.
but you didn't care to listen
You disregarded my feelings and wishes.
you just put it up your sleeve
You kept your intentions hidden and tried to manipulate me.
and I didn't mean to hurt that way
I didn't intend to cause you pain, but I had to be honest with you.
I just told you upfront
I was honest and direct with you about my own needs and wants.
and if you had not ignored it
If you had taken my words seriously and respected my boundaries,
we wouldn't have been caught
We wouldn't have ended up in this situation.
Well I keep wondering where it went wrong
I'm reflecting on how our relationship fell apart.
I know but can't explain
I have a sense of what went wrong, but I can't quite put it into words.
and if I tell you it won't do a thing but
If I were to open up to you, it wouldn't change anything.
leave you insane
It would only drive you more crazy.
It would be just like when you say to me
Opening up to you would be just like when you use my vulnerabilities against me.
that I destroy your life
You make me feel guilty and responsible for your problems and shortcomings.
It's not what people say in times of need it
When you're feeling vulnerable and need support,
cuts through me like a knife
Your words hurt me deeply and make me feel even more alone.
I'm not sorry that I hit you
I don't regret defending myself physically when I had to.
I think it was my right
I believe that I had the right to defend myself against your violence.
I had warned you not to do it
I had told you beforehand that I wouldn't tolerate any physical aggression.
but you let that one slide
You ignored my warning and crossed a line that I had drawn.
so don't you come to me for blaming
Don't try to make me feel guilty for what happened.
'cause you know it doesn't count
It's not a valid excuse for your own violent behavior.
you know it doesn't stand for anything
You know that your own actions and choices are what really matter.
except: you're too damned proud
Except for your own stubbornness and unwillingness to take responsibility.
for a while...
I may still struggle with the aftermath of this relationship, but I'm moving forward.
Contributed by Isabelle J. Suggest a correction in the comments below.