Kittie formed when Fallon Bowman and Mercedes Lander met in gym class. Morgan Lander became the lead vocalist and one of Kittie's guitarists and Tanya Candler completed the band's lineup on bass. After signing to NG Records, Kittie released their debut album 'Spit', which was certified gold by the RIAA and sold at least 600,000 copies in the United States. The band released 'Oracle' in 2001 and 'Until the End' in 2004. In 2005, Kittie parted ways with Artemis Records and created their own label. The band released 'Funeral for Yesterday' in 2007 and signed to E1 Music in 2009. The band released 'In the Black' in 2009 and 'I've Failed You' in 2011. In 2014, Kittie made a documentary as a 20th anniversary of the band.
In October 2016, it was announced that drummer/vocalist Mercedes Lander had started a new sludge/doom metal band called the White Swan that released the single "Illuminate". The debut EP, Anubis, was released on November 1, 2016.
On February 11, 2017, bassist Trish Doan died at the age of 31. Doan had moved to Australia in 2013 and had frequently used her social media accounts to speak of her frustrations with depression.
On August 30, 2017, the band announced that they would performing a three-set single concert on October 27, 2017, in their hometown of London, Ontario in the London Music Hall, featuring three different lineup variations made up of both current and former members.
The concert marked the launch of their 20-year anniversary documentary, and featured the return of Candler, Bowman, Phillips, Arroyo and Vujic to perform songs from their respective eras. The concert was released on DVD format on March 26, 2019. On March 30, 2018, the documentary Kittie: Origins/Evolutions, which was filmed prior to the reunion concert, was released on Blu-ray and DVD for the very first time. Like they did with reunion concert, Atfield and Marx declined to participate; according to Morgan Lander, Atfield was supportive of the documentary, appearing in the initial crowdfunding pitch video, but "didn’t think it was the right move for her" to appear. Packaged with the movie was a CD featuring a collection of live performances by the band. Several months later, it was announced that Lander had joined the melodic death metal band, Karkaos, as their new lead singer. In October 2020, Mercedes Lander stated that it was unlikely that Kittie would reunite to perform again without a significant financial offer and the ability to include all of the band's former members. Like her sister, she also stated that she found it difficult to go forward with the band without Doan.
Despite the previous doubts of the Lander sisters, it was announced in January 2022 that Kittie would reunite to perform on all three days of the When We Were Young festival, scheduled to take place in Las Vegas, Nevada on October 22, 23, and 29, with Vujic returning to the band on bass for all three dates. After the announcement of the October performances, the band were added to the Blue Ridge Rock Festival at the Virginia International Raceway in Alton, Virginia on September 8, 2022. Morgan Lander has stated that, although nothing is set in stone, she believes the band will continue performing in 2023.
Ugly
Kittie Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I want to be ugly, I want you to see
What its like to be empty inside,
To live, but never truly be free
I want to believe this is all but a dream
A trick of the mind that my life played on me
Awake and I'm breathing, a wasting disease
This grave lays open,
The light beyond my reach
In death there is no comfort,
You betrayed me
Ugly, Just like me
I feel the end coming, I'm weak in the knees
The cold earth, a pine box, the cycle complete
All of the things that were not meant to be
The end of the line is defeat
And they'll say she was such a good girl,
All the things she could be, she was too young to die
I welcome the stillness and sweet relief.
The promise of life is a lie
This grave lays open,
The light beyond my reach
In death there is no comfort,
You betrayed me
You're ugly, Just like me,
Bring me down
The lyrics of Kittie's "Ugly" represent a deep sense of anger and despair, as well as a longing to be understood. The singer is so overwhelmed by emotions that they feel as though they could tear their skin off. They want to be "ugly" so that others can see what it is like to live life feeling empty and unfulfilled. They desire to escape from the torment they feel and to be free from the weight of their emotions.
In the chorus, the singer contemplates whether their experience is just a dream or if they are truly suffering from a wasting disease. The idea of death as a release from the pain they feel is also present in the lyrics. The singer feels as though they are being betrayed by someone or something that has made them feel so low.
The song makes it clear that the singer has been struggling with these feelings for some time. They express a sense of defeat, suggesting that they feel as though they have reached the end of the line. When they say that "all the things that were not meant to be," it is possible that they are talking about their life itself, as if they were not meant to experience the pain that they are going through.
Overall, "Ugly" is a powerful expression of the weight of emotions that can sometimes be too difficult to bear. The singer's anger and despair are palpable, as are their yearning for understanding and their desire for release.
Line by Line Meaning
I'm so fucking mad I could tear my skin off
I am extremely angry to the point of wanting to self-harm.
I want to be ugly, I want you to see
I desire to show my internal emptiness and lack of freedom through physical ugliness.
What its like to be empty inside,
The feeling of emotional emptiness impacting my life.
To live, but never truly be free
The feeling of being trapped and unable to enjoy life to its fullest.
I want to believe this is all but a dream
I wish that my current reality is just an illusion or a nightmare.
A trick of the mind that my life played on me
The feeling of my life deceiving me through my own memories and perception.
Awake and I'm breathing, a wasting disease
The overwhelming pain of being alive while feeling deep despair and sadness.
The torment is growing.
The feeling of my emotional pain becoming more intense and unbearable over time.
This grave lays open,
The fear of death and the idea that my life is slowly leading to my own demise.
The light beyond my reach
The feeling of hopelessness and the inability to reach for something better in life.
In death there is no comfort,
The realization that death does not bring peace or comfort but is just another state of existence.
You betrayed me
Feeling like someone or something has let me down or betrayed my trust in some way.
Ugly, Just like me
Feeling like I am ugly both internally and externally.
I feel the end coming, I'm weak in the knees
The feeling of mortality and the physical response to impending death or doom.
The cold earth, a pine box, the cycle complete
The feeling of life being a predetermined cycle, starting with birth and ending in death.
All of the things that were not meant to be
The feeling of regret and loss, of things not panning out the way one had hoped or expected.
The end of the line is defeat
The feeling of defeat in the face of a seemingly endless cycle of life, death, and rebirth.
And they'll say she was such a good girl,
The idea that people will speak fondly of me after my passing, despite my inner turmoil and pain.
All the things she could be, she was too young to die
The idea that there was potential for greatness or happiness, but it was cut short by premature death.
I welcome the stillness and sweet relief.
The hope for peace and comfort in death, and the acceptance of the end of the cycle of life.
The promise of life is a lie
The feeling that the idea of life being fulfilling and happy is not true for some people.
You're ugly, Just like me,
The idea that someone else may share my feelings of being ugly inside and out.
Bring me down
The desire to be brought down or to end the cycle of life and pain.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind